TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY is September 19.

In preparation for this upcoming day, I’ve provided some completely unoriginal pirate jokes for your fun and enjoyment.

Convert your own book into pirate-speak at this translator site: Pirate Monkeyness.

Please do not tell your pastor or priest to give their Sunday sermon like a pirate. There is all sorts of wrong in that. For “the wages o’ sin be death.”

Enjoy:

How do pirates know that they are pirates?
They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!

How do pirates prefer to communicate?
Aye to aye!

Why couldn’t the pirates play cards?
Because the captain was standing on the deck!

How do ye turn a pirate furious?
Take away the “p.”

What’s a pirate’s favorite part of a song?
The hook!

What do pirates do on Black Friday?
Shop the sails!

How much did the pirate pay for his new boat?
An arm and a leg.

Why type of socks do pirates wear?
Arrrrgyle.

To err is human.
To arr is pirate.

A pirate goes to the doctor to have the spots on his arm examined.
The doctor says: “They’re benign.”
The pirate replies: “No, no doc, there be eleven. I counted them before I came here.”

If ye wants t’ add anythin’, we dare ye t’ do so below.