The expression “choose your battles” is a good one, especially in this time when authors must use social media to engage with potential readers. In fact, at a recent author gathering, one mentioned to me that she abandoned Facebook because she was tired of negative comments.
I can understand that. Life is stressful enough without reading political screeds and pointless debates during what should be your downtime, or at least an enjoyable part of your business day.
With that in mind, here are some arguments I’d like to see abandoned:
1.) Apple versus Microsoft. This argument goes nowhere. I’m sure if you really want to, you can find bad press about both companies and their founders. Frankly, I don’t care what computer you send me your manuscript from, as long as I can open and read it. And as my college-student daughter pointed out, most people end up using both platforms for different reasons. Of course, we could even argue her point. Let’s not.
2.) Politics, even when you THINK you agree. Each person has one vote and everyone will vote according to his or her best interests, or at least, how those are perceived. Once you open the door to this argument, you might be upset to discover that you and your friend disagree strongly on fine points of important arguments. Is your friendship really worth damaging over how politicians want to redistribute your income? Considering not even the President can have his way without oversight, I think not.
3.) Theology. Again, even when you think you agree, you might not. Be still and let God.
So now I’ve taken all the fun out of Facebook and left us all with nothing but pictures of kittens, right? Well, for those who enjoy feeling a rush of adrenaline and pulses race at the prospect of a fight, perhaps I’m a killjoy. But I think Facebook can still be enjoyable without being negative. For example:
1.) I’m getting ready to purchase a new computer. What do you recommend?
2.) Make your voice heard! Be sure to vote today!
3.) Here’s a Bible verse or inspirational thought I’d like to share.
Of course, some posts might still generate spirited debate and exchange of ideas. This is fine. I have found on my page that my commenters are respectful and informative. I think this is in large part because I engage with the Christian community and also because I try to word my posts so I’m not spoiling for a fight.
For authors, the idea is to engage, not fight. Think of Facebook as your online personality. You are pleasant in person, so you will be pleasant online and for the most part, attract pleasant people.
And those people who are not? Facebook has mechanisms to allow you to hide their posts from your timeline.
My point? Don’t let a few negative people keep you as an author — and as a person — from using this valuable tool to reach your readers. Social medial should be a fun part of your business day. Enjoy!
Your turn:
Are you on Facebook? If not, why not?
What is your favorite aspect of Facebook?
How do you handle negative people on Facebook?
What tips about Facebook would you like to offer?
Tools to Tackle Grammar Gaffes
Hi Tamela,
I love pictures on Facebook of babies, pets, and people having fun. I like seeing new places my friends visit and learning new things.
If I start reading a negative comment, I scroll down to the next person. I like to think of Facebook as one of my mission fields. I don’t preach, but I try to encourage and build others up and hope they see the love of Jesus. Jesus told us to love others, and Facebook is a place I can do this.
Have a great day!
I use Facebook to keep up with friends old and new. I love seeing posts from my favorite authors and ministries. I’m quick with the hide button when something annoys me, and I’ll unfriend a repeat offender if needed. Thank you for the great post. I completely agree- except I could do with a few less cute kittens! Just kidding!
Loved your article. Facebook is a lovely tool. Nothing is the complete answer but Facebook is a great way to keep your message alive. Don’t give up on it. Don’t obsess over it. Just keep it active. Short and sweet sometimes is easier for people to follow.
Thank you for all your great comments.
Jacqueline Gillam Fairchild
Facebook: Her Majesty’s English Tea Room
jgfairchild.wix.com/tea-room-life
Good point, Jacqueline. I have noticed that shorter comments get more traction for me than longer ones. I think part of the reason is that long comments get a “read more” designation that visitors have to press. Casual “strollers” won’t be that engaged unless they’re really interested in the topic.
Tamela, it seems to me that writing FB posts that call for a ‘read more’ might be good practice for a writer, for query writing and elevator pitches – creating an opening that makes even the casual browser want to read more.
Also, a question – I have heard that FB subtly blackballs posts with an overly Christian message by limiting their distribution, even among one’s friends. Do you know if this is true, or is it an urban legend?
Andrew, I always press “read more” because I engage. But that’s me.
