Last time I talked about Deep Point of View. Now, let’s jump into some practical tips for application.
Eliminate “Distance” Words
Eliminate “distance” words like “saw,” “heard,” “felt,” “thought,” “wondered,” “noticed,” and so on. Is there ever a time you’d use those? Of course, but for now, let’s try not to use them. I call them “distance” words because they distance the reader from the character. Any time a reader is reminded that they’re being told a story is not a good thing. We don’t want them to think about that. So get rid of the “distance” words as much as possible.
Example:
Distance POV: She heard a knock on the door and jumped to her feet.
Deep POV: A knock at the door jerked her to her feet.
In the above deep POV example, you have the action and the reaction. You’re not being told she heard the knock, but you’re experiencing it with the character.
Avoid Passive Voice
Use strong, vivid verbs. Have you heard of passive writing? That’s what you get when you use words like “was” and “were.” So how do you spot passive writing?
A passive-voice sentence is usually in this order. I call it the passive formula:
{object of the sentence} + {to be verb} + {past tense main verb}
Tack “by aliens” on the end of your sentence. If it makes sense, it’s highly likely you have a passive- voice sentence.
Example:
“The ball was thrown” still makes sense when you add “by aliens.”
So, what does that mean? Passive voice.
It’s better to say: The aliens threw the ball.
Don’t Use Tags for Internal Thoughts
Write a character’s internal thoughts as part of the narrative without the need for tags. In other words, don’t use “she thought,” “he pondered,” “she mused,” and so on. The thoughts should flow naturally within the action. This gives readers a sense of connection and immediacy.
Example:
Distance POV: She thought about how much she missed Janelle.
Deep POV: Would she ever stop missing Janelle?
Do you see the difference? In the deep POV, the reader is right there, in the character’s head and missing that best friend too.
I hope these examples gave you a little taste of how to use deep POV. Next time, I’ll talk about a few more and give you examples to go with them.
Let me know if you have any questions.
