Some days…those rare, out-of-the-blue, once-in-awhile days…God speaks an amen that reminds me all this is worth it.
This past Saturday was a day like that. I spoke at a writer’s conference and had a delightful time. At the closing sessions I spoke on passion and why we Christian writers do what we do. How the goal can’t be publication, but obedience to the task God has given us. How writing for God is about doing the task with excellence, not achieving some worldly measure of success. How nothing that we do out of obedience to God is ever wasted. How what God asks us to do is write, and what He does with our writing is His call. One gentleman sitting there soaking in every word, nodding, smiling, offering an occasional “amen!” and “It’s all about obedience. That’s right.”
After the sessions were over, I did a few one-on-one meetings. Amen Man came in and sat down, then proceeded to tell me how he’d been trying to get published. He’d written one kind of book and had no luck. So now was wondering what gems of wisdom I had for him to help him get his book published. Otherwise he didn’t want to waste his time.
I leaned forward, elbows on the table, and rested my chin in my hand. “Waste your time…?”
He nodded. “Writing. If it’s not going to be published.”
I frowned a bit and leaned back in my chair. “But…” Maybe this was actually Amen Man’s twin brother? Or some doppleganger who wasn’t there during the session we’d just been in? “Didn’t we just talk about how nothing we do out of obedience to God is wasted.”
He stared at me. Blinked. Then shook his head. “Well, yeah, sure. But why would I write if my book isn’t going to be published?”
I shrugged. “You’ll have to ask God. If He’s given you the task to write, only He can tell tell you why.”
Now he was frowning at me. “Then what’s the point?”
I angled a look at him. “Let me ask you something. Why are you writing?”
“To be published.”
“Not because God asked you to write.”
“Yeah. Sure. That. But so I can be published.”
Oh dear. This wasn’t going at all well. I leaned forward again. “But don’t you see? God has asked you…to write.” I said the rest as gentle as I could: “That doesn’t mean you’ll be published.”
Silence again. “But then I’m not a success.”
“In whose eyes?”
This time his eyes widened a bit, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. Not because I had to be right, but because I so wanted him to understand.
“In whose eyes? God’s?”
He went still. I thought for a heartbeat he was going to push back, stand, and walk out. Instead, with a deep exhale, he relaxed for the first time since he sat down. He studied the table for a moment, then lifted his eyes back to me. “In my eyes. I wouldn’t be a success in my eyes.”
I held my breath. Waited.
“Wow.” He stared at the table again. Shook his head. And let out another sigh. “Wow, that’s…wrong. Isn’t it?”
I relaxed now. “Wrongheaded, maybe.”
“You know, when you talked about obedience and writing because that’s what He asked us to do…I agreed. Or I thought I did. But I think maybe…”
“What?”
Me met my eyes. “I think I need to adjust my view on what success is.”
He said it quiet-like. Thoughtful. And I could tell he meant it. Really meant it.
He stood and held out his hand. “Thanks.”
I stood and took his hand, then gave him a hug. “Keep writing, okay?”
He gave me a grin that was like the sun bursting through a thundercloud. “Until He tells me to stop.”
Yup. Some days, some rare, out-of-the-blue days, God speaks an amen. And the sound of it…
Is glorious.
Ned Ryerson and the Startled Rodent
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Love this, Karen! Love that you were able to be the vessel of truth in his life – and in a lot of our lives as well! The first book I wrote will never get published, and I thank God for that now. At the time, not so much… 🙂
I became a Christian the summer I was 12. That same summer, God told me I would write a book for Him. I had never really written anything before then, but that’s when I started writing.
Bad poetry at first, and bad stories, and then better poetry, and better stories. Always seeking the ‘holy grail’ of publication, primarily as a way of affirming my value as a human being and a writer.
I hung out on AOL, back in the day, when social media was brand new, and was internet friends with lots of folks who are now well-known names in Christian writing/publishing (including Karen Ball). I had published authors offering to introduce me to their agents/editors, because they liked my work, but it wasn’t time yet.
Then came the dry spell. Ten years with almost no writing being done at all, other than journal-ling my emotional healing journey.
In 2011, I looked at God and said: “I heard you wrong. You said *write,* but I don’t remember ever hearing you say *publish.* That was my word.” And I gave him back the dream he’d given me, of writing a book for him, I gathered my short stories that I’d written in the 90s, and started compiling them to make a Christmas gift for my friends.
