Seven years ago, I played a joke on this blog, and far too many fell for it (and a few were offended). This time, I am going to tell you it is a joke ahead of time and ruin the surprise. This is known as a day when satire like this is okay.
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A New Chapter Begins: The Steve Laube Agency Acquired
After much prayer, consideration, and a surprising number of Zoom calls involving people who used the word “synergy” unironically, The Steve Laube Agency is pleased to announce that we have been acquired by a leading artificial intelligence company.
Effective immediately, all book proposals will be evaluated by a proprietary algorithm known as Prophet™, which can determine, within 0.8 seconds, whether your manuscript has “market resonance,” “platform viability,” and “just enough controversy to trend.”
Key changes include:
- All submissions must now be uploaded in both Word format and “emotionally optimized metadata.”
- Query letters will be scored for “narrative confidence” and “authorial charisma.”
- Our contracts will now include a clause allowing your future books to be prewritten by AI, based on your “core voice profile.”
We remain committed to representing authors, though we admit some of them may now be partially synthetic.
We look forward to this exciting future, where publishing meets predictive analytics and where every book has already been A/B tested before it is written.
Warm regards,
Steve (and the Overseer Algorithm)
Happy April Fool’s Day!
