I appreciate the people I interact with on social media. Rarely has anyone been unkind. However, I often see articles about social media behavior with the theme, “Please Be Civil!” and “Stop the Hating!” The writers come from a place of disquiet because they feel harassed when they see unhelpful, angry posts. That’s understandable.
Here is what I try to do to help my social media outlets remain an oasis:
- Avoid hot topics. I “get” that some might think I’m a coward, disingenuous, shallow, or worse, for not stepping into the steamy pot of political goo. But here’s how I see it: offline, I have people to talk to about hot topic issues. We understand each other and can converse when we both agree and disagree. For me, stirring the pot with people I don’t know as well is not productive. So why go there?
- Don’t challenge the debate team. Those spoiling for a fight are the ones who will look “bad” in front of thousands of people by making rude comments aimed at you or your beliefs. They won’t diminish you unless you take the bait. Don’t do it.
- You won’t change anyone’s mind. Whether on or offline, the lure of arguing is that you think you will change hearts and minds. I fell for this trick too many times in my younger years. I’m not sure I ever changed anyone’s mind, but I alienated people, sometimes fracturing relationships beyond repair. Truly, this price is too high for minimal effect.
- Resist jumping into someone else’s argument. Sometimes people commenting on my posts will venture into politics when that was never my intent. I let them have their say, but I stay out of these disputes.
- Don’t hold anyone responsible for statements made by others on their social media. I’m in contact with all types of people, so I might not be in 100% agreement with every response. The older I get, the less offended I become by opposing viewpoints. It’s hard to understand others at times. Looking for offense, both online and off, will guarantee high blood pressure and never peace.
- Remember you are not anonymous. Before posting, ask yourself if you would make the same comment in real life. Your keyboard doesn’t have an invisibility cloak.
Your turn:
How do you keep peace on social media?
Do you disagree with me? I promise not to argue if you do!
Do you like my approach, or do you enjoy the debate on social media?
What tips can you offer?
Write Like Baseball
To many people on Social Media use their keyboards to be bullies. They act and speak in a manner they would never if a human was in front of them.
I keep my circle small for this reason, but it doesn’t solve the problem.
We live in a fallen world. All we can do is to be kind.
Tamela, I agree with your posting. Many people use social media as their personal soap box but I prefer to use it to keep up with rarely-seen friends who live far away. A little civility goes a long way!
I fell off my soapbox long ago and rarely look for it now.
Tamela, I agree completely with your post. I’ve had my share of stepping into ‘goo.’
I like knowing what people think about certain things. It informs me about their worldview, and moreover, whether or not it is a biblical worldview at that.
The stakes are really high when it comes to the kingdom of God. I find that lately, my hot button has been centered around the topic of Bible translations, and when I hear about anything related to that, I am quick to react, finding myself at a crossroads: do I enter the conversation as I see a “friend” walking into what is a sure pit into the ground, risking my own feet stepping into goo?
What I’ve ended up doing is to exclusively display my groups in my feed because it became terribly oppressive to my soul to lurk in the wilderness of opinion and corrosive commentary about the faith. (To think there was a time in ancient history when the world was much worse than it is today. Enough for God to throw it under the sea!)
So now, as I prepare my new homeschool year, I am centered on scrolling through homeschool groups exclusively or writing groups. Those two topics seem safe right now, and add value to my current life focus.
As chapter 1 verse 18 says in Ecclesiastes: “For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.”
The more we know about others and the world, the more we find sorrow.
Continue to cast your light where you can! And let us pray for those who live in sorrow — some don’t even realize it.
This article made me think of “trolling” and how desensitized and detached society has become with social media and the advancements in technology. Everybody’s head is down interacting with mediums rather than each other. I don’t blame technology for societal issues though; the underpinnings of hate and its many forms was engrained in us before we were ever born. Some tend to that hate more than others. Wiser people remember to breathe though the sky seems to be falling.
I think it is better to be still and let the Holy Spirit speak to you before jumping into an online frenzy, or any frenzy for that matter. Choosing words carefully while discerning if those pearls are being cast before swine is obviously necessary. Yet, we need to shine truth on those who need it, especially the young; otherwise, look where they’re turning to.
Wise words, Bryan. Recently I walked with my daughter through a college hallway. Only one person out of about ten wasn’t engaged with a phone. No one looks at each other in passing now. It made me sad.
YES on all your points! There’s so much negativity out there that isn’t necessary, people just looking for a fight. My hope is that by staying positive on social media, I can draw people toward God by making them wonder, “Why’s that girl always happy?” 😉
Exactly, Rebekah!
Great post, Tamela. I’d love to publish it on my Facebook but I’d hate to alienate soapbox-situated friends who disagree! Whew ~ talk about chicken! 😀
I especially appreciate you sharing that you haven’t always been so circumspect. That’s encouraging for those of us who haven’t always either. 🙂
God bless!
Rebekah, my “thank you” is hearfelt, even if a bit belated! Have a wonderful day!
Tamela,
I have a pastor friend whom I knew in college (long before we both became grandparents) but with whom I only recently reconnected through mutual Friends on FB. We live thousands of miles apart geographically and that’s a good metaphor for where we stand theologically and politically, as well. He has “changed camps” and now claims to be as intentionally liberal as possible in both his politics and his faith. He takes pride in posting memes that will provoke as many conservatives as he can, then he impassively mediates the discussions. He has quite a cadre of wildly disparate followers from his old life and new one, so the discussions ARE interesting: someone always “takes his bait.” Too often, however, someone gets so riled that I sincerely hope they wouldn’t react like that in person! I see what he’s doing, and sometimes play along, but in good humor and often a smile emoji. One day this week, it just got to be too much, and I posted “I don’t want to be provoked today. :-)” If I were wiser, I would do that more often on a few other sites, as well. I guess it’s never too late to start. 🙂