Rejection is a fact of life. Especially the writing life. As one crusty publishing veteran said:
“Welcome to the industry that will break your heart.”
Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy, doesn’t it? But let me put a little perspective on it.
I admire writers. You put your souls on a few pages and send them to strangers and pray for acceptance. How do you do that, day in and day out…for your entire career? And then, how do you maintain any sort of sanity and dignity in the process?
Some claim that the day their book hits the shelves or is posted on Amazon.com they no longer have to worry about rejection because they are now a Published Author.
Think again.
When that author goes into a local bookstore and fails to find their book…is that rejection?
Does it mean this store hates your writing and refuses to carry your titles?
Or could it be that the store is in-between order cycles and yours is sold out?
What if you only get 3-star reviews online?
What if your book gets panned in a review in “Publisher’s Weekly,” “The New York Times,” or “The Romantic Times Book Review?”
Does it mean the end of your dreams? Are you through before you even begin?
Let’s back up to the very beginning of the process…
When an agent says no with a rejection letter that turns out to be a standard form letter. Is that bad? Hardly.
As an agent I receive dozens of unsolicited proposals each week. The standard letter is a practical necessity. When possible we try to add a personal comment of some sort, but it is rare. When you receive something specific from an agent or an editor in a rejection letter treasure it like gold. There is no obligation for them to say anything at all in reply to you.
But what about a one-on-one meeting with an editor or an agent at a writers conference? Nearly 20 years ago I sat with Cec Murphey (co-author of the bestselling book 90 Minutes in Heaven) in a hotel lobby and for an hour he pitched ideas at me. I rejected every single one of them.
His response? “I love this! I can bounce all sorts of ideas off of you and you are honest with me. No patronizing! How refreshing.” He was the consummate professional seeing it as a brainstorming opportunity, not a success or failure exercise.
Five years later he pitched just the right idea that turned into a two book deal with Bethany House (The God Who Pursues and The Relentless God).
Not every rejection is laden with negative connotations. Sometimes it just isn’t right at that time. The industry tends to cycle. In the mid-2000s few publishers wanted historical novels, they only wanted chick-lit or other contemporary stories. Within a few years the pendulum swung the opposite direction and we were getting calls and requests for historical fiction. Today in mid-2014 we are at that place again where historicals are a tough sell while contemporary settings are the most requested.
John B. Olson tells the story of his first writers conference where I boldly declared in an evaluation of his story, “I wouldn’t touch that with a 60-foot pole!” At the same conference, Karen Ball, also an acquisitions editor, said, “no way” to the proposal. Many years later the same novel was represented by our agency and sold to Karen who was working for B&H Fiction at the time. That initial rejection was the right decision because the market wasn’t ready for his novel Shade at that time. (And by the way, Shade was a finalist in the 2009 Christy Awards for the best novel of the year in the Speculative Fiction category.)
Ask any editor or agent about the “one that got away.” We have all rejected a book or an author that ended up being a wild success. I asked this of an editor-friend who remembered a meeting at the pub board where everyone looked at each other around the table and laughed, “Talking vegetables? What a silly idea.” And that group of successful publishing executives rejected Veggie Tales.
Over the last 22 years as an editor and an agent I have dozens of infamous rejection stories. It has even become somewhat of a punch line. At a recent writers conference they asked the audience for a show of hands indicating if they had been rejected by Steve Laube. Talk about embarrassing.
All the great writers have experienced rejection at one time or another. But the professional realizes that it isn’t personal. They knuckle down and try again. That is why it is called “work.” If it was easy, anyone could do it.
»
In my long journey to publication, I’ve had so many rejections (and a few helpful ones from you) I could wallpaper my office. Hmmm, I might just do that. But one thing I learned is the timing is key and God holds that key. I had confirmation years ago that my writing was ready but doors continued to remain closed. When God’s time came for me, it was exactly right. Isn’t it always? So I urge new writers to factor God into their publishing equation.
