You may have noticed I haven’t had a blog posted here since losing my dear dad a few weeks ago. I want to thank all of you for your kind expressions of sympathy and your encouragement. You blessed me a great deal. God has held me close, granting me wondrous touches of His kindness and peace. Though grief hits me at unexpected times—such as last night, while I was clearing off the kitchen counter where Dad always used to fix his meals—I have been amazed at the peace and joy sustaining me spiritually and emotionally.
But the one place I’ve really struggled these last few weeks is—you guessed it—writing. I have discovered it’s unbelievably hard to focus. A couple of times, when I sat down to write a blog, I closed my eyes to concentrate…and woke up hours later. The really frustrating part of this is that I have a lot I want to tell you! I’ve got a whole list of blog ideas just waiting to come to life. But when I try to get them on the page…
It’s not happening.
It finally occurred to me this morning that I’m not the only writer to struggle with this kind of thing. With not being able to focus, with feeling as though every word has to be snagged and extracted from the thick fog clogging the creative corners of her mind.
Of course, as I thought about the issue, I came up with some truly brilliant ideas <insert grin here>. But before I share them, I want to know:
How do you write through the fog when it hits?
What tips and ideas can you share with me, and with the writing community, to help get the words out of our clogged-up brains and onto the page? I look forward to reading your thoughts!
Book Publishing Before the Internet
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I write by grace! Thick fog may indicate the need for self care. I give myself permission to do what might be indicated. A nap. A therapy session. A walk. A moment of playing the piano, the cello. Painting a picture. If I am fighting a deep fog, when these brilliant ideas hit, I step back from sentences. I will open a doc. and jot down ideas, phrases, keywords, emotions. Then, I save it and walk away. Sentences are too high an expectation for foggy periods, especially grief. If a commercial plane can’t find Sea Tac airport in the fog, why would we expect to find something as evasive as the perfect word? Words will come, especially if the ideas have been hidden away.
I agree with Brennan: when grief or stress or life crowds out my creative juices, I have learned to “look away” … by leaving the computer, planting a posey, indulging my foodie tendencies, walking on the beach, a nap on my garden lounger. I find whatever form of play, work or rest that seems to nourish my spirit the most while I rest with the Lord and reconnect again with the passion that fuels my writing. I do write in these times, but not towards any purpose, just freely journaling. Like Charles Stanley, when I stop staring hard at a writing task and look away, the inspiration will bubble up in my spirit very soon, most often upon arising in the morning when the Spirit finds it easier to expand in my uncluttered mind.
Dear Karen, I’m sorry for your loss. All if us here are remembering you and your family in our thoughts and prayers.
I find reflective moments to be of comfort during times of loss. For me, nature or a quiet space will draw me into a place where I can write while in the fog. But my writing is quieter because my soul is subdued as it works through the emotional and spiritual elements that now accompany me. My one published book was written during a time of great grief and sorrow in my life. I was seeking God for answers and would drive to a lookout point overlooking a canyon to sort it out. It was a place where I could relax, reflect, pray, and rejuvenate. It provided a serene womb for God’s healing grace.
Grief comes in waves. C. S. Lewis described that feeling so well in “A Grief Observed.” You don’t feel like yourself yet you are yourself as you go through the motions of everyday living.
Thank you for writing and sharing with us. God bless you.
It has been said that the ones who leave us are the happy ones and those of us left behind are the ones who grieve. Everyone grieves differently and for different reasons. The effects are different, too.
Before I write, I pull up a scripture thought on the internet. Sometimes all I can think of is a piece of the verse that represents how I’m feeling that day. But I type it in the search engine and –tada!–the entire passage pops up. My lows come from other things because my parents have been gone a long time–but the fog still comes and finding inspiration in the midst of pain is not easy.
Lines from songs you and your dad sang together will come up if you type them. Let praise for the One who guards your soul fill your mind and heal your heart.
God bless you in your time of mourning. Grief is a human emotion that we must all yield to at some time in our lives. After my Mother of blessed memory died I wrote, wrote, wrote…prayers. I placed all my words before the throne of God. I also walked my dogs for miles in beautiful woods.
I discovered that a physical issue, especially pain is something quite different from grief. I required a 14 hour surgery with almost a 10 month recovery, then I had another 8 hour surgery with a 6 month recovery. The second surgery resulted in a life-threatening complication. Prior to surgery I was at the apex of my writing journey, talking to and editor, participating in two critique groups, and excited about my book. I attempted to pick up my writing and forge forward. I was not successful, therefore I became severely depressed. I believed I had failed myself, my family, and my supporters. After several months I believe God led me to accept, “Not now, Belinda. It will happened, just not now.” I accepted this prompting and proceed to focus on recovery from health problems.
So I surmise, difficulties writing are natural. While it is important to “push forward,” sometimes it is more important to love oneself while God’s healing grace covers all.
Karen
I get the fog. I went through it when I lost my dad and brother. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Music helped. Clair de Lune stirred my emotions, until I was grateful they could spill out in written form.
Until then, remember God does glorious work through times of grief.
