Listen! Do you hear it? It’s been there all month, echoing in the background. The sound of hundreds of thousands of fingers tap-tap-tapping away. Yes, it’s here again:
NaNoWriMo!
That grand adventure of joining with other writers worldwide from November 1-30 to uplift and encourage each other as you write a novel in a month.
A full novel.
In one month.
Sound impossible? Well, I confess I’ve never given it a try. But I know lots of writers who have and they love it. Love the camaraderie, love the sense that they’re not alone in the endeavor, love all the resources and pep talks they find at the NaNoWriMo website, love the sense of accomplishment. So this blog is to say kudos to those who have jumped in, whether for the first or tenth time! You’re getting close to the finish line, folks. So…
Kudos!
And now let’s give the NaNoWriMo writers–and the rest of us–a chance to share what many consider the most important part of your manuscript: the first line. We did this back in July, and it was great fun. So let’s give it another go.
Whether you write fiction or nonfiction, your first line is all about engagement. Capturing attention, drawing the reader into your book, winning readers’ buy-in to the message only you can deliver. So let’s hear it, friends. Fiction or nonfiction, share the first line—and ONLY the first line–of your work in progress!
Here’s mine, from a nonfiction book I’m working on:
Deep in the soul of a writer is a dark, sneering voice that never shuts up.
Your Turn!
Déjà Vu All Over Again – Indie (AND) Traditional Publishing
»
Death had a way of creeping up on a soul, and Ivy Thorpe was determined, when it visited her, she would not be surprised.
Jamie, I love the beginning of the line, but the ending doesn’t seem strong enough for me. Is it that Ivy refuses to be surprised, or is there something more? Something stronger? Maybe that she’ll look it straight in the eye, or something like that?
Just a thought.
At the dimming of the day Caroline Bower uncovered her secret and went flower picking.
Jenni, I get what you’re wanting to do here–show that she did something earth shattering then just went to pick flowers. But we need a bit more of the tension here. Who was impacted by her secret? What was the impact…?
At the dimming of the day Caroline Bower uncovered her secret, then left her stunned family to their drama–and went flower picking.
Yeah, not quite there. But you see what I mean? We need to see more of the contrast for the flower picking to work.
PROLOGUE
It had been a bright, sunny, late September day when Amelia Randal first noticed the door and matching side window.
Chapter 1
It was almost nine P.M. The fog and heavy rain kept the light from the streetlamps contained to narrow pools at the foot of the poles. Light shimmered off a green rain slicker as a slight figure ducked under an awning over the basement steps at the back side of Knowlby’s Antiques and Auction House.
Now, now, Sabrina. First line only! So:
It had been a bright, sunny, late September day when Amelia Randal first noticed the door and matching side window.
Good start, but we need something stronger to draw us in.
Fun 🙂 I’ll play, too.
Adrian is going to burn me alive.
Very nice!
This is fun and I now want to read many of your books, just by reading the first line. It really is important. Thanks Karen!
My first line is only five words, from my YA fiction novel:
“Death continues to find me.”
Rebecca, thanks for the kind words. And I want to read the rest of your story, too! Great first line.
Thank you Karen.
I stood there like a stone statue draped in damp black silk while the rain poured down in heavy wet waves as they lowered my husband’s coffin into the ground.
Brandy, too much description tends to slow the impact of the line. Do we need to know int the first line that she’s dressed in black silk? Also, saying the rain poured in wet waves is redundant. There’s no such thing as dry rain. 🙂 So maybe:
I stood there like a stone statue, the rain pouring down in heavy waves, as they lowered my husband into the ground.
Thanks for the feedback. I really appreciate it. 🙂
What do you think of this opening line instead:
The heavens wept as they lowered my husband’s coffin into the ground, and I was grateful because no one could tell that I hadn’t shed a tear.
Kendall Wallis toyed with the ornate silver dessert fork until her husband’s gentle touch alerted her to the waiter’s efforts to clear the table.
Lois, it’s nice, but there’s not enough of a hook here to pull me into the story. You need to tap into the emotion more.
“Late again,” Malcolm muttered as he swung the heavy oaken door open.
Your use of verbs and adjectives makes this one work. Muttered and heaven oaken door create a sense of apprehension. Nice!
Biblical historical fiction, just finished my first draft.
“Benaiah’s first mission was clear; sneak past the guard without disclosing his reason for leaving.”
Pia, if he’s sneaking past the guard he won’t have to disclose anything. So the last part of the line is redundant with sneak past the guard. Better to focus on the consequences if he’s discovered…so something like:
Banaiah’s first mission was clear: sneak past the guard–a man all too ready to wield his razor-edged sword.
Karen, in this case, the guard is his mother, and he is a still a kid trying to sneak out of the house, so the consequences aren’t quite so dire. I just wanted to show him as a kid, feeling like everything was a mission.