In the early morning hours, in a hotel, I was preparing to be on faculty at an important conference when I discovered that an elf had snuck into my makeup bag and stolen my Lancôme foundation. For those who don’t wear cosmetics, foundation is a substance that takes your skin from “ready to read a book in the privacy of your home” to “ready to appear before important people” within moments. Because of the elf, I had the moments but not the foundation. I rarely wear foundation, so I wasn’t surprised that the elf made off with it. I always pack tubes of red lipstick in various conveyances, however, so they are too numerous and substantial for the elf to carry them all away.
Horrified, I realized I could not recover from this theft in time to appear flawless by conference time. There was no store open at that hour, not even one that carried the most inferior foundation. For a split second, I wondered if I could text the director, “I’m sorry, but an elf stole my foundation so I can’t appear today,” and go home. No. No, I did not text her that.
Instead, I summoned courage and applied the rest of my “face” before heading out for the event. Here is what did NOT happen as a result of my lack of foundation:
- The director did not say, “No foundation, no conference!” before slamming the door in my unadorned face.
- The attendees did not say, “We cannot concentrate on anything you are saying about publishing because you are not wearing foundation.”
- No writer said, “I will not submit my work to any agent who appears at a conference without foundation.”
- The Conference Directors of America did not send me a notice saying, “Because you dared to appear at a conference without foundation, you are taken off every conference faculty invitation list until further notice.”
Imps, elves, leprechauns, sprites, and hobgoblins love to steal essential objects, such as foundation, keys, coins, and jewelry. They love to play with computers, cars, manuscript documents, spreadsheets, and appliances, to name a few. But if you press on, you may discover their activities don’t result in as much tragedy as you might think.
Your turn:
Tell us about a time when a hobgoblin, imp, elf, sprite, or leprechaun made mischief with you. What happened?
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This made me smile beaches I have been panicking about headshots. I don’t have foundation. You are right. ? Thank you.
Oh yes, Tamela, I can identify with that. I was getting dressed to speak at a church camp when I couldn’t find the special barrette I’ve used for years to put up my very long hair. Fortunately I was able to pinch-hit with a few bobby pins.
Another time I fell and chipped my front tooth the day before Easter. I had been scheduled to sing a special song at church the next day, and had to go ahead with it. That’s humbling.
My husband and I were presenting several workshops for my publisher on a tight schedule which included arriving early for set-up, 3-hour presentation, take-down and pack, then travel a long distance to present the next morning. With hours of travel behind us, neither of us could remember packing a DVD that played a key part in the presentation. The moment we arrived at our hotel we attacked the trunk. Voila! The DVD sat snugly in its appointed spot. After great prayers of thanks, neither of us could sleep that night in fear of what hadn’t happened. It’s good to know that our loving God goes before us.
Attending a fancy banquet for my husband’s company, I packed a glamorous full-length black gown, beaded clutch and my anniversary pearls. I spent hours on hair and make-up and was dressed and ready to go. Just needed to slip into those pretty pumps…wait the black pumps. Yep, they must have been the elf’s size. No shoes. Just the grubby flip-flops I wore to the hotel. And guess what? Not one person noticed and by the end of the night we were all laughing about it. We’re human after all 🙂
Oh, Tamela – – I loved this post!
When I attended my very first ACFW in 2008, I’d forgotten to pack extra earrings, so only had the pair I was wearing. I arrived at the hotel, a clueless newbie who didn’t know a soul and discovered one earring had fallen out—who knows where. I was already nervous, and then upset that I’d lost an earring. (How could I ever pitch to an editor without my earrings?) 😉 I went into the huge banquet room and sat at a table for our first dinner, and across the table spotted two of my very favorite authors! I had hoped to meet these ladies in person, as I loved their books and had even emailed with them as a fangirl. I timidly waved, and they both hurried around the table to meet me. I was so overcome that I immediately burst into tears, mumbling about losing an earring. They were SO kind to me, and one even offered to loan me a pair of her earrings! I consider those authors friends to this day. 🙂 On a closing note, the last night of the conference, a cleaning lady had found my missing earring and placed it on a table outside the banquet room—so I went home happy, blessed, and wearing earrings! 🙂
What a beautiful story, Patti Jo! Thank you for sharing it with us all.