As for the rumor? I had not heard that. I went to Snopes.com and ran a search but came up with nothing. Ironically, I did see rumors of a false report that Facebook plans to ban atheists. Here is that link:
http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/atheismban.asp
I also ran a Google search several ways and came up with nothing. If you hear anything new, let us know.
Will do, Tamela.
I with you, Tamela, I stay clear of political debates, especially on Facebook.
I’m on Facebook, although I never log on until the writing is done. I use it as my time to unwind. I enjoy the photos, book release announcements and cartoons. When I notice a “friend” being too negative, I’ll simply block their comments.
I like the cute pictures, and have found that some folks will post some nice gluten-free recipes.
I ue FB very rarely; first, it sometimes locks up my computer, but more importantly, I don’t like the news feed.
I do not go to FB to ind out what’s happening in the worlds of politics, entertainment or sports. I go there to connect with people.
I’m an extrovert who is now home alone all day so Facebook is my friend. Some people collect spoons or thimbles, I collect people. It’s so encouraging to have friends all the way back to elementary school as a part of my life.
Facebook’s main purpose for me is to encourage, educate, and humor. I also like to gather information for writing and encourage conversation. I asked for input for a blog post, “When You’re the Church Lady’s Whipping Boy” and the comments went crazy! I let the conversation go naturally, some shared stories of hurt and healing, others challenged me for even asking and reliving hurt, then others reprimanded them…it unfolded beautifully as people shared and shared and shared. Even the ones that were challenging each other came to an encouraging conclusion.
I like everyone’s comments on my page and reply to as many as I can to validate and appreciate their input.
I keep up with family and friends on Facebook. My focus on Facebook is to encourage, so I keep that in mind with everything I post. And I share Snoopy cartoons 🙂
Hi Tamela!
This is such a good reminder! I am guilty of piping up a little too much on FB on topics I am passionate about. Eek! I like how I can use my lists and have the debates with my closer friends, and yet it will not show up on all of my FB friends’ news feeds…although, sometimes it isn’t utilized! I also heard at conference this year that you should not touch these types of topics on your author pages…so that is something I have tried to stick by. Encouragement, writing-related posts, and promoting great authors has been my focus on my page. Thanks for this great reminder…social media is a beast sometimes, but it can also be a place of great community!
Excellent post, Tamela, and I completely agree.
One of the main reasons I use Facebook is to see prayer requests from friends (and even some folks I don’t really know – – I can still pray for them). 🙂
I’ve also been able to reconnect with some friends from many years ago, and even located a “long-lost” cousin thanks to Facebook!
And being a true cat lady (LOL) I always enjoy seeing adorable photos of cats and kittens (and other animals too).
When I post a Bible verse of inspirational thought, I always hope that maybe even one person who needs that will see it – – and that makes posting it worthwhile. 🙂
Prayer requests are a great idea, Patti.
On thing that FB allowed me to do was find a ghostwriter for a WW2 veteran I met in a barnes and Noble, quite by chance…and the ghost eventually became a good friend.
In chatting with the veteran, I realized that the had a great story to tell, and that I was not the one to tell it. So I took his name and number, and started looking for the authors of military history for whom I had the most respect. I got a couple of responses to my message, and the guy’s story was recorde. I’m so thankful to have had the opportunity to help save a bit of personal history, and to make a firm friend in the process.
Facebook has three useful functions for me:
1. I can keep up with the adventures of my children and grandchildren, all of whom live 2000 miles away from me.
2. As an amateur landscape photographer, I can share photos of recent work.
3. As a survivor of advanced prostate cancer, I am am a member of a private Facebook group of other prostate cancer survivors from around the country, the UK, and Canada. We share our trials and successes, and since it’s a guys-only group, we also share some ribaldry. Even though I haven’t met many of them face-to-face, I consider them friends in the classic sense of the word.
I try never to post anything controversial or any personal stuff about my family on the internet. But I love having connected with old friends and made new ones, like some of the people who post here, online. If all my contacts bought my books I’d be rich, but I hate the posts that are just advertising and prefer to socialize. Of course if any of my Friends do buy my books or tell others about them I’m happy.
