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Fun with First Lines in a Novel

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A writers’ group I’m involved in often plays a game where we share the first line of our work-in-progress. I’m always so intrigued and impressed with what these talented writers share. So let’s do the same here. Whether your work is fiction or nonfiction, go ahead and share your first line! And please, ONLY the first line. It’s a great way to see if it’s effective.

I’ll start:

First line of my current fiction Work=In-Progress:

Well, at least this would prove that my mother was wrong all these years: stepping foot in the kitchen was going kill me!

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  1. Susan Van Volkenburgh

    The sun stood at its full height over the once lush valley, laid waste by the ravages of battle, now a barren waste land littered with corpses and blood soaked earth. THE STONE OF EBENEZER by Susan Van Volkenburgh

  3. Nancy B. Kennedy

    I’m not a fiction writer, so I have nothing to share. But my favorite first line of all time comes from Garrison Keillor’s “Pontoon”: “Evelyn was an insomniac, so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that.”

  4. Lori Benton

    From the WIP: Listen to a thing that I was sent to tell you: it is the story of a man, a warrior, and some of it you know, but you do not know the whole of it, and it is needful that you do.

  5. Ivane Luna

    A good first line can really keep me reading. Never underestimate the power of a good first line. Not sure if my current WIP’s line is a little too cliche, but here you go:

    “Once upon a time, a sky prince fell in love with a water princess.”

      • Ivane Luna

        Aww… Thanks, Kathy! 🙂 This is one story I’m really excited about, but then again… I always am excited about my stories in the beginning, then the nitty-gritty of the writing happens and well… *facepalm*

  6. Michael J. Webb

    It is a sunny, crystal clear, late Southern California afternoon and something wicked is brewing deep within the bowels of the old house.

    First line from my new thriller, Devil’s Cauldron, a Work in Progress.

  7. Susan Stitch

    Imma knew she should be terrified, but all she felt was peace. I don’t have a good name for this yet and I decided not to agonize over the first line until later!

      • Heather Marsten

        Thanks, it’s from a memoir – and the first chapter introduces the characters. The first scene is a child’s game of caveman – a game where the cavemen boys try to catch the girls in their hula hoop lassos. If the girls won, the boys would have to play house. The chapter ends detailing one of the first incestuous scenes with my father – at age seven, he played the game – hide the soap in the bathtub – needless to say where he found it. So the I hate boys’ games applies throughout the chapter. Have a blessed day.

  11. Henya

    Bree had no clue what she would find when she finally got up Wednesday morning at 6:00, her normal wake up time since having given birth four weeks ago.

  16. Diane T. Ashley

    So many of those first lines are great and make me want to read the books. Here’s the first line from my suspense WIP currently titled Beyond the Tracks:

    SKREEEEEEEEE! The world tipped onto its ear.

    • Rebecca LuElla Miller

      Well, THAT’s a startling first line! It’s pretty clear that the person talking (I wish I knew who that was) has had a prior relationship with the other individual. I mean, no one would be so bold to presume the other person is thinking about having sex if there wasn’t some history there. So it immediately raises the question–what happened between them?

      Becky

  23. Wendy Macdonald

    Karen, I like the mix of humor and intrigue in your first line.

    Here’s the first line of my mystery WIP: Leaves lay flattened on either side of the road, and only the occasional one danced, as if resurrected, when the car in front of them passed by.

    Blessings ~ Wendy ❀

    • Wendy Macdonald

      After reading everyones’ great first sentences I think I’ll switch to one that has more of a hook to it. Here it goes: “Why hasn’t she answered her phone for the last three days?” Kerri asked her husband before continuing to chew on her thumbnail.

  30. Rebecca LuElla Miller

    Thanks for this, Karen. It’s always good to get feedback.

    From LIARS AND THIEVES, most definitely a work in progress:

    Snow dusted Josiah’s winter cloak as he mounted the stairs with the other elders to the top of the Three Rivers Wall.

    Becky

    • Sophia

      I love the feelings this gives off — cold, ancient, sadness, despair, tension. I want to know Josiah. I want to know why he’s going up those stairs and what he’ll find or do when he gets to the wall. It feels like it won’t be something good — it feels like one of those life-changing moments, where life is talked about in terms of before and after — and I want a front-row seat when it happens.

      • Rebecca LuElla Miller

        Thanks, Sophia. I’m still playing with it and undoubtedly won’t settle on anything until I’ve finished writing the whole thing, but I appreciate your feedback. It really helps to know how the line strikes others. And yes, this is a pivotal moment. 😉

        Becky

  33. Marie

    “Hide the knives.”

    This line comes from what I thought was going to be the middle of my story, but during a writing workshop it popped into my head as a great first line.

    What do you think?

    • Theresa Santy

      I love this as an opening line. I don’t know what to expect. Is it something comical or something terrifying? The only part that feels slightly off (to me) are the quotes. But I’d really have to see the next few lines before I made a judgment call on that.

      • Marie

        Good point, Theresa. The quotes are there because the main character says this to her boyfriend. They’re visiting her parents, and they’ve just witnessed a startling outburst from her father who has dementia. Her imagination goes into overdrive about other unpredictable ways he might act out because of his illness, which is when this idea pops into her head.

