I’m back to talk a little more about description and how it can advance the plot. 

First, descriptions can foreshadow events or provide important information. What do I mean by foreshadowing events? First it helps to understand what foreshadowing means. If you think back to your freshman high school English 101 class, you’ll remember that foreshadowing involves giving subtle hints or clues about what will happen later in the story. Descriptive elements can be used to create an air of anticipation or forewarning without directly revealing future events.

For example: I have a character who is claustrophobic. She hates enclosed spaces. Like her biggest nightmare would be to be trapped in a small space with no way out. I show that a few times throughout the story as a way of foreshadowing the big climactic event where she’s–yep, you guessed it–trapped in a small, enclosed space. Specifically, a coffin. Yikes! 

What about in Oliver’s and Sophia’s story?

Click here to read the first scene again to refresh your memory if you need it.

Once you’re finished, see if the description advances the plot. Here are some thoughts on that.

1. Foreshadowing: So, here we have a brief mention of Oliver’s work as a forensic artist and his daughter’s prayer for an unknown family. Both of these are hints at the darker side of his job and suggest that his work might play a significant role in the plot. (Which we know it does.)
2. Building Tension: So, we start with Oliver in the everyday normal, right? The calm, routine morning of getting Gia off to school contrasts sharply with the chaos Oliver encounters at his lab. This contrast is like the needle scraping across the record. (Am I dating myself with that description?) The tension shoots toward the roof when he discovers the break-in, making the moment more impactful.
3. Introducing Conflict: The description of the lab in total chaos introduces a clear conflict. The destruction of equipment, torn notes, and shattered laptop indicate that someone has deliberately targeted Oliver’s work. Now the reader wants to know why, right? All of that pushes the plot forward.
4. Plot Progression: Oliver’s discovery of the break-in, his reaction, and his decision to call 911 set the stage for the following investigation and the challenges he will face.
5. Emotional Engagement: The detailed description of Oliver’s morning routine with Gia and his mother creates an emotional connection, making the reader care about the characters and want to know more about them. 
6. Suspense and Mystery: The description of the sound from behind the bathroom door at the end of the scene adds an element of suspense, leaving the reader eager to know who or what caused the noise and why the lab was targeted.
7. Character Insight: Oliver’s gratitude for the small things in life, despite the exhaustion, reveals his resilience and positive outlook. This character trait is a good indication of how he’ll handle the challenging events that are coming his way.
8. Setting Up Future Events: The detailed depiction of the break-in and the implied search for something specific hints at something bigger.
9. Critical Information: Descriptions can also convey critical information that is necessary for understanding the plot, characters, or setting. This information helps to build the narrative and ensures that readers have the context needed to follow the story. 

Take a look at your work in progress and decide if your description pushes your story forward–advances the plot–or bogs it down. And if you can think of a good example where the author did a great job using description to advance the plot, please share.