Self Doubt
___________
Who am I, Lord,
that I think I can write,
that I have anything to say,
that I can speak sometimes for you?
I have a middling brain, at best,
and some education,
but the longer I live, the less I know, it seems.
I can be lazy,
thick-headed,
shortsighted,
and careless.
There are so many others
who seem so much brighter and bolder,
so much more inspired and insightful
than I think I can ever be.
Sure, Moses felt inadequate, too.
And Jeremiah.
Paul, too.
I easily forget that they weren’t all that confident and serene
when you called them,
or even as you were using them.
But you used them.
So maybe you can do something with me.
Help me to trust that possibility,
and to write better
than I think I can,
in Jesus’ name, amen.
Bob, this is a simply lovely prayer.
Not, perhaps, for me, at least not today. I walk a kind of tightrope now, and my confidence is my balance over a pit of aching despair. If I slip, there’s no coming back.
Might be that a kind of arrogance is keeping me alive, and maybe that’s the disclaimer, and maybe the apology, for what follows…
I’ve gotta have cheerful resolve,
and self-doubt cannot have a place
in this conundrum I must solve,
in this Rorke’s Drift I daily face
because I know that come the dawn
and movement starting for the day
the pain and fear will go beyond
the price I can afford to pay.
And so each task, each written word
has to have confident hand,
for ‘neath the Damoclean sword
it’s vital that I understand
that while this might be living hell,
each hour’s mine, to handle well.
Amen.
Amen!
Thanks for this, Bob.
This is perfect.
May I share this with proper attribution, of course?
Absolutely! I know there are many times, God takes my pen in His hand. He must. I’m not that good.
Ahh. So timely. I needed this today.
Thank you for articulating what so many of us feel. I am printing this out to post in my little writing cabin. I’m looking forward to your upcoming book of prayers for writers.
Brother Bob, thank you for praying for yourself and us. I copied this prayer in my journal. I prayed as I wrote. At the top of the page I finished writing on this verse was printed: “ Such confidence we have through Christ before God.” 2 Corinthians 3:4
God did use you today. Please, pray he uses us too. Thanks again.