I stumbled over this poem about odd plurals in the English language. There was no attribution. If you know who wrote it, please let me know so I can give proper credit.
Very clever!
We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?
The one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his, and him,
But the plural is not the, this, or thim!
Fun Fridays – April 26, 2024
From my back I will shed this boulder,
and relief should be my right
to be aggressive, and be bolder
in homophonics when I write
that my readers come to see
the beauties of the English tongue,
a multitoned and lyric sea
like purpleheart suffused with tung
(which is an oil for finest wood,
much used in the Italianate)
which begs a closing query, would
a person who linguini ate
go get his mortgage settled pronto
by the Loan Arranger and pal Tonto?
Clever, indeed. How I wish I could lay claim to those words. Amusing and imaginative .If you find the author, please let us know.
This is a fun poem. The title of your blog fits. No wonder the English language is so confusing. I’m from the South, and we say ya’ll, not you all or yuns. We also say puh-con and not pee-can pie. Haha!
Obviously, only an English teacher or writer is the author of this — so well done — and shouldn’t all wordsmiths have thought of it? It’s basic germination was lying in our early English lessons all this time.
Thanks for sharing, Steve.
And yet another reason English is SO difficult.
Welcome back Andrew—I’ve missed your profundity. With an emphasis on “fun”.
Susan, thank you.
I thought to do some research and find the author. Alas, this poem and variations has been around a long time, so the original author may be lost in the mist.
Here are a couple of places to look.
https://www.ling.upenn.edu/~beatrice/humor/english-lesson.html
https://www.graceguts.com/poems-by-others/the-english-lesson
One of the first years I taught British Literature, my student Joseph piped up.
“So, English is a mutt language then?”
Yes, all the varied influences that blended to create modern English are what have made our language challenging to learn. Joseph was not my best student but his insight was one I used the next twenty years.
English is goofy, all right! Or is that alright?
I heard this poem, or parts of it, a long time ago. I, too, wish I knew who wrote it. If I were still teaching linguistics, I could use it as an icebreaker on the first day of class.