Blessings to you,
deb
Dear Karen, I am sending you a hug. Grief is a heavy burden, so please be kind to yourself. I lost a son to PTSD and suicide last year, and for eight months, I couldn’t write more than a paragraph at a time. So if all you can manage is a paragraph, rejoice in that. Also, when my father died suddenly, I sat down at my treadle sewing machine and pieced a quilt in one week. The rhythm of the treadle, the blending of colors helped heal my writing self. So, if you dabble in some other art form, allow yourself to participate in that joy and see if it helps your writing. May God bring you healing and peace.
Hey Karen,
I’m so very sorry about your dad. Whispering a prayer now.
Yes, I’m quite familiar with the fog. What helps me the most is to take a break–do anything other than write. Cook, walk through an antique store, read. Somehow it gives room in my heart and mind for fresh inspiration.
Love the honesty in this post.
Julie
The fog is a plague I know too well…
I’m sending a teary prayer that the God of hope keep you happy and full of peace as you trust in Him. Amen.
Given that we write to help others, I often find a solitary spot, let the words, though nonsensical, dance on the page, then tear them. I read novels, I ask God for a particular Scripture – even when I’m uncertain of my ability to hear Him – and I sleep.
But then, I haven’t had a dad pass away yet, at least not literally.
Certain you’d come out brighter, Karen.
When I’m having a hard time focusing on writing, I go for a walk with a notebook and pen (instead of my usual canine companion or my camera). As I walk, look, and think, turns of phrases and sparks of ideas come into my brain, and I write them down. When I get back to my computer, I usually have something I can turn into a poem, an article, or a chapter.
HI Karen:
Condolences on the death of your dad. I remember when my mom died two years ago after a 6 week illness. It was such a shock. I still get teary-eyed when I walk past her picture. Happily, we do not grieve as those without hope.
When Mom and a good friend both died after brief illnesses, I actually started writing. I found putting words on my computer screen helped me feel better because what I was writing was geared towards helping those who were trying to get back to the new normal of life following the death of a loved one. Suddenly Single was born out of pain. I pray that you can find peace at this difficult time and that the Lord will bring many fond memories to mind in the coming days.
Karen, I was in a grief support group for a while and found it helpful. The difference between members who had no faith and those who did was HUGE! As Christians we know we’ll be with our loved ones again eventually, and that is extremely important.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My prayers to you and your family.
Karen,
I am sorry about your dad. My dad passed away years ago, and I still miss him. Please accept my sympathy.
Give yourself time and space. Grieving is a difficult and sometimes scary process that cannot and should not be rushed. After my dad died, I thought I heard his voice in a nearby room. Some days I was fine, until I heard or saw something that reminded me of him, then the grief hit hard. Sometimes I heard about something and I thought, “Oh, I’ll tell Dad.” Then I’d remember that he wasn’t around to tell. As you mentioned, I also experienced a disturbing lack of focus. There were times I was afraid I was going crazy.
This world demands that we keep going, and we do need to tend to some things. But we also need to give ourselves some slack, to accept that the fog is there and not push ourselves too hard. Though the world may not understand, God does. The more we reach out to Him, the more He can help us. As another person here commented, this is a season. No one can say how long it will last, but it will not stay. The fog will lift.
Blessings to you, and thank you for your honesty.
Karen,
Your inability to write is certainly understandable and viewed through a grief lens. When I’m sad or in a writing slump, I gravitate to and find strength in the Psalms and/or writing poetry. From there, am able to plod through other writing projects. Continued prayers for you and the family.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I have recently experienced the ‘fog’ myself. I was totally depleted–mentally and physically. Grief is a necessary process but it truly zaps the body of energy. I don’t know about other people but when I am physically drained I can’t write–well, nothing worthy of sharing with others anyway. For me I find lots of time in prayer and reading, instead of writing, help. I also try to do other creative things–adult coloring books are great, relaxing tool. Write down topic ideas when they come to you but let yourself take a break if you can.
You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers
Ah, Karen. I do so want to put my arms around you and hold you close in God’s love. Grief does sink a fog around us sometimes. You have volumes of good advice in the prior comments, so I really have nothing more to add.
That said, however, I’ll add just this. Write anything. You can always edit anything, but you can’t edit nothing.
Praying still and always.
Karen,
i know what’s like to lose someone you love so dearly and my heart goes out to you. l pray you’ll feel the hugs and prayers of all those who live and care for you I can relate to the fog and not being able to concentrate or focus on writing or anything thing else. sometimes we just need time to heal and soak up God’s word and his love. Love and time work together like the gears in a clock,.. they automatically click into place , one moment at a time. after i lost a dear friend, i didn’t write anything for months, Then one day out of the blue, i started a journal, the words poured out of me like a flood., and i broke through the fog. Be patient with yourself hang on to God asnd he’ll help you through it.
Like so many here, I’ve lost my father after a long illness, too. He struggled with cancer for several years and we spent two Christmas’s at the hospital with him. We were blessed to have him as long as we did; he died just 23 days short of his 95th birthday.
I know the fog very well. All these ideas are great, especially giving yourself time to grieve. But for those days when you have to produce, free-writing has really helped me. I usually start on my knees (literally) in prayer, giving the post to Him who made me. Then read my Bible and devotions. After that, I just give myself permission to write whatever comes to mind. Using a pen and paper is sometimes more helpful than a keyboard.
But if my mind is still blank, I’ll just hand-write one of the Bible verses, meditating on it as I write. Sometimes just the act of writing, even if it’s copying a verse, will free up my mind to create.
I hope that helps. You’re in my prayers.