Breaking News

NewsCorp Tells HarperCollins to have Thomas Nelson Publishers Sell The Satanic Bible

Since Thomas Nelson is the world’s largest publisher of Bibles, their ownership decided it would be a good idea to have them diversify the types of Bibles they produce. Publication date for The Satanic Bible is set for October 31, 2019.

NewsCorp Director, Cashme Aut, said, “Our global community is just that. Global. We must acknowledge the diversity of beliefs in our world.” Rumor has it they will also add an Atheist Bible in the Fall, complete with 2,400 blank pages.

 

Happy April Fool’s Day!

 

 

62 Responses to Breaking News

  1. Avatar
    Christy April 1, 2019 at 4:10 am #

    Oh my goodness. You got me. In this day and age I am glad this is an April Fools joke!

    • Avatar
      Marlene Salcher April 1, 2019 at 2:31 pm #

      If this is true I pray to God they go out of business. I’m sorry but light and dark cannot walk together!

  2. Avatar
    Deborah L Bray April 1, 2019 at 4:22 am #

    How disturbing is it that I believed such a thing was even possible? Smh~

    • Avatar
      Deborah England April 1, 2019 at 8:33 am #

      Me too…sigh…only heaven knows. But God will keep us standing strong in Him until we meet him face to face.

  3. Avatar
    Pam Halter April 1, 2019 at 4:41 am #

    HA! I knew you were April Fooling us when I saw the link on FB, so of course, I had to stop by and see what it was. 😉

  4. Avatar
    Lillian April 1, 2019 at 5:09 am #

    OMGoodness I can’t believe I fell for it!

    Lillian

  5. Avatar
    debby April 1, 2019 at 5:12 am #

    I was “fooled” until I read about the atheist bible (and yes, it would be filled with blank pages). And I KNEW it was April Fool’s Day. Thanks for the laugh (and so glad Thomas Nelson doesn’t have to go thru this)

  6. Avatar
    Danise April 1, 2019 at 5:13 am #

    Awww, geez!! My heart! I was ready to fight🤣🤣. Way to get my heart rate up at 8 o’clock in the morning. Thanks for the chuckle.

  7. Avatar
    Lillian April 1, 2019 at 5:13 am #

    Correction 😉

    OMGoodness!

  8. Avatar
    Loretta Eidson April 1, 2019 at 5:17 am #

    Oh, that is so bad, but a great April Fool’s Day joke!

  9. Avatar
    Katie April 1, 2019 at 5:20 am #

    You totally got me on that one! 😄

  10. Avatar
    Lisa Fowler April 1, 2019 at 5:20 am #

    Bad to the bone!!

  11. Avatar
    sherri stewart April 1, 2019 at 5:34 am #

    Good one.

  12. Avatar
    Bill Giovannetti April 1, 2019 at 5:39 am #

    LOL. You’re going to burn in heck for that one…

  13. Avatar
    Bryan Mitchell April 1, 2019 at 5:56 am #

    Get your Mr. T memes ready folks. It’s going to be a long day.

  14. Avatar
    Elaine Cooper April 1, 2019 at 5:58 am #

    Sorry. I don’t think it’s a funny April Fool’s joke. Not in this day and age.

    • Avatar
      Deborah England April 1, 2019 at 8:43 am #

      I originally thought this too. Let the Holy Spirit heal the wound & give him permission to change your perspective as He quickly did with me. I’m your sister & Steve’s our brother. We all have the same loving Father. Families that stick together stay together. And there really is great relief in knowing this has yet to reach our horizons. But when it does, as the Word confirms it will, God will sustain us until we meet Him face to face.

      • Avatar
        Elaine Cooper April 1, 2019 at 8:51 am #

        There is not a wound to be healed. I believe, however, that turning a Satanic bible into a joke is just not appropriate. The evil one is no laughing matter.

