Before telling someone, “You should write a book,” be sure you know what you are encouraging them to do.
If you are the one told to write, I am sure you quickly discovered that it wasn’t as easy as you were led to believe. And you either just put the suggestion on the back burner or took a lot of time to learn about how things work and then proceeded with your eyes wide open.
If you are the one going around encouraging others to write a book, be sure the advice comes from an informed perspective unless, of course, you use “You should write a book” as a default encouragement to anyone and everyone.
If you are the former, be prepared to guide and mentor the prospective writer, leading them step-by-step, making introductions, alerting them to the challenges that all authors experience, and making a long-term commitment to seeing this through together.
If you are the person who casually uses writing a book as generic encouragement, please stop. Here’s what you are really saying:
I think you should set aside most of what else you are doing to devote yourself to writing for little or no money. Maybe quit your job, downsize your living arrangements, and stop doing hobbies or other activities that make you happy. Trust me, upending your life will be well worth it.
Okay, I am likely overstating things a bit to make a point, but not by much. Suggesting that someone should write a book encourages them to take up a risky, all-encompassing task, not a hobby like scrapbooking. If you want to give everyone generic advice, make it “Take a walk on a sunny day.”
Seriously, why would anyone suggest to a close friend, or even a casual acquaintance, to enter a complicated, highly competitive public arena where disappointment, failure, and criticism are key components? It is difficult and not for the faint of heart. Instead, it sounds like something you would recommend to someone you weren’t particularly fond of.
If you want to encourage someone who shows potential in the writing field, try these actions instead (in order):
- Buy them a blank journal and a nice pen, and encourage them to write something every day.
- Ask them to write some short, 250-word devotions for the church newsletter.
- Accompany them to a writers group.
- Be on the lookout on their behalf for opportunities to write short-form material.
- Buy them a copy of the 2025 Christian Writers Market Guide.
- Suggest blogs and newsletters to subscribe to.
- Accompany them to a writers conference, introducing them around.
Once you complete these seven steps, keep doing some or all of them in no particular order. These are not items on a checklist to accomplish once. These are elements that are built into one’s life as permanent features. The initial run-through might take as short as three years but likely much longer.
So, next time you say, “You should write a book,” remember what you are really suggesting. And if the target of your encouragement takes you up on the suggestion, be prepared to walk alongside them for a long time.
You know, like someone probably did for you.
Dan, I read the title, and another take on it came immediately to mind. I hope it’s okay if I follow it?
Just what am I saying here?
Can’t let the brushstroke get too broad!
I guess it’s, “Don’t give in to fear,
’cause, mate, there IS a God,
and if you listen in the night
when pain and dread beset,
you’ll know that when death ends the fight,
life won’t be over yet,
for close at hand will be the glow
of the Son’s bright heart,
and He will bid you rise and go
with Him as vital part
of what, although the Reaper’s come,
will never end, and’s now begun.”
Andrew, another poem I have printed out and will refer to in those moments/days/weeks when I wonder why I think I could write anything someone would find meaningful/funny/helpful/poignant/inspiring/wise/any of the above. Except I pray it is not on my own but God directing me as you point out so eloquently.
Thank you!
With your permission, of course.
Karen, of course! I’m honoured.
This is VERY practical!
If I mention what I’ve written, INEVITABLY someone says that’s what they want to do.
Andrew: “”Nevertheless, I am continually with You; You hold me by my right hand.
You will guide me with Your counsel; And afterward receive me to glory.”
(An exegete may see “glory” differently than us laypeople, but I like to see it as heaven)
Gordon, thank you so much. This means a lot to me.
Made me chuckle. I never say that but I stand by when others do and think, “Is my eye-roll showing?” If they only knew.
What a great post! I had NO idea what I was getting into in 2018 when I said to myself, “I think I’ll write a novel and try to get published.” LOL
It’s definitely been an interesting ride! Apparently, I’m a glutton for punishment, because I haven’t gotten off the roller coaster yet, and I still keep my sights on publication one day.
I have never said that to anyone. In fact, I have echoed your points in a blog post called “Should you be a writer?” from 2022:
“You probably think I am going to say that depends on how much time you can spend, how good you think you are, how likely you think you can get published, and so on. No, I am not going to say that. The answer is much simpler, and very clear. No, you should not be a writer.”
I then go into details about how hard and unrewarding the writer’s life is as you have done. But then I close with this.
“Do you not give a damn what I say, and you will keep writing no matter what, even if you never publish anything and never make a penny, but it doesn’t matter, because that’s not why you write, but because you have no choice, the words just come from somewhere, and you must get them down, and you don’t really care what happens after that, whether anyone reads them, and if they do, whether they like them or not, it is just something you do, and I can go to hell, but you are not going to stop doing it?
Well, if that’s true, then I’m wrong, so go ahead. You already are a writer, so don’t stop now. Write!”
What about the people that say “aren’t you finished with that book yet? You’ve been at it for months.”
But when you finish it was worth it all. WoW!
‘You probably shouldn’t write a book. You’ve spent the last 83 years in the music industry as the #1 percussionist on the planet and have the most amazing anecdotes I’ve ever heard. You’ve survived prostate cancer, 3 heart attacks and numerous famous girl friends. But please, take the experiences of your wonderful life to the grave and stay mute. You don’t want to risk suffering the negatives of sharing your life in words. Maybe no one will read them.’
Good grief…
From Glen Miller to Metallica and everything in between.
Celebrities have a different path to publishing – a professional ghostwriter paid a lot of money by a publisher.
This guy’s not a famous musician. But, hey! next time I meet a world renowned celebrity who has a publisher bankrolling a ghost writer I can feel comfortable telling him/her, ‘you should write a book!’
Amen.
Dan,
I was told these very words 30 years ago when closing a painful chapter of my life. At the time, my daughter was six and my first thought was the impact my story would have on her life and not necessarily a positive one. Now I realize the story may be told in a way the truths I learned would help others and perhaps not disturb my daughter. She is old enough to weigh in on the decision and provide input on her level of comfort with the story. With all that being said, I wrote the story in my journal to capture the emotion and reactions in case I ever put it on paper for others to read. I’m glad I did and I’m glad you listed that as the first action. Thank you!
Well, that was a depressing read.
Haha I found your post funny. Reading the post’s comments is fascinating as well – so many diverse reactions and they all have their valid perspectives. 🙂
Rather than negative, I found it comforting. It’s a relief to know it’s not only me who finds the commitment to write a difficult challenge.
I understand where you’re coming from – writing a book is a big task and the suggestion to do so can be taken as an encouragement or it can be a ‘pressure’ to do something that wasn’t on a person’s ‘to do list’. 🙂
I think what you’re saying is we need to think before we speak and consider the weight of our words – to not be flippant about it. Would we say to someone casually, ‘Oh, you should become an ultra marathon runner!’ No, but we might invite them to walk a scenic bush walk with us. So there’s nothing wrong with the encouragement to write – but perhaps we could think of something shorter than a book as our first suggestion. Thanks for the post! 🙂
Frankly. I’d like to share your post with the many who feel obliged to slap me silly with their idea of a compliment.
I’m 76. I am devoting the rest of my days as a retired disaster services manager to aiding survival and recovery here in Ukraine. Throughout my overachiever history, I’ve spent considerable time developing my writing skills with modest successes.
But NOW is not one of those seasons.
Intead, my response, and frequently my unsolicited plea is, “Great idea! Please, find someone to write the book. I’m too busy.”
I hope someone takes me up on my suggestion someday.
Leslie
ResilientVillageUkraine on YouTube