Did you know you’re a wordsmith? If you’re a writer, you are. A wordsmith is defined by Webster’s as a “craftsman or artist whose medium is words.”
That, my friends, is you.
Which is why I’m coming to you today and asking you to have mercy on your readers. (Yes, I’m making this same request of myself as a writer.) Whether you write fiction or nonfiction, let’s be done with empty words in our dialogue and action beats. What, you may ask, do I mean? Well, here are some my wonderful editor, Julee Schwarzburg, pinpointed in my own writing (and when you read these, add any variant. For example, for nod, also include nodded, nodding, nods, and so on):
nod, smile, laugh, grin, wink
Julee went so far as to say if people did those things as often as I had my characters doing them in my novels, they’d be bobble-heads. I had to laugh and nod, ‘cuz she was right.
Now, don’t misunderstand me. These kinds of words/actions are fine. In moderation. But in the oh-so-many years I’ve been editing, I’ve seen them used and used and used again. I’m talking all. The. Time. So a number of years ago I started a list of pet words that many writers use in both fiction and nonfiction. Putting these in your first drafts is fine. But when you go through your work as a wordsmith, that’s the time to ferret out these posers and replace them with more thoughtful, effective words. So here are a few to add to those listed above:
laugh/snicker/giggle
An aside on snicker: I’m telling you, everyone is using snicker these days. I did an experiment and went on the hunt for a snicker. Listened to my friends and family, to folks at church, to people in the grocery store…Not a snicker among ‘em. People just don’t snicker in real life as often we they’re snickering in our novels and anecdotes.
An aside giggle: Not many grown men giggle, but I’ve seen a lot of books or submissions lately where writers have their heroes (or even the villains) giggling. Yes, okay, a few grown men do. My 6’3” younger bro, for example. And Magnum P.I. But it’s funny and cute when they do it, because it’s unexpected. What say we keep the man giggles unexpected and let the guys in our books laugh like men. Just sayin’…
Smile/grin/smirk
I don’t care if you’ve got someone smiling or if they’re tossing, casting, aiming, or directing a smile at someone else…if just one side of the mouth lifts or if both do…if the smile is lopsided or broad… smiles are flat overdone. Find a better action/response, friends. Your readers will thank you.
An aside on smirk: Don’t use it in a positive or happy sense. A smirk is a sarcastic or negative action, defined in Webster’s as a conceited or simpering smile.
Look/gaze/stare/
Yes, in real life, we look at each other. Hey, it’s part of being with other people. But to use these things over and over in your work feels tedious and unimaginative to the reader. (And to the viewer! I remember watching the movie Age of Innocence, and at one point leaned close to my friend and ground out through clenched teeth, “If Daniel Day Lewis gives her one more long, soulful look, I’m going to scream!” Yeah…SO not my kinda movie…)
There are lots more, but these in particular show up all over the place. So, what do we use instead of these things? Well! I’m so glad you asked. We’ll get into some of the tools of wordsmithing next week. For now, I’d like to know what overused words/actions you’ve realized you use. Or what have you seen in the books you read?
So bring your coffee, gather ‘round the blog post, and share!
But I Don’t Like Social Media!
Hi Karen,
First of all, I can’t believe you got my dog to pose by the typewriter. He loves to come into my office and lay beside my feet, but I’ve never seen my Westie up in the chair. Now my husband’s recliner is another story.
How about shrugged?
Thanks for sharing and challenging us to be more creative in our word choices.
I know, right? I love that dog picture. Steve Laube chooses the pix for the blogs, and they’re always perfection.
And oh, yes! Shrugging! Must find something else for our folks to do than shrug. Thanks!
I could do with tea/chai/caffeine but will stick with your coffee, sounds good/better/best. I like to stir, my cup that is/will be. Not wanting to be the daily mug, let me weigh in – actually I feel way out, as the froth on me coffee is whey too thick. I do try to avoid overused words and have my own list of no-no’s (yes, yes I do), but I do a word search on those/them after writing and either eliminate, change/alter/redo or restyle the sentence to get around/over/through it.