    • Avatar
      LV Bird April 1, 2019 at 9:06 am #

      This is very bad taste indeed. April fool’s day is not for serious Followers. Would our Lord -or any other Biblical Personality- be part of this? In light of all the immense problems the world faces today, we should make no fun with the enemy. Sorry to write, but many comments show how shallow a mentality prevails. I am very disappointed. Elaine you are courageous.

  15. Avatar
    Damon J. Gray April 1, 2019 at 6:11 am #

    Okay … well done! You got me. I read the first paragraph, thought “That’s asinine!” read it again, and then continued on to the “gotcha!”

    Very well played, brother!

  16. Avatar
    Jamie Foley April 1, 2019 at 6:18 am #

    You had me all Luke Skywalker. “NOOOOOoooooo…”

  17. Avatar
    Tammy Karasek April 1, 2019 at 6:38 am #

    YOU ARE BAD!!!! But, it was a good joke. But so believable in the current climate. You got me, Steve Laube!

  18. Avatar
    Brennan S. McPherson April 1, 2019 at 6:43 am #

    Lol too good!

  19. Avatar
    Yvonne Weers April 1, 2019 at 6:50 am #

    GAH!!! I bought right in. That’s what I get for reading your blog before my first cup of coffee!

    Happy April Fools Day, indeed!

  20. Avatar
    Lila Diller April 1, 2019 at 7:11 am #

    Oh, you got me — big time! I was getting really angry! Thank goodness it was only a joke. 😉

  21. Avatar
    Leola Ogle April 1, 2019 at 7:22 am #

    I wake up, thumb through Facebook and email, gasped when I read your title, start reading aloud to my husband. I can’t believe you got me first thing in the morning. 😂

  22. Avatar
    Kristen Johnson April 1, 2019 at 7:44 am #

    I was about to grab my torch and pitchfork. I forgot what day it was. Good one!!

    • Avatar
      Jerry W Lindberg April 1, 2019 at 7:51 am #

      I hope your Atheists’s Bible has an editorial board composed of media elite’s. Yeah, I fell for it, too.

  23. Avatar
    Andrew Budek-Schmeisser April 1, 2019 at 7:59 am #

    Today I woke to who I was;
    it’s time for a new cup.
    First, I’ll go off the booze
    and turn to 7-Up.
    Next, cigars have got to go,
    and therein lies a tale
    but I would like you to know
    that I did not inhale.
    Fast cars and women will be hard;
    I’ll miss them deep inside
    but I have a biggish yard;
    there one or two I can hide…
    Some days just bring out my worst,
    especially April The First.

  24. Avatar
    Cara Grandle April 1, 2019 at 8:02 am #

    Fun. I read it a second time and caught the Halloween reference. And the Cashme Aut. Ha! People are funny.

  25. Avatar
    Tisha Martin April 1, 2019 at 8:04 am #

    Right. 2,400 blank pages. They wouldn’t need an editorial board at all, would they! Or even writers or beta readers or . . . marketing and publicity? What in the world would you say to advertise a blank book?

  26. Avatar
    Carol Ashby April 1, 2019 at 8:23 am #

    It was totally believable until the 2400 blank pages. Great one, Steve!

  27. Avatar
    Terri L Gillespie April 1, 2019 at 8:34 am #

    OY!

  28. Avatar
    Roberta Sarver April 1, 2019 at 8:46 am #

    Okay, you got me on that one. By the way, your shoe’s untied.

  29. Avatar
    Blossom Turner April 1, 2019 at 8:52 am #

    I love humor… glad I read all the way to the end.

  30. Avatar
    Maggie McKenzie April 1, 2019 at 9:23 am #

    You had be going there. I was envisioning a month long fast until I got to the end. Thanks for the laugh.

  31. Avatar
    Sheri Dean Parmelee, Ph.D. April 1, 2019 at 9:26 am #

    Steve, you really had me going there, for a minute.

  32. Avatar
    Elizabeth Ludwig April 1, 2019 at 9:32 am #

    LOL! How gullible am I?

  33. Avatar
    Linda Kozar April 1, 2019 at 9:45 am #

    This is outrageous! Disgusting. Thanks for sharing this news.

