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Helping to Change the World…Word by Word

The Steve Laube Agency

The Steve Laube Agency

Helping to Change the World Word by Word

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Home » Humor

Humor

Pet Peeves

By Dan Balowon December 1, 2022
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Pet peeves. We all have them, and we all do things that are pet peeves for others. How about starting a blog post with a two-word sentence, which isn’t a sentence? Anyone? Bueller?

My Pet Peeves

On one hand, I am like everyone else. I don’t like repetitive tapping or spam phone calls late at night. Those are the easy ones.

I am also incredibly annoyed by bicyclists who never, ever observe any kind of traffic law. I’ll bet 99% of bicyclists have no idea of the hand signal for a stop. In fact, stop signs are translated “Go faster.” One of these days I am going to have an anxiety attack if I see someone on a bicycle hand-signal a right turn properly.

People who say, “I could care less.” Really? What are you trying to communicate?

People who pronounce the word important as “impor-ant.” There’s a “t” in there for a reason, because “imporant” is not a word. (If the Scrabble app rejects it, the word doesn’t exist.)

People who indicate a quantity of something by writing or saying “over” a certain number and the number is specific.

“He wrote over 17 books.” Really? So was it 18? Why not just give the number? Combining “over” and a number should be used to indicate something over a big general number, usually with a zero at the end or when using a word like “dozen.”

Literary agents have publishing pet peeves too. Probably over seven or eight.

Publishing/Agenting Pet Peeves

Writers who can’t think of anything to write about. You have all of history, the entire world, the universe, eternity, an infinite God, and the complexity of life itself. I can see how you would run out of things to write about.

Book proposals emailed to 47 (or “over 46”) agents at once. I know it is 47 because all their emails are in the “To” field, similar to sending out a mass mailing of your resume. Agents see this and within a few moments, hit the delete button. This email is not for anyone in particular, so it isn’t for me. This peeve also holds true for seeing my name in the “Cc” or “Bcc” field.

“My friends told me I should write a book. So, here it is.” Honestly, unless your friends are currently employed by a traditional book publisher in an acquiring position, you shouldn’t put a lot of stock in their opinions. Traditional book publishers make decisions based on different information than your friends.

Finally, the number one pet peeve in publishing? Readers.

Author did everything right. Good message and writing; solid platform; a well-crafted proposal that is purchased by a publisher, who does everything in their control to publish well. The book doesn’t sell as planned because readers didn’t resonate with it.

If we can get robots to clean the floors and mow the lawns, why can’t we program them to buy our books and like them?

Humans. Sigh.  (Great, I devolved to one-word sentences now.)

 

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Category: Agents, Humor

Labor Day Holiday

By Steve Laubeon September 5, 2022
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Today the U.S. celebrates Labor Day as a national holiday. It’s a perfect day to make and eat popcorn, a favorite snack! Enjoy this insightful video with the Muppets Swedish chef attempting to make enough for everyone.

Read moreLabor Day Holiday
Category: HumorTag: Humor, Labor Day

Mysteries of the English Language

By Bob Hostetleron August 3, 2022
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I love the English language. It’s been very good to me. But it can be a booger too. For example, you know that a slim chance and a fat chance are the same, right? And a wise man and a wise guy don’t mean the same thing? It’s a crazy language. And those who must learn it as a second language face many strange twists and turns—as do those of us who try to speak and write with something resembling …

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Category: Humor, Language

A Writer’s Entrance Exam

By Bob Hostetleron March 17, 2022
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Say you wanted to enroll in studies at a respected educational institution—let’s call it Wisenheimer Academy for Clever Kids. You might expect to take an entrance exam to determine your degree of fitness for WACK, right? Just as you would to begin training for ministry, law enforcement, or interplanetary space travel. Oddly, though, there is no entrance exam for writers. Until now. That’s right. …

Read moreA Writer’s Entrance Exam
Category: Humor, The Writing Life

Happy Valentine’s Day

By Steve Laubeon February 14, 2022
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Today is a fun day to celebrate that special someone in your life. My wife and I have been married for over 40 years now, and the video below is a tribute to her. No, she knows I do not and cannot dance; but videos like this make me feel like I can. Happy Valentine’s Day! Go-make someone-you-love-smile day.

Read moreHappy Valentine’s Day
Category: Humor

21 Latin Phrases Every Writer Should Know

By Steve Laubeon February 11, 2022
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15 Latin Phrases Every Writer Should Know

Persona Non Grata
“An unwelcome person” (lately defined by some as a literary agent)
Habeas Corpus
“You have the body”  (The legal right to appear before a judge.)
Cogito Ergo Sum
“I think, therefore I am.” For a writer it would be "Sribo ergo sum"
E Pluribus Unum
“Out of many, one”
Quid Pro Quo
"This for that" or in other words, “You …

Read more21 Latin Phrases Every Writer Should Know
Category: Fun Fridays, HumorTag: Humor, Latin, Trivia

Singing the Slushpile Blues

By Steve Laubeon August 30, 2021
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by Steve Laube

The unsolicited pile of proposals in my office (aka "the slushpile) taunts me every day.

"Come over here!" it says, tantalizing me with immanent possibilities. I say to myself, "Maybe it will be the next one I look at. That will be 'The One.'"

I've been told that many of you enjoy hearing some of the offbeat letters or intriguing proposals I see. Here is a sampling from …

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Category: Book Proposals, Creativity, HumorTag: Humor, slushpile

O I C, U C?

By Bob Hostetleron May 20, 2021
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I’ve been a fan of James Taylor (he of “Fire and Rain” and “Carolina on My Mind” fame) since I first heard “Don’t Let Me Be Lonely Tonight” on the radio at a particularly lonely time in my life. That’s a story for another time; we won’t get into it right now. But from that day I bought or stole every album he ever released. On his 1979 release, Flag, he included a song titled “B.S.U.R. …

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Category: Humor, Inspiration

President’s Day – 2021

By Steve Laubeon February 15, 2021
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Today is President’s Day in the U.S. Originally established in 1885 as a recognition of George Washington’s birthday (February 22), it was later expanded to include Abraham Lincoln (February 12) and all other U.S. presidents. Over the centuries, there have been some amusing statements by various U.S. presidents. In honor of today’s holiday, I thought I’d compile a few from the Internet for your …

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Category: Humor

The Writing Life Compared

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon January 7, 2021
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As Soon as Your Book Is Published (Unpublished Author Edition) Your hair will become fuller, lusher, and shinier. You will only write a thousand words a day to make a million dollars a year. You’ll be a bestselling author, and every book will float to the top of the charts. You will be the most popular author at writers conferences. Aspiring authors will fawn over you, keen for your wisdom. You …

Read moreThe Writing Life Compared
Category: Humor, The Writing Life
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