Karen Ball

Some days…you just gotta let go of any hope of accomplishing what you want and laugh!

I’ve had a week and a half of days like that. I promise we’ll get back to catalyst next week, but today, let’s laugh together. I received the following from a writer friend, and all I can say is, “See why it’s so important to edit what you write??”

These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services…

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love.  Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I Will Not Pass This Way Again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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The Rev. Merriweather spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing: ‘Break Forth Into Joy.’
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church.  So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’  Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J. F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – Prayer and medication to follow.
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Due to the Rector’s illness, Wednesday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church.  Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
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The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday : ‘I Upped My Pledge…Up Yours’