Rejection is a fact of life. Especially the writing life. As one crusty publishing veteran said:
“Welcome to the industry that will break your heart.”
Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy, doesn’t it? But let me put a little perspective on it.
I admire writers. You put your souls on a few pages and send them to strangers and pray for acceptance. How do you do that, day in and day out for your entire career? And then, how do you maintain any sort of sanity and dignity in the process?
Some claim that the day their book hits the shelves or is posted on Amazon.com they no longer have to worry about rejection because they are now a Published Author.
Think again.
When that author goes into a local bookstore and fails to find their book, is that rejection?
Or could it be that the store is in-between order cycles and yours is sold out?
Or what happens if your book is hard to find online?
Does it mean the retail marketplace hates your writing and refuses to carry your titles?
What if you only get 3-star reviews online?
What if your book gets panned in a review in Publisher’s Weekly or The Gospel Coalition?
Does it mean the end of your dreams? Are you through before you even begin?
Let’s back up to the very beginning of the process.
When an agent says no with a rejection letter that turns out to be a standard form letter, is that bad? Hardly.
As an agent, I receive dozens of unsolicited proposals each week. The standard letter is a practical necessity. When possible, we try to add a personal comment of some sort; but it is rare. When you receive something specific from an agent or an editor in a rejection letter, treasure it like gold. There is no obligation for them to say anything at all in reply to you.
But what about a one-on-one meeting with an editor or an agent at a writers conference? Around 25 years ago, I sat with Cec Murphey (co-author of the bestselling book 90 Minutes in Heaven) in a hotel lobby and for an hour he pitched ideas at me. I rejected every single one of them.
His response? “I love this! I can bounce all sorts of ideas off of you and you are honest with me. No patronizing! How refreshing.” He was the consummate professional seeing it as a brainstorming opportunity, not a success or failure exercise.
Five years later he pitched just the right idea that turned into a two-book deal with Bethany House (The God Who Pursues and The Relentless God).
Not every rejection is laden with negative connotations. Sometimes it just isn’t right at that time. The industry tends to cycle. In the mid-2000s, few publishers wanted historical novels; they only wanted chick-lit or other contemporary stories. Within a few years, the pendulum swung the opposite direction; and we were getting calls and requests for historical fiction. The wind keeps shifting.
John B. Olson tells the story of his first writers conference where I boldly declared in an evaluation of his story, “I wouldn’t touch that with a 60-foot pole!” At the same conference, Karen Ball, also an acquisitions editor, tracked him down to talk to him about it. About ten years later the same novel was represented by our agency and sold to Karen who was working for B&H Fiction at the time. That initial rejection was the right decision because the market wasn’t ready for his novel Shade at that time. To further make this story interesting. In John’s proposal, the one Karen bought for B&H, Shade was actually proposed as book three in a trilogy. With many brainstorms and creative thinking, it became the first book in the trilogy. (And by the way, Shade was a finalist in the 2009 Christy Awards for the best novel of the year in the speculative fiction category.)
Ask any editor or agent about the “one that got away.” We have all rejected a book or an author that ended up being a wild success. I asked this of an editor-friend who remembered a meeting at the pub board where everyone looked at one another around the table and laughed. “Talking vegetables? What a silly idea.” And that group of successful publishing executives rejected VeggieTales.
Over the past few decades as an editor and agent, I have dozens of infamous rejection stories. It has even become somewhat of a punch line. All the great writers have experienced rejection at one time or another. But the professional realizes that it isn’t personal. They knuckle down and try again. That is why it is called “work.” If it was easy, anyone could do it.
(An earlier version of this post was published in 2014.)
Fun Fridays – August 12, 2022
Dan,
I remember your proposal and congrats on finding an agent and a publisher so quickly! May you ANOTHER one of my “ones who got away” stories. 🙂
Thank you for your kind comments!
To add to that conference story? In the faculty meeting each teacher introduced themselves, “Hi. My name is… and I work for…(or) my latest book is titled…” and then many added “And I was rejected by Steve Laube!” It was very funny. After a dozen of these declarations it was my turn.
