I talk a lot about writing. As a writer, yes, but also as a literary agent and speaker at writers conferences. And, yes, sometimes, as the guy at church potlucks who is inept at small talk and sometimes starts sentences with, “Ever wonder what the first person to use the word moist was thinking?”
Okay, so now you know a little too much about me. But in my strange mind and varied roles, I do often say the same things about writing, over and over. Such as, “Don’t use ‘over and over’; just say, ‘repeatedly.’
So, for your enjoyment and profit, here are some of the things I say most often about writing (a complete list would be far too long):
Writing for publication is (to adapt a phrase from Nietszche) “a long obedience in an uphill direction.”
Prayer is an important—indispensable, even—part of the writing life and publishing journey. Don’t neglect it, or you’ll regret it.
An apostrophe never makes a word plural.
Define “the takeaway” first.
Nail the hook, nail the book.
Editors are your friends.
It’s part of the writer’s job to make an editor’s job easier.
Pick a lane.
The cynic says about publishing, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” I say, “Publishing, like all of life, is about relationships.”
In response to the question “What are you looking for?”: Irresistible hooks and irresistible writing.
I know, I know, you want more information for some of those. But that’s why I get paid tens of dollars to speak at writers conferences around the country. You wouldn’t want to spoil my cash flow, would you? So how about this? If you have a question (or wish to add your own “things I say most often about writing”), mention it in the comments; and I bet the readers of this blog will be happy to opine (and even rhyme).
Books You Missed in School?
The chosen thing I say ’bout writing
(something you won’t want to miss!)
is a phrase you’ll find worth citing,
“Why do I keep doing this?”
There is so much on Planet Earth
to pursue for fun and glory;
why must I attend the birth
of yet another careful-crafted story
that will linger on in megabytes
through Kindle upon Amazon,
never to achieve the heights
of ‘That With Which The Wind Has Gone’?
Is it ego, pride, or vanity,
or a searching for the Christ in me?
“Why do I keep doing this?” really is the question, isn’t it? Makes me crazy some days! haha! But I can’t stop.
I guess God really did make me a writer. The encouragement to keep going I get when I want to quit is often so incredibly random, it HAS to be from Him.
You seem like an old friend even though we have never met. Thank you for your candid comments. It nice to know that more than myself, someone else stammers in public.
Alright, Bob, I’ll bite…which lane are we being encouraged to stay in? Chosen genre? Publishing option? Olympic swimming?
🤓
PS—Andrew, another gem!
I sat in my office alone reading this blog and laughing out loud, so I called my 19-year-old daughter to join me and share in my joy. She just rolled her eyes and ran out the door; however, I needed a good laugh this morning and I appreciate you!
Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue
I R. a ‘riter,
And so R U
— Bill McBride
EXAMINING the
ROOT of all. EVIL
Released in October 2023
by Amazon-Kindle
Awesome! ‘Nuff said.
Thanks, Bob. Loved opening a conversation with musings on the term “moist.”
Andrew, I wonder the same thing every day!
Very entertaining lol!!
But also very educating!!
Much you said rhymed!
But it fit every time! Lolol!
Thanks again
My friend
Questionably but wonderfully attributed to Ernest Hemingway, “Writing is easy. Just sit in front of your typewriter, open a vein, and bleed.”
I appreciate standing in line at the church potluck next to you and giggling. Thank you for posing the question about “moist.” Plus, the reminder of Nietzsche, “A long obedience in an uphill direction,” from your July 8, 2021, Blog Post.
Things I have said to new writers A LOT:
If you’re in love with it, odds are it needs rewriting or deleting.
Genres have conventions. You can’t ignore them if you want people to read your book.
Your hero needs to make rational decisions. He is making irrational decisions because if he makes rational decisions, your story won’t work. Change your story.
[The problem with your dialogue is] Real people don’t talk like this.
The scene is stalling because you don’t know what your characters want. It will keep stalling until they want different things and have to fight each other to get those things. The scene will sing if they both want good things, or both want bad things.
Read books on craft. Read books on craft. Why aren’t you reading books on craft? Seriously, for the love of all things battered and fried, read some books on craft.
Write a few short stories for practice, then come back to your novel. While you’re at it, read books on craft.
Don’t cheat. Don’t slack. Do the work.
If nobody will notice its absence, cut it.
Writers are crazy.
Ask yourself: “Would I rather do something else with my life?” The answer will be no, and then you can move on. They are words, and we love them.
It’s funny, but people who try to be funny, aren’t funny.
I most often say that conflict–internal and external–is at the heart of “story.” Without it, we just have a list of events.
As an English teacher, I want to THANK YOU for confirming that an apostrophe never makes a word plural. It’s a grammatical felony!
YES! Apostrophes!! I share a meme every year (right about now) which shows how to make people’s and families’ names plural.
I still get Christmas cards addressed to: The Halter’s
SIGH …
Unfortunately, Word hasn’t figured out the one about apostrophes.
I enjoyed ‘The Things I Say Most Often About Writing’ very much.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom! I hope you keep imparting it here and at conferences. The inspiration is priceless. (Despite that it may be practically pro bono.)
When I critique, I find myself most often asking/pointing out:
1. “What’s at stake personally for the main character?”
2. “Would your POV character really say that or see the (choose your noun) with that metaphor or simile?”
3. “Engage all my senses, not just sight.”
4. “How is your MC feeling about what just took place?”
😊