Seven years ago, I played a joke on this blog, and far too many fell for it (and a few were offended). This time, I am going to tell you it is a joke ahead of time and ruin the surprise. This is known as a day when satire like this is okay.
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A New Chapter Begins: The Steve Laube Agency Acquired
After much prayer, consideration, and a surprising number of Zoom calls involving people who used the word “synergy” unironically, The Steve Laube Agency is pleased to announce that we have been acquired by a leading artificial intelligence company.
Effective immediately, all book proposals will be evaluated by a proprietary algorithm known as Prophet™, which can determine, within 0.8 seconds, whether your manuscript has “market resonance,” “platform viability,” and “just enough controversy to trend.”
Key changes include:
- All submissions must now be uploaded in both Word format and “emotionally optimized metadata.”
- Query letters will be scored for “narrative confidence” and “authorial charisma.”
- Our contracts will now include a clause allowing your future books to be prewritten by AI, based on your “core voice profile.”
We remain committed to representing authors, though we admit some of them may now be partially synthetic.
We look forward to this exciting future, where publishing meets predictive analytics and where every book has already been A/B tested before it is written.
Warm regards,
Steve (and the Overseer Algorithm)
Happy April Fool’s Day!
Will I be able to order books that have characters I admire win out at the end and characters I despise reap unmerciful treatment?
Will I be able to get a Bible that omits any past or future sins I am guilty of?
Just asking.
Aw, Steve. It really does ruin the prank to be told it’s a prank ahead of time.
I’ve seen 2 terrific pranks today so far (it’s only 915am here). Our local custard stand announced their new flavor of soft serve: mayonnaise. I laughed way too hard over that! Especially when people fell for it and posted the vomit face. hahaha!
Then, the company I buy grain free pretzels from announced a new product: Eau de Parfum. Smell like your favorite snack! they cried. I cracked up. But I was disappointed when I clicked on it and didn’t get an April Fool’s meme.
Then the young woman who helps take care of my special needs adult daughter came in with her arm in a sling. She fell at her waitressing job last night, she said. I gasped. Then she said, April Fool’s!! And we laughed SO HARD!
People who get offended by an April Fool’s prank that doesn’t hurt anyone need to lighten up and eat a cookie or something.
Steve,
Very funny.
Also, not.
It is a sad state of affair when one cannot pull the wool over ones eyes without a prewarning of the wool covering event. May the spirit of offense flee!!!
Amen!!
Fleece away, I say lolol.
I wish I had not been warned. I’m imagining the shock I’d have felt knowing you sold out in the name of mucho Bitcoin. Tis for the best, I’m sure. But if you ever do decide to cash in, my good friend Ann Thropic would like a word . . .