I stepped up and said, “Hi. My name is Steve Laube and my rejection is the key to your success!”
It got a huge laugh.
But I took from that a lesson. Each faculty member in that room had experienced multiple rejections in their career. But none took it as a sign to quit. Each knuckled down, worked a little harder, found a different idea, studied some more, etc. And now they were teaching others how to do the same. That is the sign of a pro.
Rejection. “How refreshing.” Another pearl to add to my collection of wise words from Cec Murphey.
Thanks, Steve, for sharing this story.
At end, it’s just a metaphor;
you write, and are rejected,
justify what you do this for,
try not to get dejected.
The time will come, on down the road,
when life will do the same,
shuck you as un-needed load,
and then forget your name,
and you will have to rise each day
beside the dark broad pit,
find the meaning and the way
you can make sense of it,
carry on and live and write,
not going gentle into night.
I subscribed to this series to learn more about how to get published. My experience with my first book was unpleasant. I hoped to benefit from these daily tidbits to make the second one better. Sadly, the more I learn the less enthusiastic I become. No, discouraged is a better word.
Dear Lester,
I asked Jerry Jenkins how long it took until his writing paid the bills. He was brutally honest:
“How long before I went full time freelance? After more than 90 books. VERY few people make a living by writing alone. In fact, probably around 1/10th of 1% of authors. I’ve been very fortunate. What kept me going was how bad I wanted this. But be careful not to sacrifice your family on the altar of your career. You have higher priorities than writing, and your time will come when you can devote more of your day to writing.”
It was hard to hear that, but if I let that discourage me, then I would not be watering the seed the Lord put in my heart. May God bless your journey, brother!!
I think the message here is don’t give up. It isn’t easy, but don’t give up. You gave important things to say, Lester. People need to hear them.
“Let us not grow weary or become discouraged in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap, if we do not give in.” Galatians 6:9.
Don’t give in, Lester. Don’t give up. Try. Learn. Pivot — but keep going. 🙏🏻
Thanks Steve! Im glad I read this article. Regards!
Let rejection hurt for a half hour, no more. Then get back to your word processor. –Jacqueline Briskin
Never assume that a rejection of your stuff is also a rejection of you as a person. Unless it’s accompanied by a punch in the nose. — Ron Goulart
I’ve started the rounds with a book this year that won a contest last year. Does it mean it is easy getting published because you won a contest. No, the publisher got first dibs, but didn’t want the book. I did learn that they like my writing and my story premise. Overall, their tight space limitations proved to have no room for my book. I didn’t fit into what they wanted well enough. I did write well enough that they spent time reading the entire manuscript before making the determination.
That rejection came late Saturday and I actually saw it after church yesterday. What did I do yesterday afternoon, start looking for the next place to pitch, researched it, read the submission guidelines, and edited my proposal. Now to write my query letter specifically for them in hopes it makes them open the proposal and see if I can get as far with them as I did with the other. It’s a game of chance and challenge. Do your research to lessen the challenge, but you still have some chance of good or bad based on timing and a great deal of things out of your control. Pitch anyway because not pitching means NO chance.
And as for my flash fiction. I’m a 40% success for this year. Waiting on the current submission to see if I jump up or fall down in the percentage. Then I’ll see what I can do for the next month’s submission topic and keep on going.
I’ve learned something from every rejection I have received. I would not have learned any of this without trying and some famous authors took over 100 rejections before the book found a home. If they can persevere through that amount of craziness, any of us can. Some day I’ll have a book published, but until then I keep writing and I already know I can publish short things that help my writing.
Thanks for sharing this because its the truth and this is not for the faint of heart.
Hi Steve,
That’s quote-worthy. May I use the following in my presentation at ACFW? (From Story to Manuscript to Published)
“All the great writers have experienced rejection at one time or another. But the professional realizes that it isn’t personal. They knuckle down and try again. That is why it is called “work.” If it was easy, anyone could do it.”
Blessings,
Carrie
Thanks Steve, I enjoyed reading your thoughts regarding the different ways in which debut writers approach a rejection letter. As you pointed out, some may see it as proof of their ineptitude and give up before they begin. While on the other hand, others see it as an opportunity to take notes, dig in, and grow their skill set.