  34. Avatar
    Nancy Jo Jenkins April 1, 2019 at 10:07 am #

    I hurt inside, all the way to “gotcha”.

  35. Avatar
    Roxanne April 1, 2019 at 10:19 am #

    Thankfully I scrolled down to see the April Fools message. I was getting ready to call my pastor and share the horrible news. Now I wait for my blood pressure to go down. I don’t know if that was the best or the worst April Fools joke I’ve heard. Jeez Louise!!

  36. Avatar
    Dawn Shipman April 1, 2019 at 11:08 am #

    Grrrrr!

  37. Avatar
    Steve April 1, 2019 at 11:10 am #

    Doh! Okay… good one.

  38. Avatar
    Gail Arbogast April 1, 2019 at 11:18 am #

    I did not find that amusing. Fake news. Sad.

  39. Avatar
    frenchydennis April 1, 2019 at 11:38 am #

    Naughty, naughty. But I did smile.

  40. Avatar
    Lee Carver April 1, 2019 at 11:56 am #

    I don’t know that I’ve ever before been so relieved to see “April Fool!” at the end of a message. Okay, I’m laughing, but you really got me. Considering what’s happening in my church denomination, it sounds too true!

  41. Avatar
    S Dorham April 1, 2019 at 1:06 pm #

    Yup. Got me, too. Cashme Aut, Halloween publication date, blank pages… Unfortunately, it’s not far from being plausible… Thanks for the laugh!

  42. Avatar
    claire o'sullivan April 1, 2019 at 2:09 pm #

    hook, line, and sinker, I fell for it.

  43. Avatar
    Kendra Burrows April 1, 2019 at 2:27 pm #

    Ya got me! 😉 But remember the days when that would seem like the stupidest idea for a practical joke because no one would possibly fall for it? I miss those days. 😉

  44. Avatar
    Kristen Joy Wilks April 1, 2019 at 3:02 pm #

    Ha ha!

  45. Avatar
    Seralynn Lewis April 1, 2019 at 3:04 pm #

    My heart plummeted to my feet. SO glad it was just an April Fool’s joke. Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! 😉

  46. Avatar
    Cyd Notter April 1, 2019 at 3:40 pm #

    I fell for it! So relieved it was a joke, because it’s not that far of a stretch these days 🙁

  47. Avatar
    Andrew Budek-Schmeisser April 1, 2019 at 4:27 pm #

    Steve, for what it may be worth, I thought this was the best April Fool’s Joke I have yet seen.

    First, it was funny, once one realised the jibe.

    Second, it carried a sting in the tail; we cannot be oblivious to that which the secular wolrd is trying to force.

    In my home state of New Mexico, there is legislation pending (that the new governor WILL sign) that will criminalise a doctor’s conscience-based refusal to perform abortion at birth.

    Only if we see the writing on the wall, and especially through humour, can we fight effectively.

    • Avatar
      Danise April 1, 2019 at 5:03 pm #

      Well said!! Heartbreaking about the abortion issue in NM.

  48. Avatar
    Daphne Woodall April 1, 2019 at 7:13 pm #

    Ok my blood pressure may have climbed when I read this! With so much bad news in the media it was easy to believe. Did you stay in the principal’s office in elementary school? 😮

  49. Avatar
    Susan LeDoux April 2, 2019 at 8:40 am #

    Almost had me…Cashme Aut was the first clue I noticed when I read the blog out loud to Hubby

  50. Avatar
    Debby Lee April 2, 2019 at 1:40 pm #

    LOL, you got me, and it’s not even April 1st.

  51. Avatar
    Matt Davenport April 4, 2019 at 2:21 pm #

    Hahaha…you have a wit about you, you do!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Fun Fridays - April 12, 2019 - - April 12, 2019

    […] those among the thousands who were snookered by my April Fool’s Day post last week, imagine if your 4th grade teacher gave you a spelling test like the one in this […]

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