So, I’m at a writers’ conference—a professional setting, yes? With folks who are clearly well educated, especially about the use of words, yes?–and this is what I hear: “Just give Jim and I a call, and we’ll talk it over.”
Cringe.
Then came a recent commercial on TV, where a supposed doctor was saying, “This product has been tested by myself and others in the medical field.” Good grief. I shut off the TV and escaped to a published book, where I’d surely find respite from the rotten use of language, only to find this awaiting me: “…the choices which he had made would come back to haunt him.”
Double cringe.
And don’t even get me started on those signs in grocery stores that say the express lane is for “10 items or less.”
AARRGGHH!
Okay, yes, I know you can’t edit speech. And expecting grocery store owners to know proper grammar is a bit pie-in-the-sky. But here’s the deal: we writers are surrounded by the improper use of the English language. And while walking around correcting the errors people make in speech will garner you far more resentment than gratitude, I do think we need to be aware enough to (a) use these terms correctly in our writing and speech and (b) correct improper usage in our personal sphere of influence, such as with our kids or those who consider us mentors of any kind. Or the folks who read what we write. Not because we’re the grammar police or want to show others how very intelligent we are, but because we’re wordsmiths. And because, Twitter and texts notwithstanding, using language well still matters. And trying to sound intelligent only works when use language correctly.
Next week, I’ll give you some guidelines that I keep in mind (not, you will notice, which I keep in mind) as a wordsmith. But for now, I want to hear from you, fellow wordsmiths, about two things:
First, if you have elements of English that cause you grief. Does the use of which/that stymie you? Are you confused (as I confess I still am at times) as to whether something is laying or lying? Let me know and if it’s something I’m not already addressing next week, I’ll suss out simple tricks to help.
Second, what language or grammar gaffes set your teeth on edge? I’m guessing I’m not the only one bothered by these kinds of things.
Ready? Set. Go!
Actually, It Is Whether You Win or Lose
»
I know I’m not very good at grammar, but that doesn’t stop me from searching out the right word usage when it is brought to my attention. However, for a long time it hurt when someone would point out my mistakes in a way that made me feel stupid. Then one day I realized that my grammar mishaps keep me humble and remind me that I am human, and to give grace to others.
Well said, Morgan. Back to honoring all people, right?
The statement I hear often that drives me crazy: “the reason why is because…” Why not say: the reason is…
I struggle to use affect/effect correctly. I used to know, but then I started teaching college writing. Students use affect/effect wrong so often that I got confused and can’t tell the difference. I have to look the words up every time. Give me an easy way to remember, beyond affect is action…because effect is action sometimes, too. Isn’t it?
Good question. I’ll tackle it next week.
Karen, are you going to expound on the difference in meaning conveyed by “will” and “shall” and how that varies depending on whether it is 1st, 2nd, or 3rd person?
We wrote out dozens of drills on will/shall in elementary school in the 1960’s, so it must be really important.
No, but you can feel free to do so!
I give people grace when they speak. It doesn’t bother me as much as seeing the written word mutilated. It’s texting, quick emails and twitter that has destroyed the English language. My niece wrote on a note, “Thx 4 the gift! I luv it cuz I can use it now! When r u coming to visit? I’ll prolly see ya guys soon!” She’s nineteen and believes that is the proper way to write someone. I literally started to hyperventilate.
P.S. Karen, I am officially terrified to ever speak to you.
LOL! Holly, don’t be afraid. I really don’t correct people often. It’s more of an inner agony.
This has been a very entertaining hoot! To the average person we probably sound like a bunch of highfalutin elitists. Having been a member of Mensa for the past few decades this discussion is far from new to me. It is a chronic source of vociferous complaint heard (and sometimes voiced) by many of my fellow eggheads. BLOVIATING ABOUT IT GIVES US A GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO EVENTUALLY LAUGH AT OURSELVES AND OUR MOMENTARY POMPOSITY.
A wise old business attorney advising me as a young man before going into court with a case I brought once said “there is the technical law and then there is the practical law”. I applied myself to learn fully what that meant. I, many times, apply such sage advice to the English language (and many other things) as well. Excusssssse me! lol
To me, the English language is liquid, constantly in transition and “changes” imperceptibly at the speed of a glacier, particularly when incorporating slang as it presents itself. My guess is that most people wouldn’t even know what we are talking about, much less care. Just sayin!
God Bless
🙂
When I was employed as an editor for Bethany House I was tempted to get a vanity license plate that read “EDITUR” !!?!! It would have been perfect for my inability to porfread my own writing.
Now it would have to read “AGNT” and no one would understand.
Steve
hahahahahahahahaha, Think of all the entertainment you would provide facilitating folks feeling better about themselves
“Look Myrna, everyone knows its spelled editer”
“Look at the guy over there “AGNT” means he’s “against” something, I wonder what? People are never satisfied”
God Bless!
People might actually read that as “America’s Got No Talent”. I immediately connected it with the TV show. *grin*
Steve, I almost got that very same license plate! As for the Agent plate, how about AJINT?
Or you could just use ‘A GENT’ and the ladies would smile as you pass by. 🙂
English is a living language and some things mentioned, like the way teenagers talk, will probably become accepted usage in the future. But some of the grammatical mistakes mentioned give me the creeps. It’s like the difference between an instrument from another culture that sounds weird to us and the sound of fingernails scratching on a blackboard.
Janet, for it it’s more like something taking an instrument I know and love, like the flute, and using drumsticks to play it. It’s just wrong. And, at times, it hurts.
Why do people say ray-she-oh if they don’t say nay-she-un? It’s ray-sho and nay-shun. Ratio and nation.
Burton, I think that’s a dialectical difference. People pronounce words differently in different parts of the country. I was once in poorly administered internet critique group and didn’t sty with it long, but I did learn from the comments things that scan and rhyme in some dialects don’t in others.
Burton, that’s a whole different blog. As Janet said, that’s more about regional differences in pronunciation. In my own home we talk about taking the dogs to bathe in the creek (pronounced as both creak and crick), about shooing birds off the roof (rufe/ruff), and pulling clothes out of the washing machine (warshing/washing).
I love regional differences like that.
I live in the south, so my pet peeves are double subjects, double negatives, and double superlatives.
Oh, and “Me and her went to the store.” Ugggg.
I have a lot of fun answering the question, “How are you?” I always answer with. “I am well.” Then I ask them how they’re doing, and they respond, “I’m good.”
I then say, “Only God is good. The Bible says, ‘There is none good, no not one.”
And then comes the puzzled expressions and theology debates… ^_^
As an academic editor (who is sometimes called in to do fiction editing), my greatest axe movements are applied to the use of infinite verbs. E.g. ‘Leaning toward her, heart beating and pulse racing, the moment of truth dawned on him…’
That’s one amazing moment of truth!