Fill your July with PUNS!
I changed my iPhone name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
I’m reading a book about antigravity. I can’t put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.
Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Your Turn: Dare you to add some in the comments!
Happy Birthday to … Rube Goldberg
Marijuana field did wildly burn,
neighbours’ cows feared they would die,
then smoke blew o’er for wind did turn,
and thus the steaks were high,
and they brought to the table
a whiff of Cheech and Chong
and cowbells (to end this fable)
truly began to bong.
Now pity this poor poet
in a weedy rut;
his muse (if you would know it)
comes from sitting on his butt
and lighting it once whacked sirloin
passed by lest they think to purloin.
That. Is. My. Very. Worst.
My step-father was a faux pas.
Edward, I do rather wish I had not had a swig of Diet Pepsi before reading this.
You’ve been spending tooooo much time with Bob Hostetler. lol
“Steve, your pun-filled Fun Fridays posts always brighten my day! Each pun is not only clever but delivered with perfect timing. The variety keeps me entertained—I especially chuckled at the chemist and energizer bunny jokes. Looking forward to more laughs next Friday!”
A physicist’s favorite food is fission chips.
The man who was cooled to absolute zero is OK now.
There’s a band called 1023 MB. They haven’t had any gigs yet.
A photon checked into a hotel with no bags; he’s traveling light.
You can’t trust atoms because they make up everything.
365.25 days of drinking low calorie beer is one lite year.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
The optometrist fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself.
Yep, I’m a dad, and I think puns are the best!
Science jokes are the BEST. Only geeks laugh. 😂
I don’t make puns about chemical elements very often…. Just periodically…
Not at the level of the two Steve’s but I thought I would try (in a writer’s theme).
I decided to write a novel. But I couldn’t think of anything new
They say know your market. So I mark it every day
Everyone should have a right to publish. So go to the conference.
I was asked for the name of my agent. I replied “I cant tell you. He’s a secret agent”
I love my Kindle. I use it to start a bonfire to burn my extra books.
I tried to write a pun, but my dog edit.
I thought i saw an island, but it was just an Aleutian.
It is conference pitching season.
Did you know the first pitch for “Peter Pan” failed?
They needed to improve their antagonist.
That’s right, they needed a better… Hook…
A few more writing and book related puns:
When you go upstairs, why don’t we call that the sequel? It’s the second story.
A book fell on my head. . . I can only blame… my shelf.
I’m going to write a book on anti-gravity…my readers won’t be able to put it down.
Steve and co-laugh-agents:
I am literally in stitches.
You all remind me of my late father, who was eternally twisting words around, to drive us kids crazy. My favorite of his puns, always when driving us anywhere was, “What’s that in the road, a head?”
Steve, this was a great Friday. Thank you!
Do I like horrors? I’m afraid not.
Your Friday post was punny and entertaining. Thanks!
My step-father was a faux pas.
“Autumn’s the coolest season—it will leaf you falling for it.”
So, here’s a little punny story. When I was 11, Bil Keane asked readers of his “Family Circus” comic strip to send in puns for his accompanying “Sideshow” feature. I liked “The Four Seasons” singing group, so I drew a simple drawing of a ship on the ocean with four small stick figures waving at a large stick figure, saying, “Hi, Dad!” (Thus, the “four sea sons.”) I still remember the day my mother opened our back kitchen door to tell me a letter had come in the mail for me. It was from Bil Keane—he was publishing my pun, but he had changed the drawing to a picture of four thieves “seizin'” items. I was still excited that he gave me credit for the inspiration, and my name was in the funny pages! Years later, I took that now-yellowed Sunday comics paper and had it framed. The front and back are encased in glass, so anyone can read the entire “funny” paper, if they like.
I love puns! One like-minded friend and I have long exchanges using puns about a specific word. Keeps the creativity going and practices quick thinking.
A few I’ve run across:
If you don’t like tacos, I’m nacho guy.
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer.
Broken pencils are pointless.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
Velcro – what a rip off!
A few puns make me numb, but math puns make me number.
And from 2020: Due to the quarantine, I’ll only be doing inside jokes.