I joined FB to keep up with my faraway children and grandchildren. Then I found numerous friends and former students from our time as missionaries in Chile that I thought I would never contact again–what an extraordinary additional blessing! They now number about 20. Several of my former students are now adult missionaries there with their own families, some are on the East and West Coasts in the U.S., and several of them post something every day. I know their kids’ names and when one gets sick or a tough situation comes up, and I can pray for their very specific needs immediately after they are posted. There is a way to not have dozens of animal photos show up from a particular friend without Unfriending her, and I use that. I do not enjoy re-posts of all sorts of opinion posters, and I HATE it when Christian friends re-post hoaxes, lies, or inaccurate information as truth on FB without even bothering to check if they are true. I’m afraid I sometimes assume the role of “truth police,” but I do try to keep the corrections light or humorous. One faraway friend who often does that then privately thanks me for doing the work she “doesn’t have time to do” to find out if the post is true or not! Sigh. 😀
Linda, at least your friend finds the time to thank you!
Yes, Tamela, there is that. 😀
After reading your Reply to Carol, I’d like to invite you (and Carol, and all the others who follow your posts) to my writing Facebook page –www.facebook.com/mayfieldauthor, and to my blog, lindariggsmayfield.com. I’d be honored to have you and all of them as guests!
I’m easy to find on Facebook since I have three names: Tamela Hancock Murray. I have both a business page and a personal page, so feel free to “like” the business page and send a request to my personal page and I’ll return the favor!
Pictures of kittens? Too controversial. What about those people who love dogs and hate cats? Or love birds and look on cats as marauding predators who have decimated the eastern songbirds, pushing some species into endangered status?
So you feature puppies. What about the cat lover who can’t stand dogs because dog lovers hate cats?
I wouldn’t ask that computer question. It’s a guaranteed way to open up the battle over Mac versus PC in the replies. I’ve used both platforms and like both just fine. You pay about 25% more for the same computing power if you buy Mac instead of PC, but if you are doing something that is very heavy in graphics, Mac might be worth the extra money. I’m more into frugal than graphics, so I always buy PC for my own use. (Was this too inflammatory to post?) And then there is the argument of Dell vs HP vs Gateway vs ….
I stayed off social media for years because of my job and finally got a Facebook page only to keep in touch with my son his freshman year of college. I never posted my own personal info before I retired. Old habits die hard, and I still don’t. I know it’s time for me to start leaving a heavy trail of digital breadcrumbs as an author. Just one more thing to master if I ever want a publisher to look at my literary work. I need to figure out the privacy settings to compartmentalize author me from family me. Or maybe I need a different page entirely. Thoughts on that?
“Warm trail of digital breadcrumbs”
Love that image! And need to be doing the same…
Sorry…”heavy trail”…although warm seems to fit as well. (Can you tell I’m hungry for lunch?)
Jenny, warm is better than heavy. I like to bake bread, and nothing beats the warm crumbs I scoop up from the cutting board and pop into my mouth.
Carol, you do need so set up a warm, friendly Facebook presence that is dedicated to presenting yourself to the reading and publishing public as an author. I recommend setting up a separate page and friending some people you want to know as an author, and letting it grow from there. Feel free to start with me. 🙂
Tamela, thanks for offering to be my friend. I think of you that way already.
I joined Facebook as a late adopter in 2009 and tried it for one year. I left due to discouragement. Friends, family, all the open stuff I learned and that grieved me. I had just given birth to my middle child and so my husband and I deleted out accounts and only a few months ago rekindled our presence once again, due mostly in part to the launch of our independent press.
I enjoy Facebook now five years later because it appears to have a more controlled presence and I manage two business pages, separate entities to my personal profile. That is good. I treasure staying in the loop on family events.
I don’t follow negative people. I have several blocked on purpose that I’ve realized are toxic to my well being, so I guard myself as best as I could and look for things that are “true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report” (Philippians 4:8) and I think on these things.
One tip I would offer is to guard carefully the heart we bring to FB. It is too easy to look at a feed and become reactive to respond, but we must take every thought captive and pause and flee what tempts us to act in haste.
I do have one question, however, about social media presence. Since we are multi-faceted individuals as authors (I homeschool and I blog, I sew, and I write fiction), how does someone in my similar situation distinguish their online presence? Are we to create a separate identity on FB, twitter, G+, and the like that is strictly writer/fiction exclusive? Your thoughts, Tamela, or anyone else who can offer insight…
Thanks.
