I want to know where I can buy a case of this product! It can change the world.
Might even change your Thanksgiving meal time next week (for those in the U.S.).
And honey, if you are watching this, I am not “Harold Weathers.” I’m just a little hard of hearing.
Oh, yeah! Where do I get one of those?
Actually, I know, but I’m not telling until I buy a lifetime supply.
Huh? What did you say?
Hysterical Steve, you find the best videos!
I have a long list of people I’d like to zap this with.
Moi? Did someone suggest I need to be zapped now and then? Hmm…
Yeah, I nee…
Ooh, look, a CARDINAL!
(Yeah, go to Rome and you’ll see ’em everywhere, big deal.)
I LOVE where he says it works everywhere except space where there are no molecules!
Steve, you may have created a monster here! You may get pointed at from across the room in whispers at conferences (again) but now for being the guy that touched off “present spray” usage.
Authors who feel the agent is blithely not listening to their pitch of the most fabulously written book ever may feel a need to administer “present spray”.
From the other side of the table, agents that have rendered a succinct professional and polite opinion for the umpteenth time that their book doesn’t fit in anywhere in the history of mankind on planet earth in any way shape or form may feel a need to apply “present spray”.
In short order there will be a pandemic of writers, agents and publishers suffering from a malady of uncertain origin that is attacking the auditory nerve located within the inner ear. This could come to be known in medical circles as “Steve Laube syndrome”.
Proverbs 2:10
For wisdom will enter into your heart. Knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.
Oh my. That would be bad!
By the way, a better verse might be “Those who have ears to hear, let them hear.”
🙂
It might not necessarily be bad because the syndrome known as “Steve Laube syndrome” is named such in honor of the medical pioneer who solved the mystery of the origin and devised the “cure”.
It was a simple but ingenious medical device that blocked the effects of the offending vibrations emitted by “present spray”. This auricular blocking mechanism became known as an ABM. The uneducated, having difficulty pronouncing “auricular blocking device” started calling them “earplugs” (how gauche!).
Steve, being an astute businessman since childhood, knew that referring to this invention by its proper name, ABM, sold for a far better price to the government than simply calling them “earplugs” (ugh). THIS IS THE STUFF THAT LEGENDS ARE MADE OF.
Anyone can go, right now, and look up how much the government is paying for ABM’s verses “earplugs”. There is, albeit small, a difference.
Matt 11:15 IS a great and probably better known verse. I many times focus on the lesser known (in many things) in search of a broader understanding.
Lastly, your post of 16 Mar 2015 “Judging a book by its cover” was great. The cover deals, pretty much exclusively, with our sense of sight and its importance in the marketing of books. I WOULD REALLY LOVE TO HEAR YOUR (and others) OPINION ON THE IMPORTANCE OF BOOK TRAILERS in the marketing of books. There we are dealing with sight (reading and watching pictorial movement) AND sound (voice and effects) in combination on more than one level.
Or tweek the verse a tad…those who have ears to hear…use them to (drum roll)-listen.
Or tweek the verse a tad…those who have ears to hear…let them (drum roll) – listen!
I need this product!
Sad how we don’t tune in to one another. We could learn a lot!
What was it that you just said?
I really do care, it’s just that
your words did fall kind of dead
beside the video of the cat
who espies his own reflection
in the bathroom-counter mirror,
and reacts with quick perfection
making the vanity much clearer
with spinning slashing interlude
to drive away that brazen beast
that chose in hubris to intrude
and thus all Hades was released
in perfumes crashing to the floor…
now, really, can you offer more?
SADDEST OF ALL, WHEN WE DO NOT
LISTEN TO THE VOICE OF THE LORD:
“He speaks, and the sound of His voice
Is so sweet the birds hush their singing,
And the melody that He brings to me
Within my heart is singing!
And He walks with me and He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own.
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known!”
“That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection
and the fellowship of His suffering, being made conformable
unto His death.
Oh, no! Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
I could see my Dad using that at every single family get together.
My poor deafening husband would hear that – but little else after. Even with his hearing aids in – speak clearly and only when facing him.
Now that I’m a retired public school teacher, I’m buying Present Spray for all my still-working friends. I wonder if this product can be purchased in bulk cases with a teacher discount. Thanks for the Friday chuckle.
This is kind of funny, but actually (says a retired teacher after years of experience), the best way to get someone’s attention is to whisper. Those around the whisperer stop talking and lean in so that can hear what the person said. Worked for me every single time in a classroom and in my home!
It worked for a principal in charge of the school where I taught. She habitually spoke quietly; she rarely had to raise her voice.
Oh boy. I need a can of Present Spray in my Christmas stocking! Did you hear that Sweetheart???