I began writing full-time when I retired in 2019, and already have a fairly large collection of rejection letters. Though instead of seeing these responses as a sign to give up, I remembered to lean heavily on my previous experiences with commission sales. Back in the day, as a real estate agent, I was well-accustomed to being told, “No, thank you.” Interest rates were hovering around 25%, and it was common to make at least a hundred cold calls per day. However, unlike the traditional method of reading a script, (that always turned people off) I approached each call in a way that sounded fresh. Unfortunately, that didn’t always work, and people still used phones where you could slam the receiver down . . . hard.
After many hours in prayer, I realized my heart wasn’t in that line of work and I found my niche in retail sales. As a manager for a high-fashion dress company, trust me when I tell you, it was not a burden to be expected to wear their line of clothing. Each morning, I waited for the delivery truck with anticipation so I could unpack our new arrivals. Despite the complaints from the other managers over the company’s unrealistic sales goals, I saw it as a challenge. Not only did I meet my goals, but I exceeded them. Of course, doing something I loved helped. But I still received more, “No, thank you,” responses from my customers than I can count.
These days, instead of anxiously awaiting the delivery of this season’s dresses, I search my In Box for responses to my queries. So far, my debut project has only received a handful of those boiler-plate style rejection letters. Though, to my delight, sometimes I discover precious nuggets containing bullet points outlining the strengths of my project as well as my areas of opportunity. However, regardless of the positive bullet points, (that I absolutely treasure,) the rejections still hit hard. But thankfully, the years spent in do or die, business model careers, has galvanized me from the feelings of personal rejection that cause many who love writing to believe they are in the wrong field—and just give up.
Thanks for this encouraging post. My writer’s group celebrates both rejections and submissions, not just acceptances. I’ll keep on!
To quote Stephen King, Don’t quit your day job. He didn’t until Carrie was made into a movie. Writing is my real job, but, I have worked as sec guard, cook, dishwasher, trucker, cowhand, and so on. Never ever cut all ties to old jobs, but always work hard. It will translate then to writing. It empowers you. Pray! If you feel trapped by a job, pray for peace and to love the work. Always walk in His beauty.
Steve, you rejected a book of mine several years ago, but that has only made me more determined to fix it! I have spent quite a bit of time working out the kinks in the book and I really appreciate the much-better book that has resulted. The rejection letter was hard but this new-write is a huge improvement.
Hi Steve,
Thanks for this post and for encouraging us in all facets of the publishing process. Rejection is inevitable, in one way, shape, or form. But how we respond to rejection is the difference between success and failure. I appreciate your words of wisdom.
It’s interesting to read this article, especially since I just mailed my book proposal to you today! My wife is an avid reader and she has been a staunch critic of my writing since I started a couple of years ago. I find that her criticism makes me want to write better; but just to please her but because her criticisms, for the most part, make sense. As a new author, I wasn’t completely ready to face rejection of what I am writing but I knew it was a distinct possibility going forward. So I take the premise, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
Thanks, Steve, for today’s message on rejection. It’s tough and part of the process. I’ve been told agents reject 97% and editors reject 98%. We must keep believing and persevering. In my office, I have a collection of colorful stationery both form and personal letters from my thirty five year writing journey. It’s been hard and lonely, but I’ve now become an award winning children’s author. I was thrilled to read about the nine talking fruits of the spirit and Indigo because Leo partnered with me on my Push and Peek novelty books twenty four years ago. I worked with Chris and Steve McAdam who created the “pose-able books” with flexible arms and legs for Multnomah. According to the article in Publishers Weekly, May 18, 1998 they sold 1.2 million copies in eight months. What an amazing success story for a Christian book publisher especially because others had laughed at the idea. I’ll be sending you a package with my Push and Peek books along with a fruits and veggie picture book. It’s healthy and yummy, but doesn’t have arms or legs. Hope you enjoy!
I love this article. It’s filled with truth. As Jerry Jenkins says, “We must develop a thick skin.” Writing is work, and as you said, rejection is a fact of the writing life.