All literary agents receive dozens of proposals each week. Most are via email these days, but some still come via the post. Last week was a relatively slow week; my office received only 28 unsolicited proposals via email and two in the post. For the month of June, it was around 170 total unsolicited proposals received. (Unsolicited means proposals that are not from our existing clients. We get a number of these each week too.) The above numbers do not count those received by Tamela, Bob, Dan, Megan, or Lynette. By the way, the picture above is not from my office! I am far less tidy.
I did a quick look at last week’s submissions, which have not yet been reviewed. They include three memoirs, a book explaining the end times, a nonfiction book on righteousness, a book on the nature of sin, and twenty-one novels.
The sheer variety is a bit daunting.
Fortunately, this week didn’t have any head-shaking submissions. But in the past, there have been myriad email submissions that simply ignore our posted guidelines regarding email submissions, such as “Please do not copy and paste your entire manuscript into the body of your email.” Yes, it happens frequently. Certainly, some agencies ask that the material be pasted in the body of the email, but we don’t. (Email fonts on the receiving end are not a writer’s friend.) That is why a writer researches each agency’s guidelines and customizes their approach.
Authors will fail to attach their proposal or sample chapters to an email but instead send a link to some cloud-based service. No one in our offices will click a link from an unvetted source, so those authors’ proposals will be unread.
Despite saying we don’t represent poetry, I once received a PDF attachment with 900 pages of poetry in it. Nine hundred. Recently, I rejected someone’s poetry collection; and they responded with a bewildered email.
One poor soul failed to proofread their email before sending the following sentence: “I would like to send you my quarry letter.”
Head-shaking submissions include writers who find our name in a directory somewhere and pick up the phone and call without doing their research. I once received a call that went something like this:
Agency: This is the Steve Laube Agency …
Caller: What kind of agency are you?
Agency: We are a literary agency.
Caller: What does that mean?
Agency: It means we represent books to publishers on behalf of our clients and manage our clients’ careers.
Caller: Oh good. I do comic strips … and they are really unique… [caller’s voice gets faster and louder as they talk]
Agency: Well, we don’t represent artists or comic-strip artists.
Caller: But I’m a philosopher too! [further explanation followed]
Agency: Well, we [caller interrupts]
Caller: And I’m also a musician with over 500 songs to my credit.
Agency: Unfortunately, we do not represent musicians at this time.
Caller: But I was named rock musician of the year …
Agency: We’re sorry, but it does not appear that our agency would be a good fit for you.
Caller: You want to listen to my stuff for free on Myspace?
Agency: I don’t see how that would be a good use of our time.
Caller: Someday, someone will discover it and make millions.
Agency: We wish you the best in all your endeavors.
Or the time we received a call from an aspiring author who was a psychic with an “amazing” personal story to tell. Oh, and by the way, they also had two novels written and five children’s books ready and waiting.
Don’t get me wrong! I’m not complaining. What I’m trying to say is that the simple act of reading our blog and following an agency’s guidelines can make you look so much better than those who do not take that time. We’ve written about rejection many times, and no agent takes the process lightly. But a little understanding and self-education would make every writer’s experience when approaching an agent a little more tolerable.
(An earlier version of this post ran in June 2014. Not much has changed.)
The 900-pages-of-poetry dude wasn’t me. I have something over 2500 pages.
There’s such a great variety
in my newest book.
I sent y’all my query;
did you take a good long look?
It’s all about the Amish,
and it has Nazis, too,
and people who by choice can vanish
(it’s fiction, and it’s true!).
It’s deeply philosophic,
and funnier than Poe,
warning of the catastrophic
way this world is sure to go
unless my sage advice is heeded…
see? I am just what you needed!
This reminds of a visit I made years ago to the headquarters of Simon & Schuster in Manhattan. Before we began our meeting, I and my colleagues were offered a tour of the offices. One room we passed had a solitary desk and three or four industrial-size laundry baskets on wheels, which were overflowing with stacks of paper. I asked what that room was all about. “Oh, that’s where we send the unsolicited manuscripts we get every day,” our tour guide replied. “We collect them in there before we take them down to the trash.” Enough said!
People simply don’t read to understand. I’m not a publishing house editor. I’m not an agent. I do freelance editing of children’s picture books and I have 2 blogs; one about my special needs daughter and the other about writing.
I’ve received several inquiries from people wanting me to publish their articles on my blog. None of them are about having a special needs adult or about writing.
Sometimes, I wonder if people are just desperate.
Pam,
I write for a blog that covers games made by Blizzard Entertainment. We’re call Blizzard Watch. You would be amazed at some of the weather related emails we receive.
Ted,
I’ll never forget finding Charles Swindoll’s book “Improving Your Serve” (a book about serving in the church) in the Sports section of a Barnes & Noble.
Sigh.
I remember Chuck saying it actually sold quite well there. 🙂
Oy vey… Some of these stories convince me that I would not be a good person to be a literary agent. I would not have the patience (or the ability to keep a straight face and not laugh my head off) for some of these experiences. I have great respect for those called to this endeavor! And it convinces me to dig extensively into research BEFORE I even think about pitchung.
Being an introvert, these people make me cringe with embarrassment for them and their lack of professionalism.
Loretta,
Exactly. “lack of professionalism.” It’s not that hard to take a measure of effort to present oneself in a professional manner. If an author is serious about being published, be serious about pitching the idea.
Hi, Steve. I so appreciate this post. Having just submitted a proposal, I am grateful for the guidance given on your site about submission of proposals. I don’t think it’ll get a head shaking, though my mind is shaking with the hope of a reply. Blessings on your work and agency.
This post had me laughing outlaid. Liter-ally 😉
Steve,
Does this included proposals sent to Enclave, or is that an entirely different set?
– Ted
(I’m looking forward to hearing you speak next month at Realm Makers in St. Louis!)
Enclave is a separate business entirely. It has its own slush pile and review process, unattached to the agency.
I wonder how many of those scoff-rules have simply grown weary of studiously following the rules never to receive a response to a submission.
Steve…
You have the experience and patience to write a wonderfully humorous book.
It would be a teaching tool, too.
Sincerely, Jan Rogers Wimberley