Self Doubt
___________
Who am I, Lord,
that I think I can write,
that I have anything to say,
that I can speak sometimes for you?
I have a middling brain, at best,
and some education,
but the longer I live, the less I know, it seems.
I can be lazy,
thick-headed,
shortsighted,
and careless.
There are so many others
who seem so much brighter and bolder,
so much more inspired and insightful
than I think I can ever be.
Sure, Moses felt inadequate, too.
And Jeremiah.
Paul, too.
I easily forget that they weren’t all that confident and serene
when you called them,
or even as you were using them.
But you used them.
So maybe you can do something with me.
Help me to trust that possibility,
and to write better
than I think I can,
in Jesus’ name, amen.
Bob, this is a simply lovely prayer.
Not, perhaps, for me, at least not today. I walk a kind of tightrope now, and my confidence is my balance over a pit of aching despair. If I slip, there’s no coming back.
Might be that a kind of arrogance is keeping me alive, and maybe that’s the disclaimer, and maybe the apology, for what follows…
I’ve gotta have cheerful resolve,
and self-doubt cannot have a place
in this conundrum I must solve,
in this Rorke’s Drift I daily face
because I know that come the dawn
and movement starting for the day
the pain and fear will go beyond
the price I can afford to pay.
And so each task, each written word
has to have confident hand,
for ‘neath the Damoclean sword
it’s vital that I understand
that while this might be living hell,
each hour’s mine, to handle well.
Andrew,
Your immense bravery (and talent) is an inspiration for me (a man of little courage) and I am sure for many others. You should be confident, because your words carry much weight, and mean so much to so many.
Thank you for a better and healthier perspective!! Blessings as you continue to write to inspire others!
Lord, grant Andrew whatever it takes, in Jesus’ name, amen.
Amen.
Amen!
Thanks for this, Bob.
This is perfect.
May I share this with proper attribution, of course?
Yes, Damon, along with all the royalties….
Oh, and you might add in your attribution that this is one of the 100 prayers in my new book, to be released 8/19! https://amzn.to/40yrJNr
Absolutely! I know there are many times, God takes my pen in His hand. He must. I’m not that good.
Ahh. So timely. I needed this today.
Thank you for articulating what so many of us feel. I am printing this out to post in my little writing cabin. I’m looking forward to your upcoming book of prayers for writers.
Thank you, Maggie! It releases 8/19. https://amzn.to/40yrJNr
Brother Bob, thank you for praying for yourself and us. I copied this prayer in my journal. I prayed as I wrote. At the top of the page I finished writing on this verse was printed: “ Such confidence we have through Christ before God.” 2 Corinthians 3:4
God did use you today. Please, pray he uses us too. Thanks again.
On any given day…thank you for posting this.
Bob, if I may be allowed the privilege of a second comment (delete it, and no hard feelings, it’s a stretch)…
I was very expensively trained to survive any situation, and to motivate the men under my command to do likewise. Failure was not only personal loss, but failed mission objectives…which, when you’re trying to keep Horn Of Africa innocents from being slaughtered, does have meaning.
The first principle was complete confidence in one’s training, and in the orders one followed. Doubt, in either respect, was fatally corrosive.
Barb says that I’m the most arrogant man she’s ever met, and the most fanatically loyal. Maybe there’s a reason.
Now, I do understand that contracted war (mer-cen-è-ree) is not writing…
…or is it?
Anyway, be bold, be confident, and let the chimps fall where they may.
Chimps?
REALLY????
ALL the chimps….
And ALL the salsa …
I can so relate. Thanks for sharing, Bob.
Yes, a beautiful post. Thank you and amen!
Perfect! God bless you. 💗🕊
Bob, Thank you for this beautiful, humble, inspiring prayer. I think there are many of us who needed it today, and will need it on other days, whose hearts are blessed because of this. I know you are a man of prayer, and the prayers you share with the “world” generally come when someone specific needs them. God bless as you continue to inspire others for the sake of our Lord.
Amen! Thank you for sharing this sweet prayer.
Ugh! Amen, but HE is Lord and Master. We rest in that. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much for this prayer! It resonated with me — and encouraged me to return to writing.
Bob,
You always seem to have and to know the right thing to say, even when you aren’t aware that you’re praying for lil’ ol’ me! I’m struggling with a Substack post I want to publish tomorrow morning, and asking myself, “Why is it important?” and not coming up with an answer (yet). At moments like that, there’s a temptation (from the author of lies, albeit) to conclude that “It doesn’t matter.” Your prayer affirmed for me at this very moment that the Lord is with me, that he wants me to post my piece, and that if I hang in there a bit longer, the answer — and the lead — will appear. Thanks, God bless, and best wishes for the new book!
Hey, Bob ~ perfect timing with a perfect prayer. I was asked to send a full proposal and manuscript to RANDOM HOUSE! Ohmygoodness! And you know what? Almost immediately, I thought, who am *I* to think I can write for a publisher as HUGE as Random House??
But I also believe God arranged it, so …
“Help me to trust that possibility,
and to write better
than I think I can,
in Jesus’ name, amen.”
Thank you so much! I love this! Very helpful as I’m starting a new writing project!
A beautifully honest and heartfelt prayer that speaks to every writer wrestling with self-doubt. Bob Hostetler’s words remind us that even biblical giants struggled and yet, God still used them. A powerful encouragement to keep writing with faith.