You’ve heard it over and over: Show, don’t tell. And that’s appropriate whether you’re writing fiction or nonfiction. When you communicate emotions in your writing, when those emotions are vital to your scene or message, it’s more powerful to show them.
Now, I’m not going to tackle the pros and cons of telling, or when and why it’s better to show. (I covered at that in a previous post, so go there if you want to read up on it.) Instead, I want to talk today about how to show in such a way that your readers will not just read what your characters are going through, they’ll live it. In a way that avoids the dreaded clichés. Namely, to use your own emotional memory to bring your characters’ emotions to life.
We writers often struggle with finding a new or unique way to show emotions. I mean, how many ways are there to show that someone is angry? Yelling? Frowning? Throwing something? Yes, yes, and yes…all of which have been used over and over. But you and I have within us the key to taking our showing to the next level. And that’s reliving those emotionally charged moments in our lives. You know how I keep saying nothing is wasted in the life if a writer? Well, our own emotions, how they impacted us, how we expressed them, are a treasure trove of writing resources.
For example, think of the last time you got mad. I mean, really mad. Picture that in your mind. Focus on how it felt. What was your physical reaction to the anger? Where did you feel it? How did you feel it? What was your physical response? Examine every angle, and write it down.
For example:
I stared out a window until I could get my temper under control.
Heat rushed my face, then I went cold.
The blood pounded in my head, and it hurt so much I could hardly think straight.
The muscles in my neck and shoulders bunched and knotted.
I clenched my teeth so hard that I thought I was going to break them.
I put my hand on a cold window hoping that would cool off my heated temper.
My jaw ached all the way up into my ear.
Hateful words filled me, and it was like they were choking me.
My stomach threatened to reject the lunch I’d just eaten.
Any or all of these can be used when you write, to bring a level of reality to what you’re showing. For example:
Sarah stared out the window, focusing on the clean snow blanketing the yard. On the bits of snow dropping from the trees. On anything but the man standing there, waiting for her response to his accusation. The pain in her jaw warned her that she was clenching her teeth again. Hard. So hard she thought they might break. She closed her eyes. Stop…don’t say it. You’ll only regret it. But the heated words pressed into her throat, choking her. She swallowed hard, then leaned forward, pressing her forehead against the frigid glass. If only her temper would cool as well.
I encourage you to keep your own “Emotions Journal,” where you use your emotional memory to flesh out as many emotions as you can. And then ask those around you how it feels when they experience the emotions you’re exploring.
In this way, you can have an ever-growing resource for showing emotions in powerful and unique ways.
So now let’s have some fun. Think of a time you were frightened. Scared to the core. Use that emotional memory and write no more than three lines to show the fear. And remember: no clichés allowed!
It’s a Flat World After All
When I told my family that I was writing a book, they asked if it was about my life. I laughed. No one would believe all of that happened to one person. My writing is full of adventure and romance, seemingly nothing like my life, but I have been surprised at how many times my real life experiences are reflected in my writing.
There was one emotional scene in my book that I could not pull from memory. I tried, but the scene was lacking something. I turned to someone who had the experience and I knew she wouldn’t mind sharing it with me. After talking with her, I rewrote the scene. It was not the same as her experience, but the emotions behind the experience was there. When I read it back to her, she cried.
Great post, Karen. I’ve always used my own experiences when it comes to writing emotional scenes. Otherwise, it doesn’t have the same kick.
Here’s a frightening one…
When I heard her antagonistic words, my heart threatened to sever my vocal chords with its sharp rush into my throat. I wanted to rescue him as I had done time and time again, but this time it would be impossible, and the reality of that fact shook my whole body and drained my strength. My throat ached with the tears I was holding back, and as I sat isolated in my car, my mouth agape, and phone pressed hard against my ear, I felt as if it were me against the entire world.
I always learn something from you, Karen. Today it’s a bit different than you’d think. I use this tool a lot, but because I tend to write lean, I wouldn’t have spent as much time on it. I would have done maybe 2 sentences. But I see how this works so well. And I’m running a couple of places over in my mind on the manuscript I’m on deadline for – and have just enough time to go through to check. :o) Thanks!!
“It’s cancer.” I want to say more, to soften the blow from the test results we’ve been waiting for, but it is all I can get past my tight throat. I bend double, every particle of air knocked from my body. Mom’s arms surround me. Dad’s hand squeezes my shoulder, as I tell myself to breathe.