A simple word count on overused words will quickly reveal the need to do some editing …
Search is a great tool, Peter. When I search for a word I know I tend to overuse, I always click on the “show all matches in sidebar.” That way I get the count on how many times it’s used. Very helpful.
And just a tad depressing.
Oh crap. (Excuse the language). Guilty as charged on all counts. And I plead the fifth until I can come up with a better word than smile. 😉
LOL, Chris! Amazing, isn’t it, how those things slip in? But hey, you’ve got the chops to fix ’em!
Hmmm…there are more than one but I was alarmed to realize that I had overused the word paraphernalia in a WIP. I had “diaper changing paraphernalia” and oh I think “child transportation paraphernalia” and all sorts of stuff. Had to cut the usage down even though I feel like that word automatically makes a sentence more funny. But not too many times! It is not fun anymore if it is common.
Now there’s one I’ve never seen before! I love hearing what our pet words are. You’re exactly right: “It is not fun anymore if it is common.”
I’m tired of seeing twisting guts and clenching fists. And when my heroine’s eyes fill with tears, mine often roll. I’m much more impressed with authors who can show emotions without sharing the hero’s every physiological reaction. I don’t need to know what his bowels are doing, thank you very much. (And I do it, too, in my first draft. I try to change as many of those as possible in my second.)
LOLOL! Thanks for the guffaw, Robin. I almost snorted my coffee when I read the bit about the bowels.
There’s a great website app at WriteWords called the Word Frequency Counter: http://www.writewords.org.uk/word_count.asp They also have a Phrase Frequency Counter where you determine the length of the phrase (2 or more words).
I put Karen’s blog post through the word counter, and here were all the words with a frequency over 4. For some reason, the program separates out apostrophes, so rather than telling you the word “I’ve” shows up 5 times, it has “i” 18 times, and “ve” 5 times.
The program helps me know what words to search for in my writing, to limit.
21 and
19 you
19 a
18 the
18 i [as in I, I’m, I’ve]
17 in
16 to
12 or
12 of
9 so
9 my
8 these
8 is
8 if
8 as
7 s [as in ‘s]
6 your
6 words
6 snicker
6 m [as in ‘m]
6 but
6 are
5 what
5 we
5 ve [as in ‘ve]
5 use
5 smile
5 on
5 it
5 for
5 do
5 at
Thanks for sharing that website. That looks like a good one to check out. 🙂
Useful, but could be too detailed – after all “and” is expected to occur a lot, so why worry about that. Rather search for known problem words in MSW and it will count their occurrences and then also lead you to each one so you can review. Works great for me.
I do think the best solution is to keep a list of the words you overuse and search for those specific words. And to ask your readers, editors, or critique partners let you know if they notice any new ones.
Since I write historical, I can’t use the juicy “snort filled ugly cry”. But perhaps I’ll find a way…
But…why not? Didn’t they snort in historical times? Or utter ugly cries?
Oh, I see…
It’s because it’s a TERRIBLE phrase.
LOL!
Some of my waaaay overused words—besides the ones you listed—are back and would. Working on both of those as I revise my current MS.
I’m looking forward to your post next week. 🙂
You made me think of a couple of other overused general phrases:
in order to–Cut it. Every time. It’s just not needed.
beginning to/starting to–again, unless you need to show that the event or action is just starting, get rid of them. Or rewrite them. So not “Finally! She was beginning to understand.” but “Understanding crept in at last. It was about time!”
Thank you for your post. I think that’s why I like to write. It brings on the challenges of writing better. Looking forward to future posts.
Thanks, Heather. Love your outlook on writing.
I nodded, smiled and laughed at myself when I realized how guilty I am on all counts.
I’m looking forward to next week’s blog post. I’ll be there, coffee in hand.
I’ll be watchin’ for you, Joe.
