Karen Ball
Some days…you just gotta let go of any hope of accomplishing what you want and laugh!
I’ve had a week and a half of days like that. I promise we’ll get back to catalyst next week, but today, let’s laugh together. I received the following from a writer friend, and all I can say is, “See why it’s so important to edit what you write??”
These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services…
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I Will Not Pass This Way Again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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The Rev. Merriweather spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing: ‘Break Forth Into Joy.’
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J. F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – Prayer and medication to follow.
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Due to the Rector’s illness, Wednesday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
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The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday : ‘I Upped My Pledge…Up Yours’
My favorite was to say Hell to somebody who doesn’t care much for you. Ha!
Thanks for sharing.
In the same one that talks about “those sick of our community.” He-he. 🙂
I want to know how to get ahold of those electric girdles! Although it might explain the announcement in our church bulletin several years ago regarding the Super Bowel party.
Laughing out loud!
Karen, these had me laughing. My kids keep asking me, “What’s so funny?” This is a great way to begin my day. These two really tickled my funny bone:
The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
Hope your days hold laughter AND productivity. 🙂
I have seen these before, and they make me laugh out loud every single time! Thanks for helping me start my day with laughter. Hope you have a great day!
Thanks for the laugh! What a great way to start the day.
The picture perfectly expresses how I’m feeling this week! Hope things calm down for you. God is good.
Karen, am forwarding this to my family. Be prepared to hear a roar across the country. We Price’s tend to laugh long and loud! Thanks.
Gotta love ’em!! These are great. I love the one about the parents not knowing they have children in the nursery.
I needed a laugh this morning after dealing with my kid all yesterday.
Today will be better.
Thanks, Karen!
Thanks, Karen! I love to laugh.
My fav was the pic! We’re those your dogs? Love it!
Oh. My. Goodness. That was awesome!
I had fun laughing with some good writing buddies last night. Laughter is soooo important! 😉
Just what I needed! Am speaking at a retreat for pastors’ wives next month. Will take these along!!
That last one is priceless!
So funny. I love these.
I’ll add two from one prayer notice my pastor sent out (names changed)–
Praise God for the safe arrival of Robert Elmer Jones, who was born yesterday morning. Mother and baby are fine. Robert is the grandson of Hung and Sue Jones.
Hung was supposed to read Hugh. So I was chuckling about that one when I went to the second item:
Pray for Joe Smith who is looking for a new job. He just got laid.
That’s really bad!
I’m trying to stop giggling. Really I am.
I laughed myself silly. Especially the one where the audience is asked to remain seated until the recession ends. Someone’s going to have a tired backside on that one.
Now I have to go re-apply my makeup and try to remove the waterproof mascara trickling own my cheek. Thanks for sharing.
Nick came into my office while I was howling over these to see what all the ruckus was about– they really are HILARIOUS! I once left Chevy’s in Roseville because this they had written on the blackboard:
We do NOT EXCEPT checks! Thanks for making me do the deep belly laugh — truly the best medicine!
“Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.”
I guess he was cremated? Otherwise you need a big envelope.
Awesome, thanks for the laugh!
Oh, Karen, thank you. I’ve read these before but boy, did I need to read them again today. Truly a laugh-out- loud, “laughter is the best medicine” experience.
Be blessed and keep smiling!
I started laughing with the picture of the dogs! Thanks, Karen–you made me laugh…again!
Thanks for the laughs, Karen. See you at the rummage sale!
Just what I needed right now. Perfect timing, Karen. Thanks!