I’ll be the first to admit that rejection doesn’t feel good, so how can it be good?
Well, a rejection:
…allows you to close the door and move on to the next opportunity.
…shows that the other person doesn’t share your enthusiasm enough to be your partner. Learning this allows you the freedom to find the right partner.
…may be a sign of God’s will. His plans are better than you imagined, for both you and the the other party.
If you are rejected, allow yourself a limited time to grieve. Then press on. Life is short, so don’t delay. Keep trying.
Your turn:
What thoughts can you add about rejection?
When were you, in hindsight, grateful for a rejection?
You Are Not Alone
Oooh, where to start…I think rejection (at first) was a little easier for me to handle because I was so new to the industry. I didn’t expect someone to gush over my work initially, and offer me a once in a lifetime contract.
Rejection hurt a little more after I cleaned up my manuscript. But once I let the moment pass, I found new determination to improve my writing skills and start yet another re-write. I’m one to set the bar high anyway, so rejection only fuels the fire for me.
Finally, in reality, finding that perfect agent and/or editor is similar to dating…the writer is asking for that chance, if he/she is rejected, it’s time to move on–God has that special plan in mind, only it’s a little farther down the road. 🙂
Dear Tamela:
I own a British shoppe and tea room. I see salesmen all the time. And I just came back from the NY NOW show. (gift show). I saw many fabulous things. Not all were right for my business right now.
When a rep drops in full of enthusiasm I have to look and really decide if I need it (whatever it may be) and where it will go and if I can afford it. I may love it but may have to say no.
My point is that no sometimes just isn’t as personal as we make it out to be. As a writer I have had a lot of ‘no’s’. I equate my rejection to my own attitude when selecting merchandise for my business.
And of course I need to get better. But shouldn’t that just be the ongoing scheme of things? To keep growing and improving?
We all want the perfect fit. And you are right, God has the upper hand and will make the perfect fit.
So when some one hears no they should think next.
Thank you for all your thoughts.
Warm regards,
Jacqueline Gillam Fairchild
Her Majesty’s English Tea Room
Author: The Tuck You Inn Series
Rejection can also let us know that we aren’t there yet – that we’re not ready, and there’s still work to do.
I have gotten back some great advice through a rejections before. It didn’t feel good to get rejected, but I was thankful they took the time to enlighten me.
Boy, can I attest to rejection may be God saying not yet, not here. My work started going to committee 8 years ago! Every time it was rejected. Then it went to pub board, but the editor retired and her hard drive was wiped clean. It doesn’t take a physicist to figure out God’s got His hand in this. LOL But when you finally get the “YES!” it’s so worth the wait. You realize God has chosen the right place. And who knows, you might be a blessing to them. Well, it’s possible.
Ane, you are an inspiration!
A runner might assume he’s fast enough to win Saturday’s race and slack off on training. There’s nothing like coming in 4th or 5th (or 10th or 12th!) to drive home the point you need to train more and become better. The same is true with writing.
Years ago, my first article submission to a magazine was accepted and published. I assumed writing for publication was easy. But several rejections in a row burst that bubble and taught me that you can’t coast in writing. You have to learn more, try harder , become better to compete.
Barry,
So true.
L.
I never understood this sentiment before I started sending queries and letters of proposal. I thought everyone would love my work–how could they not? It didn’t take long before I faced the reality that not everyone had my same vision. At first I hated it, but now I’ve come to embrace it.
The sooner I go through my rejections, the closer I am to meeting “the one” who understands me and the mission God has for me. If I believe God has a purpose for each of our lives (and I do), then it only makes sense if he’s blessed me with a story to tell, he has a plan for that story.
While I want the process to go quickly, I know it will take as long as it needs. Thanks, Tamela, for your kind reminder of whose purpose are I need to meet.
For me, the toughest rejections are the ones where your ms has gone to the publishing committee, sometimes multiple times, and then you get a form rejection letter. The good of that? Well, after it happened to one ms, I went for a long hike, accomplished my second completion of he Appalachian Trail and wrote an account of completing it north and south, one of only a handful of women to do it. But those rejections still sting.
In the writing world, often times rejection is not a rejection of the person so much as a pass on the offering. There’s such a difference, and it’s important to remember this when submitting an ms. It makes the sting a little easier to bear.
Some rejections have kept me out of a bad situation (non-writing). Though it hurt in the moment, being spared from a bad situation made it easier to deal with. 🙂
Great post!
Rejection. It’s growing pains. In the writing industry, rejection has shown me that I want to press forward with educating myself more about the craft and how the process to publication works. Rejection didn’t scare me off. It made me more serious. That is passion.
Recently, I had a rejection experience I was grateful for! Last month I applied for a part-time job as a Library Assistant at my old high school. Everything about the job was perfect; the hours, pay, and books and kids are my thing! I praised the Lord for showing me this perfect job! 2 weeks ago, I got a lovely rejection letter telling that I didn’t even make the cut to get an interview. Uh, don’t they know how perfect I am for this perfect job? Lord, what happened? I need to work and this job is perfect in so many ways.
My wonderful husband, who works in the same school district told me to not take it personal, which I didn’t, because with jobs like that the administrator usually has someone already in mind or they hire within, but have to post it on the job board for legal reasons. Fine, ok, but still…
Getting rejected from that perfect job showed me how much I want to take this school year off from working and put that time into my writing. Something I haven’t ever be able to do before. After praying for courage, I talked to my husband about this and after almost 2 weeks of talking and praying, together, he said that I can wait to see what his September pay check is like and then we’ll go from there. He admitted that God has always provided for our needs and we believe He always will. So we’ll see come the end of September if I go work or stay at home this school year…. 🙂
That’s a true walking in faith. I hope you’re able to stay home and write more, Jenelle!
Jeanne, thank you very much! I’m coming up on my 10 year anniversary of my writing journey and haven’t had an opportunity to give it so much time. Maybe that can be my gift, haha!
I understand the agent’s/publisher’s need to streamline the rejection process. Form rejections don’t bother me. What does seem unkind is the “if-you-don’t-hear-from-us-in-8-weeks-consider-us-not-interested” policy. In this day of instant communication I think a one-sentence form rejection is better than the open-ended waiting game. Once an agent or publisher knows they won’t be taking on the project, I feel they should zip off an email (form rejection).
Having said that, I do see rejection as leading to growth and growth is always good.
http://www.sueraatjes.blogspot.com
I like your positive way of looking at rejection. Rejection can hurt like crazy, but it caused me to take my ministry to the next level and help those who needed it more.
I think rejection is in my blood. I come from years of upper management sales and we told the sales people to continue to make contact because in our business it took 8 contacts to make a sale and the average person stopped at 3. I only wish it took 8 rejections to sell a novel but it could be easily 80. The trick is to never stop. Each rejection gets you closer to the goal. A mystery writer who is doing well told me had 400 rejections before she found “the one”. Stick to it.
Each “no” gets me one step closer to “yes” – at least that’s what I tell myself.
Tamela,
First allow me to complain.
I am sick of rejection. rejection. rejection. It’s Hurtful, at times demeaning and it chips away at my faith. I’m not only referring to the form letters beginning with “Unfortunately…” or “We do not accept…” I’m talking about tearing up the submission, and stuffing it an envelop and sending it back.
Last year I submitted a proposal to Writer’s Edge and Christian Manuscript Submission. The latter dis not respond but Writers Edge responded with a scathing criticism that was so helpful. It was like taking a class. I put everything aside, finished my degree then picked it up again. I did a virtual re-write line by line. I am grateful to WE for the feedback.
Blessings,
L.