    • Rebecca LuElla Miller

      I think there’s intrigue, but I’m not a big fan of dialogue for a first line. I don’t know the characters or situation, so generally the line loses some of its punch, I think. Is this said in jest or is this someone living with an abuser? Is there real danger or is there a close, fun relationship that can handle teasing? First lines certainly don’t answer those kinds of questions, but I think if they hint one way or the other, then readers will know what to look for next. Just my thoughts.

      Becky

      • Marie

        And to address your question, and Theresa’s, I’m wrestling with the idea of how to tell the story of a family’s tragic, sometimes terrifying, journey after their loved one’s diagnosis of dementia, while also capturing the richly comical, light-hearted and bittersweet side of the story. I haven’t found the right voice for it yet.

    • Sandy Mauck

      I’ve been thinking on this one. I liked the excitement and now that I know what it is about, it does have that comical touch to it.
      Having had a grandma with Alzheimer’s, there is always that bit of humor in the hard of it. (Like her screaming in the middle of the bank “This man is stealing my money!” when she walked in with my dad.) If I didn’t know what it was about, I would have said no to reading on because of the knives. But I say yes, it’s good now that I have a clue.

  37. Kathy Kovach

    If Jaclyn Grimm hadn’t already lost a night’s sleep keeping Mina alive, she’d be tempted to finish her off. Favorite blouses do that to sisters. –From Big, Bad Wolfe

    I know it’s two lines, but I had to get the punch line in.

  38. Mary Albers Felkins

    Hmmm. Just started to tackle the whole “captivating first line” challenge the other day so here goes:

    Once the intensity in the emergency department eased to a hush Tracy thumbed the white edged photo of her father who stood stalwart in his dark uniform but she ordered her longing for the safety of his arms to be discharged quicker than the portly patient who’d been complaining of abdominal pain.

  41. m. rochellino

    Karen, first line ONLY, per instructions.

    “I didn’t order another drink” said the young US Army soldier to the pretty cocktail waitress in the sexy but tasteful outfit, after all, this was a class hotel.

    Terriffic blog query. Investigates creativity and ability to follow simple directions all in one easy request! Genius!

    Loved your first line. I don’t personally know of any women who were killed by stepping foot in the kitchen but I know more than a few of their loved ones who nearly were as a result. lol

  44. Heather Day Gilbert

    Thanks so much for letting us share! The first line of my latest novel (Miranda Warning, an Appalachian mystery just released June 20th), is this:

    “I chose the day I would die.”

    I love first lines and I always want mine to be real zingers. 🙂

  45. Sharyn Kopf

    Thanks for starting this, Karen! It’s always fun to see what other people come up with.

    So, here are mine:

    From my novel-in-progress, Inconceived —

    The second time I went to the Nashville Women’s Clinic, someone went with me.

    ***

    And from my nonfiction WIP, Spinstered —

    This is a love story.

  47. Michelle Massaro

    There are some fantastic first lines here! I haven’t gotten to the stage where I’m focused on the first line just yet, but here’s the first sentence in Scrivener at the moment:

    “With classical music softly filling the air around her, Melody Harrison polished off her peppermint tea and placed her mug in the sink.”

    from WIP Greater Still

    • Thomas W

      trying this again — 1st line of WIP, historical fiction:

      IN THE EAST, in a country washed by sunglare and by slender rivers that drop from distant mountains to gash the desert flats and seek the sea—there in the East one early morning a child always restless was seized by a sudden stillness.

      • Sandy Mauck

        I really liked this and I don’t usually like a really long first line. If it were me I would start with ‘In the country”. I felt like I was there. I could see the layout of the land and I loved your descriptions and you put the character right in it. If I can feel it, I am hooked.

  54. Mary

    “I had a very happy childhood, until I started remembering it.” — It’s not part of a WIP yet, but I love the line.

    Opening line from my current WIP: I curled into myself, screams dying to moans.

  55. Hannah Currie

    “This would be the summer that changed Chloe’s life forever. At least, that was what the brochure promised, and she should know for she’d read it enough times over the past seven months to have it memorised.”

  56. Geni White

    Hafton Valley, Oregon

    The best parents a guy could ever have and I killed them–death and a half, the worst kind—twice–you hear me, God, if you are even real–I didn’t want them dead.

    From my Figleaf Mystery about a young Oregon policeman who owes an Arab sheik a million dollar favor.
    The theme is human trafficking of preschool boys from third world countries to be racing camel jockeys because of the boys low weights.

  57. Martha Rogers

    Wow! These have been some really good first lines. Here’s mine from Christmas in Stoney Creek.

    Scruffy and somewhat dirty as well as odourous, the old man shrank into the corner of his seat on the train.

  58. Sondra Kraak

    “Abandoning her at Conklin House hadn’t been Father’s intention, and like the good girl she was, Lorna Caine had vowed forgiveness that first summer.”

    I’m late posting as I was gone last week, many of these first lines are intriguing. They’re spurring my own creativity and urge to write.

  59. Lisa Evola

    Flimsy paper coloring books bursting with partially shaded images packed the shelves of a child’s room: my room, each page within bearing witness to a minor flaw. -the art of God {excerpt}

  60. megan

    so, i’m working on my very first manuscript for a non-fiction inspirational memoir. here goes!

    If I may be so bold, I would say that my husband and I, like Isaiah, came face to face with the Holy of Holies and we are not the same.

  61. Lia Oxanne

    this is from Muse
    “The phone vibrated.
    I suddenly woke up. Oh, what the hell? Already morning? Please, stop! I started to search for my phone under my pillow while mumbling. Of course that having my head still on it wasn’t helping.”

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