Oh my…guilty of so many of these. In the manuscript I’m working on I found those “weasel words” so many times. One I’m really guilty of is “at that moment.” My editor highlighted each time I used the phrase in one manuscript and sent it back with one simple word, “Really?” Now I look for that phrase. I love good editors who see things in a different light and make my writing so much better.
BTW: I have a Flip Dictionary now and it’s great for finding new words to use in place of the overused ones.
Don’t you love it when editors know us well enough to do that? Good editors, those who know the craft and can direct us with humor and kindness…those folks are gold!
Sighed, and breathed (or blew out) a heavy breath. Those are my go to gestures when writing with the internal editor off. It drives me mad, because the editor’s not really off, she’s just ignored :-).
Tanara, I hear you. And do keep in mind, the editor NEEDS to be turned off when you’re writing, or you’ll end up second guessing yourself smack-dab into insanity. When you’re writing, just write. Get it on the page. Er…computer screen. THEN let the editor out to play.
As a former toastmaster, we routinely asked an umcounter to tally the recurring use of common glitches, like um or its many proxies, er, … pause …, etc. The weekly report backs heightened our awareness of unconscious bad habits. I have had many hobby words, but counting them in my writing, beat it out of me. Sadly, we will also use those words in everyday conversation. A particularly irritating one to me is OMG, which is said quite mindlessly, but I hear other glitches in interviews, like “You know” – no I don’t, why would I be interviewing you if I did, or “I am not sure”, which means I don’t have a clue. Its good to be reminded of it, but it takes discipline to weed these habits out of our vocab.
Peter, sometimes I think we use those things when speaking because we’re afraid of a moment of silence. But just being still as we search for the right thing to say isn’t always a bad thing. Even better, though, is being purposeful in what we’re saying–and writing.
I am with Chris, Martha and Tanela on this. Weasel word extracting is exactly what I am doing right now.
There is a lot of laughing and smiling in my book. UGH!
I have to admit I am utterly (yeah, I know everyone hates that word) irritated with so many descriptions in the popular books in my genre. I find my self stopping and making stupid faces trying to figure just what kind of brow, lip, etc. emotion they are trying to express. Crazy stuff.
The one that makes me crazy is the head dipping thing. Obviously, they wanted a new word for bowing the head so now they dip. First time I read it my brows crinkled and I squinted my eyes. I saw a big punchbowl dipper with the head…it goes down and it comes up. Looked absurdly amusing to me.
So…we can’t get too descriptive about scenery in this era but we can go to insane descriptions of face twisting? To me it stops the flow like a flashing red light.
Hear, hear! I’m with you on the dipping heads. Rather than trying to get “creative,” let’s study things like facial expressions and body language. Watch the folks around you, those you know and those you don’t. Make note of expressions or body language or tone of voice and the correlating emotion. These kinds of descriptions, which come from real people, are far more effective.
Karen, I read your blogs with fear and trepidation. I know that I will be challenged to revisit my manuscript once again, plowing through the debris for my latest blunder. Even so, thanks for pointing out these mishaps. I find the Steve Laube Agency’s blogs the most helpful albeit the most painful. 🙂
This is me, hitting the “Like” button? {:0)
Yay! Thanks, Heather.
Oh, Tammy, you made me laugh! Sorry for the pain. But so happy you keep coming back.
As a reader/reviewer, the one I see overdone the most is “she padded down the stairs” “padded into the kitchen.” Any time a character is at home, especially at night, it seems the only way they are able to walk is by padding. Makes me weary. 🙂
A solid addition to the list, Linda. Thanks!
Found a phrase used in fanfic quite often: “worried her lip.” As poetic as it seems, her lips have don’t have bills to pay. Now chewing/biting/nipping her bottom lip from worry? Muy bueno.
Karen, you could always slip in the phrase, “She nodded, like a bobblehead.”
Ah, but using “from worry” is telling, Sarah. And Webster’s does define worry as: “to bite at or upon.” So it does work. In moderation. The problem would be if everyone in the book was doing that action. Over and over. Unless, of course, they’re zombies. In which case, they wouldn’t have much in the way of lips left to worry!
