Today is President’s Day in the U.S. Originally established in 1885 as a recognition of George Washington’s birthday (February 22), it was later expanded to include Abraham Lincoln (February 12) and all other U.S. presidents.
Over the centuries, there have been some amusing statements by various U.S. presidents. While you read them, think of how you might work humor into your nonfiction or your novel in a way that surprises the reader with a smile, but also stays with the character of your book or story.
“If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: ‘President Can’t Swim.'” – Lyndon Johnson
“When they call the roll in the Senate, the senators do not know whether to answer ‘present’ or ‘not guilty.’” – Theodore Roosevelt
“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln
“I have often wondered what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.” – Ronald Reagan
“These stories about my intellectual capacity are really getting under my skin. For a while, I thought even my staff believed it. There on my schedule, first thing every morning, it said, ‘Intelligence briefing.’” – George W. Bush
“No man who ever held the office of president would congratulate a friend on obtaining it.” – John Adams
“Washington D.C. is twelve square miles bordered by reality.” – Andrew Johnson
“Thomas Jefferson once said, ‘We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.’ And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying.” – Ronald Reagan
“Give me a one-handed economist! All my economists say, ‘On the one hand … on the other.” – Harry Truman
“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.” – Abraham Lincoln
“I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.” – Gerald Ford
“I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of a national emergency–even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting.” – Ronald Reagan
“I do not like broccoli and I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I’m president of the United States and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli.” – George H.W. Bush
[By the way, this is not a post about politics, nor is this blog a place to voice political opinions. Please keep to the topic of writing and not the politics of your country of residence or elsewhere. Thanks!]
Presidents, premiers and kings
stroll by in panoply.
Our thoughts give some angel-wings
so bright that we can hardly see
their shrinking desperation
at the honour that is theirs,
with the fate of a loved nation
as the burden of their cares.
Others we will demonize
to the limits of our bile,
of which we won’t economize
for hate is never out of style,
refusing what God knows is true,
that they are men like me and you.
As with movies and books, the memorable quote is what makes it last. Some of my fondest memories with my mom are laughing at favorite quotes from books.
The final book in the Harry Potter series – “Not my daughter you (female dog)!”
The Ladies of Missalonghi – “Then you may count yourself unlucky that I am not too much of a lady to tell you exactly what I think you are.”
Batman the movie (1966) – “Blast! The batteries are dead.”
I’ve never read a funny quote by an unhappy person.
I’m glad that extends to presidents, too.
Brad, that’s genius.
Brad, Wow. You’ve nailed it.
Thanks, Steve.
Making powerful and memorable characters through their words and speeches will be worth it!
Blessings.