Thanks, Karen, for such practical and helpful advice. Much appreciated!
I walked into the room not knowing what to expect. When I saw the tube drilled into his skull, my knees gave way. I felt the blood draining and my stomach and heart were at war within. I remembered God had said, “Be brave.”
It had gotten to the point that, whenever my cell phone rang with the prefix from his school, I answered with trembling fingers, blood pulsing in my ears and the aching hollow of failure in my gut.
Karen, what a great post.Susan May Warren taught me about the value of an emotions journal. I love the questions you add to it though. They will help me really explore emotions.
Here’s my go at your prompt. Sorry it’s a little long. 🙂
She jerked up in bed, heart pounding, and listened. There it was, a thud from downstairs. Darkness pressed in on her, trying to suffocate her. Maybe she’d imagined it? No. There is was again. Her breaths came shallow, loud. Of course her husband was gone when someone broke into their home. She shifted the covers, her heart beating hard against her chest. With a shaky hand, she reached for the bat next to the bed. She was the only one who stood between her children and an intruder.
I do keep journals, and they have a record of every emotional time in my life from my own diagnosis of cancer, to forgiving my brother for his crimes, to my husband’s diagnosis of melanoma.
I used one of the entries in my book as I put my hero through the same agonizing emotional roller coaster I endured when I learned my brother was going to prison. My dad’s pastor visited my brother in jail and he accepted Christ as his Savior. I didn’t want to believe it, but it became evident that it was true. The agony of forgiving him for something so against all my beliefs and principles was most difficult and took much prayer and pleading before the forgiveness came.
My hero went through the same agony in coming to the point of forgiving the heroine for a past over which she’d had no control, but he’d fought against for years. God had rescued her, but until the hero could forgive her, he couldn’t love her despite his growing feelings for her.
That was a very difficult scene to write because it brought up all the old pain, but to make my hero’s situation authentic, I had to do it.
I’ve kept Jesus journals about my life since I was 16 and I write raw emotions in them, but I know I can go deeper. A problem I’m working on is really letting lose and writing all, and exactly what I’m feeling to the circumstances I face. Like core stuff ya know? Jesus knows anyway so why do I not own up to it on paper? Maybe it shows how ugly and sinful my thoughts are (a whole different discussion) But it makes for emotional writing like this posts discussed.
This happened to me when I was 14:
At 2:00 am, the backyard motion light clicked on. My friend and I flinched, clung to one another like life support, and stared wide eyed out into the black shadows that moved unnaturally across the lawn. Another click. All light vanished, encompassing us in a heavy blanket of darkness. Air caught in my chest, and the rapid pounding of my heart pained my ears. Must hide. Panicked tears threatened my eyes. Of course this is the night my parents are out of town. I squeezed my friend’s trembling hand and in a quivering voice whispered, “Why did we watch that horror movie?”
I’m pretty obedient, especially when it comes to challenges and not having 3 sentences bothered me. I wanted to see if I could revise.
I flinched from the beam of light that flooded my backyard from the motion sensor. Click. All light vanished, air trapped in my chest, and the pounding of my heart pained my ears. Trembling in the darkness that encompassed me like a heavy black blanket, regrets of watching that horror movie tormented my mind.
Better, but a comparison is missing, hmmm… This is fun, thanks for the challenge, Karen!
I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans and crept up to the window. Forcing myself to take a deep, steady breath, I peered into the darkness. Then, over the thudding in my ears, I heard a crunch on the gravel behind me and my head whipped round.
Thanks for the thoughts, Karen.
He narrowed his eyes at the darkening horizon, the rumble of thunder mixing with the uneven pounding of his pulse in his ears. Tightness clawed his heart, sharp as the tines from his plow. Shelter was a necessity, now, but even if he made it to the cellar in time, nothing could sanctuary him from the memories of the past.
Great stuff, everyone! Love seeing how you bring your emotional history to the page for your characters. Well done!
This is a great idea!!
3 Sentences showing a frightening time:
Wanting to share a workable connection tool for increasing G-d/me personal relationship in times of challenging hard times keeps me producing visual word mapping pages in 6, 8,10 hour days. But reading real writers comments to blogs intimitated me and kept me from coming back–for a while. The consuming fire burning that causes me to capture even strangers in a grocery line as a focus group of one, brought me back in courage and boldness to open what is in me as I learn and practice the other processes in pre-publishing reality, no matter what happens.