Lisa Buffaloe, one of Tamela’s clients, had some fun recreating what NOT to do during your “Writer’s Conference Appointment.” Below are all six short videos in one two minute montage with a surprise ending.
The scary thing is that I’ve actually seen the real thing of almost every one of these parodies!
For advice on the RIGHT WAY to conduct yourself read “That Conference Appointment.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yw3p0utBkM
LOL! I’ve met Lisa before, but I never realized that she’s also an accomplished actress. Thanks for a fun laugh to start the day!
Scarier yet, I can relate to the feelings of each of these pitch-ers (with the exception of the bespectacled prophetess at the end). I certainly hope I’ve not come across that way, although I cringe with embarrassment at my first attempts. They were every bit as pitiful as those Lisa portrayed.
Take heart, newbies. You do get better with practice. Just find someone to practice with before you get to conference.
I found I related to those feelings as well (expect the one with the baseball glove and the prophetess) and it made my stomach roll! I’ve only been to one writers conference and it was a few years back, I went as moral support for a friend. Now that I am writing I think I need moral support. I hadn’t really thought about what to say or not to say during a pitch. This video has definitely given me something to think about!
How fun! Lisa, I didn’t know you had it in you! Very nicely done. You deserve an award for this one. 🙂
Someone should write a book about this…
Wonderful, terrible, and all too true.
I’ve known Lisa for a while and she’s an absolutely beautiful soul. LOVE this video she did. So true, so true!!
People often practice their pitches on me at writers’ conferences because I am on the faculty as a “freelancer” and am willing to be a test dummy before they get to the real agent! Unfortunately, Judith’s “bespectacled prophetess” is more common than you might imagine.
These are hilarious, Lisa. A great way to start my Friday.
A woman with a voice/attitude just like one you portrayed sat across the table from me at a critique appointment and said, “I’m XXXX. I’m famous in my hometown. Now, what can you do for me? I’ve written a book.”
Is it bad if I’ve done all of those things? 🙂
Lisa, that was a hoot!
LOL! That was awesome! I have to say, as I watched, all I could think of is what you said, Steve, about seeing all these in real situations. THAT just blows me away…my respect for you just doubled. 🙂
Dineen? You made me smile. Ask any editor or agent. They will all have stories for you.
I’ve seen:
Emotional breakdowns with heave sobbing.
Blank stares as their brain froze the moment they sat down.
Blabbering nonsense as they try to fill the silence of me trying to read.
Pleading.
Invoking God.
A thirty second pitch. And then silence waiting for my response. (it is a 15 minute appointment folks!)
Anger when I say it’s not ready.
Finger pointing and threats.
A man pitching his idea while we stood at the urinals (I wouldn’t make that one up.)
Writers not listening when I try to give advice. Literally talking over me with more arguments why theirs is brilliant. And then getting louder as I try to explain.
Or my awkwardness when I realize within five minutes that this is going nowhere and we have 10 more minutes to kill. (How about that weather today?)
BUT
on the other hand please realize those are the exceptions. 99% of them do just fine every time.
A book pitch while standing at urinals? Oh my word. I’m afraid such an experience would make me flush with laughter. 😉
Wow, that’s hilarious!
Lisa, that’s hilarious. I sympathize with agents and editors.
Well, at least I can say I’ve never stood at a urinal. Not sure what else I can deny.
Lisa, I watched this over on Facebook, too, and I gotta say you are ready for Hollywood. If you don’t get a book contract out of this, why not try for an acting job? Love you, girlfriend.
Ah Steve, so while this guy was pitching at the urinals, where was his eyeline?
ouch
At least it was memorable. Actually, that’s a great way to start a book. What do you think? Two guys taking a whizz. One turns to the other and says….
(It’s literary gold. Cheers for the idea).
😉