As long as they have teeth, they’re golden.
Guilty of all those smiles, laughs, nods, looks, gazes, and stares. Thanks for the timely reminders, Karen. Lazy writing is okay on the first draft, but it’s so easy to go on being lazy. Looking forward to your next post!
And you know what? I find that when we become aware of these things, our first drafts grow stronger. Love that about studying and refining the craft.
One over-used word I’ve caught myself using is “flashed”–not in the exposure sense, but thus: “She flashed him a look.” “Her mind flashed to their last encounter.” And of course, when describing a thunderstorm, “the lightning flashed.” If it’s a lengthy storm, how many times can there be other words for flashed?
Great post. Time to engage my “Find” feature!
A tip I heard years ago suggested using Find/Replace for words you know you’re over-using. Find the word, replace all with the word in caps. It will jump out all through the ms., guaranteed.
Ha! If you’d been using it in the exposure sense, THEN it would be unique.
Like the idea of putting the words in all caps. Thanks.
Love it, Karen. All the grinning that goes on in novels creeps me out!
Can we add “quirked” (used as a verb) to your list, too? As in,
“He quirked an eyebrow.”
“She quirked her lips.”
Arrrrgggghhhh!
Laura, “quirked” is a definite must for the list. Again, fine to use once, maybe even twice in a manuscript. But more than that? I’d have to quirk a lip in disgust.
Here’s a new one I discovered in a novel I just finished:
“notched,” as in, “She notched her chin” (instead of saying “she looked up or “she lifted her head”)
Chin-notching sounds painful. Or like some kind of new age plastic surgery.
I thought snicker was a candy bar.
I quit smiling after my last rejection.
The gaze I have all the time – I think I’ve developed atrophied eye muscles.
Great blog- can’t wait for next week!! Also as always I inhaled the comments which were awesome (a very overused word).
Beverly, I agree. My favorite part of the blogs is reading everyone’s thoughts and comments. Thanks, everyone!
Oh, man, this post sent my mind into overdrive.
I have yet to think of myself as a wordsmith. I may write and fall into the definition listed, but I’m too hard on myself to even consider myself a wordsmith. I guess I should lighten up and give myself grace, but that may take time since I let out an Hmph, when reading the first line of the post. Or maybe it’s because I know some wordmasters, well I think they’re wordmasters, and they blow my mind while I’m still a Padawan.
For me this topic comes down to execution. I’m working on going deeper with my emotions and practicing to convey them in a way that isn’t cliché. Allowing myself to do that and get raw doesn’t come naturally to me and the challenge leaves me feeling inadequate in such a competitive industry that needs stellar writing pretty much from the get go. But I’m extremely disciplined and good at practicing not matter how long it takes to complete a goal to my satisfaction. So with that said, I’m looking forward to this series 🙂
Jenelle, there’s a difference between being a word master and a wordsmith. Remember Webster’s definition: “a craftsman or artist whose medium is words.” When you work with words, you’re a wordsmith. And you’re working with words. Becoming a word master is the goal of wordsmiths. Some are there with little effort. The rest of us just need to keep digging deeper into the craft and being more purposeful about things like word choice. 🙂
Karen,
How gracious of you to comment back to us. That was really kind.
🙂
Karen, in real life I do nod a lot. so in my memoir I nod – a lot. I’ve also been know to smirk on occasion, but I never giggle or snicker not in real life and not in my writing.
– your fellow wordsmith
Just keep in mind that real life is seldom a good basis for our writing. Think about dialogue. If we used real-life dialogue in our books our readers would be snoozing. When you depict something with words, even if it’s someone out of your own life and experiences, you still need to write it in a way that will draw readers in and not become tedious.
This is just me, but I think all semi-colons, howevers, althoughs, therefores, and additionallys need to be removed from all middle-grade and YA children’s books.