Thank you, Ane, for: ‘So I urge new writers to factor God into their publishing equation.’ My shoulders relaxed as I read your comment.
Blessings ~ Wendy ❀
Rejection stings, plain and simple. But as my favorite agent says, “the only writer who fails is the one who quits.” 😀
You rejected me three times before we found the right story and time to seal the deal, and to launch my career. The time span between rejection 3 and the signing of that contract was incredibly hard. But God gave me three “dreams of promise” where you signed me. And then I screamed in your ear. God is good. LOL!
Yours is one of the greatest stories of persistence and of determination. I’m so glad you did.
Am I’m also glad I finally “saw the light.”
My ear is still ringing.
Thank you for this, Steve. It is easy to be immature and missing the learning moments when we experience rejection as writers.
You commented: “When possible we try to add a personal comment of some sort, but it is rare. When you receive something specific from an agent or an editor in a rejection letter treasure it like gold. There is no obligation for them to say anything at all in reply to you.”
May we take your advice and find the treasure of gold in these kinds of responses.
Blessings,
Ed Hird+
http://edhird.com
I still have my Steve Laube Rejection Letter! You were so kind and encouraged me to keep working on my novel. It made all the difference! Thank you.
Thank you. Not everyone receives rejection well. I know I don’t!
Steve
I think I have one or more of those rejection letters from you as an editor in the past…but then, when you became my agent later, you starting placing my book ideas instead of rejecting them. Rejection has always been for me like “sic ’em” to a dog. It just makes me more determined. I hope that stubbornness is a good thing. 🙂 I appreciate you and this post.
Thanks for the great post. I remember you saying you were the key to everyone’s success. :-). I’d like to thank you for the way you conduct yourself. I have never seen you be rude. In the times I’ve met with you and (ahem) been rejected by you or heard you speak at numerous conferences, you were always factual and practical, but I’ve never seen you be unkind or attack someone on a personal level. I’ve always admired you for that reason.
I need to clarify… the phrase “I’m the key to your success” is the punch line to a rather long story/joke to elicit a laugh. Without the story that statement can be read in the wrong way!
Every editor in this industry can make the same claim. We have all rejected hundreds, if not thousands, of authors. Some of those accepted the persevered despite their rejections. And those published authors still remember who said “no” to them back in the day…
Steve
You bring up so many great points here, Steve. As an unagented, unpubbed writer, it’s encouraging to know that timing has a lot to do with an agent’s decision, as well as looking at the writer’s readiness craft-wise. Reading stories of those you rejected is encouraging, and you’re showing me what a positive mindset looks like for facing rejection. Thanks for that!
I’m definitely striving to have the perspective you shared here.
Thanks!
Steve,
Yes, rejection stings, but I use it as a way to push myself to do better. Learning is one thing I never want to stop doing in this business. Truth is there MANY people who are wiser than me when it comes to the industry, so I’m always willing to listen.
I met you at last year’s ACFW conference and sent you a proposal in January. I received a rejection letter the next month, but you were kind enough to suggest improvements. I took your advice, prayed, pushed myself, and since then my proposal has won a contest and two other agents have requested the full manuscript.
Thank you for your honesty and taking the time to write a few suggestions. Much appreciated!
Steve,
Thank you for the encouragement to persevere. I believe God’s timing, like His will, is good and pleasing and perfect. The manuscript, if it’s meant to, will reach readers in God’s timing. Good things are worth waiting for.
Steve,
Rejection is often a sign that one has more work to do. After several rejection letters, I decided to take a step back and reevaluate my projects. I have since learned a lot about the publishing industry. I now realize how much more work needed to go into my current projects. In the meanwhile, I am expanding my social media connections and building platform. I am also building my accreditation through smaller published projects.
Next time, I plan to hit the ground running.
Thanks for your post; it helps to see rejection as a life lesson.