And God gave me back the dream I’d given back to him, gifting me with more story ideas, and ideas on how the stories should be compiled, and the assurance that He did intend for me to publish. He even reminded me of Steve & Karen, names I’d not thought of in at least a decade. My submission made it past Karen’s assistant and to Karen’s actual desk, which was all the affirmation I needed (it didn’t fit their needs, which I knew it wouldn’t. But it made it to her desk, and that was sufficient for me).
I chose to self-publish, because there’s not a large market for short stories by unknowns. I’m not writing to make a living, or to have a hobby. I write because I’m a writer. I write because God told me to write, and He hasn’t told me to stop yet. I write because He gives me story ideas and words that touch hearts and open people’s understanding of how deep is the love He has for us.
I write because I can’t not write. And each successive story is better than the one that preceded it, and each book has elements in it that are far beyond my poor skills as a wordsmith, proving to me once again that the books are His, not mine.
I may never be traditionally published. I’m OK with that. The rest of the world may never know my name. I’m OK with that. But I’m being faithful, and I’m touching hearts, and God is pleased. That’s what matters. In the long run, that’s all that matters.
Mary, thank you so much for sharing this. I see my own desire to serve God in your words, “He gives me story ideas and words that touch hearts and open people’s understanding of how deep is the love He has for us.” Self-published is published, and the words He’s given you are out there doing His work already. You are indeed being faithful and touching hearts. I’m certain God is pleased.
Very thought-provoking post, Karen! What I’ve come to realize since my first book was published in 2013 is that I was not called to write to reach other people for God, but so He could reach ME. He speaks to me most clearly through my own stories–often I come back and realize that I’ve written the message I most need to hear, even if I didn’t realize it at at the time. How’s that for humbling?
Having my work touch other people is a wonderful blessing and it’s the reason I continue to publish, but it’s not the reason I WRITE.
Trust me, that realization came as a bit of a shock…
Sometimes God speaks with a hammer 🙂 Thanks. I needed to hear this today.
I know God has called me. But I think I am afraid I will prove that I am not really a writer to my world if I can’t write a book. Not true. I know.
Thank you for this, Karen. The need to let God be the judge of your success doesn’t stop when you get the publishing contract. My first book was released this week. The night before the big day my husband was admitted to the hospital, so I couldn’t be nearly as engaged in the release of my book as I had planned. And the “stress” over how many books will sell is there as well. That’s something I can only do my part for, and whatever is out of my control is up to God.
I have to believe everything I have done is out of obedience, and leave the rest to Him.
Thanks for the great reminder! Each day I try to stay focused on what He has set before me but I do get easily caught up in the notion of “success.”
What a beautiful moment. I wish I had been there.
Thank you for sharing this, Karen. Good message.
Love you!
I love this. I’ve never read or seen someone else make this point – being published is always the main goal. For as long as I can remember I’ve been writing because I’ve had to. It was as simple as breathing in and out. It’s not a hobby, not a job, but a part of life that has to be explored, nurtured and developed. What began as an escape from my reality to my created world turned into a passion that refuses to be extinguished. I write poetry, screenplays, short stories, children’s stories, write for my company’s website, and in the last few years started writing novels. I was even blessed to have one get published – and I never intended for it to be published in the first place! God decided to use the story to make an impact on the lives of a few. My novel didn’t end up on any best-seller’s lists, and it didn’t make me a million dollars, but it gave me something so much greater: strangers approached me after reading the book just to give me a hug and say “thank you” for giving them a voice. People who feared addressing difficult areas of their lives read the book, and later said it gave them a whole new perspective on who God is – a loving father and friend, and not just a big man upstairs holding a stick. I’ll write the rest of my life if it means I’ll get more moments like those. Writing for HIS glory, not mine, makes every $6.00 paycheck totally worth it. Because it means one more person might have a softer heart, or a more open mind, or a closer relationship with God, because of what I wrote. Thanks for the reminder Kathy, and God bless you for continuing to speak the truth in love to others!
That was meant to read Karen – I just finished speaking to my friend Kathy! It’s clearly far too late. 😉
God’s Perfect timing!
So I guess I keep on writing. I was tempted to give it up and learn how to become a concert pianist. Not that I play the piano. LOL
I quitee like looking through a post that
will make men annd women think. Also, thank you for permitting me
to comment!
Thank you for reminding us it’s about God’s purpose for our life. If he’s called us to write, we should do it for his glory first and foremost. If we desire to be published and we give it our best, God will make a way for that to happen.