Erendira, for what my opinion may be worth, I would suggest that you don’t create separate ‘identities’ (with the exception of a FB author page).
Keeping them up can become overwhelming, and eventually if one – hopefully the author ID! – becomes very successful, you’ll have to let the others go, which can cause hard feelings. Your followers will feel abandoned.
Authors are supposed to be multi-faceted anyway, and with sewing and homeschooling you might find you attract some pretty devoted readers…people who’ll say, “Hey…she’s kind of like ME, a normal person!”
Please understand, I’m no expert at social media. I don’t enjoy FB (partly because of all the negativity I’ve seen), and I haven’t really gotten a handle on how to use Pinterest to best effect. My main outlet is my bog, and the blogs on which I comment. I am trying to get my Twitter presence up and running, but it’s slow.
So take my thoughts with a grain or maybe a pound of salt!
Thanks Andrew. Your feedback is appreciated.
Erendira, I agree that one excellent Facebook page (or one personal page and one author page) showing all your interests and hobbies is a great idea. Your readers have varied interests and hobbies, too, and they’ll be able to relate to you on more than one level. Great question!
Tamela, I understand the need to create a clear brand, but for many of us, that may not be so easy. I like your advice to include as many of one’s interests and hobbies as possible to relate to my future readers, but that could make me seem weird. (Maybe the fundamental problem is that I am weird, but I prefer the term “unique.” We’re all unique.) I’m going to be the “real me” in my web presence, but there is enough variety there to make it a challenge to decide what part of the real me to emphasize and share. There is the “warm fuzzy” side of me that loves to sew stuffed animals and doll clothes, bake bread, take nature and scenic photographs, and talk about my children (in a limited way without embarrassing them since they are college students). There’s the history buff side of me that spends endless hours researching my novel’s settings, from dinner recipes to ship designs and house plans to ancient social classes and marriage customs. I love understanding the social aspects of historical periods and locations and embodying that in my stories. Then there’s the professional side of me that likes to read about molecular biology and discuss how relativistic time dilation can explain how 6 days and 13 billion years can both be the right age of the universe, depending on where you make the measurement.
How to fold all this into a warm, friendly Facebook page that will build a network of people who will enjoy my novels is still a bit mystifying. Maybe it’s easier to do a web site first. There’s more room there for the different facets of our personalities to shine and find kindred spirits. Thoughts?
Carol,
It sounds like you might benefit from having a Pinterest account! You can have your page connect to Pinterest so you can show all these unique sides of you! Just a thought! I have loved using Pinterest this way!
Angie
Angie, I haven’t looked into Pinterest yet. I’ll have to do that. Thanks for suggesting.
If you go to my blog, you will see my Pinterest feed in the right hand column. I often write FB posts showing my favorite pins…or linking to Pinterest. It’s just a way to get a great feel of who you are! Here is a post I recently wrote about why authors should try Pinterest! 🙂 http://www.thewritersalleyblog.com/2015/10/why-author-should-try-pinterest.html
Carol, I love Angie’s idea about Pinterest and indeed, authors should utilize this medium. As for the way you describe your interests, I recommend that you put your warm and fuzzy interests on your personal page and your research progress on your author page. Aim the author page to other authors and readers and your personal page to your fans. There will be some overlap, and that’s good.
Oh, and if you want to reach out to other scientists with your professional interests, that’s great, but those interests probably won’t help you with readers of an historical novel. Maybe join one or two closed groups for that? Just a thought.
Does this plan make sense?
Thanks, Tamela. Makes sense. I’m assuming by page you mean Facebook page, not website home page. Now I just need some fans and readers to aim at.
Yes, Facebook page. 🙂
Thanks Tamela: I will consider added more personality to the blog author page I have set up. It is geared towards what my blog is about and adds more about the homeschool and the like which readers of the blog would be interested in.
I will see how that goes as it is still in its first year!
I get a lot more engagement on Twitter, so I’m focusing in that. Not only is it more enjoyable, but I also spend less time there – which means more time to write!
Hey, what do you mean by nothing but pictures of kittens? What have you got against kittens?