Fun Fridays – Nov. 18, 2011

No. These are not original. But they are delightful to read again!
Do you have any you can add?

A Little Bit of Fun for Lexophiles (Lover of Words)

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He’s all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

We’ll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

If you take a laptop for a run you could jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.

A calendar’s days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

9 Responses to Fun Fridays – Nov. 18, 2011

  1. Martha Rogers November 18, 2011 at 6:51 am #

    ROFLOL! WHERE do you come up with things? These are wonderful. Thanks for a good laugh to start my day.

  2. Regina Jennings November 18, 2011 at 7:32 am #

    I read this to my kids. Not sure what subject this covers in our homeschooling day, but it was time well spent.

    Thanks for the laughs.

  3. Ruth November 18, 2011 at 7:46 am #

    Very cute…good for Friday laughs! Thanks for sharing…

  4. Keli Gwyn November 18, 2011 at 7:48 am #

    Love, love, love this!

  5. Louanne Peterson Dietrich November 18, 2011 at 7:48 am #

    Funny! Thanks!

  6. Sundi Jo November 18, 2011 at 8:06 am #

    LOVE these! I’m new to your blog. Enjoying it..

  7. Peter Eleazar November 18, 2011 at 9:05 am #

    Get thee to a punnery

  8. Kathryn November 18, 2011 at 12:26 pm #

    Fun Friday’s here are always full of laughter….Thanks for the joy…and please remind everyone….”An author who writes from his basement is sure to have a best cellar.” (Not original, found it on a pun site…)

  9. Peter DeHaan November 18, 2011 at 4:06 pm #

    Now that I’ve had a good laugh for the day (and week), I can segue into the weekend.

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