Communication

Wronged in Business? When You Want to Hold a Grudge

Even though we’re doing business in the Christian community, none of us is immune from feeling wronged at one time or another. Perhaps an editor should have bought your book instead of someone else’s. Maybe you know a publisher didn’t promote your book with sufficient enthusiasm. Someone who doesn’t understand you could be making negative comments about you.  Or someone could (intentionally or unintentionally) ignore you, to your detriment.

I could write my own book listing how easy it is to be wronged!

Regardless, the one thing you don’t want to do is hold on to feelings of being wronged. At least, not for long. Acknowledge the sentiments, learn from the experience, and then let go if at all possible. Here are some motivations to help release residual emotions:

  • When you hold on to anger, you are freezing yourself in a moment. When you can’t move on, you can’t grow.
  • If you hold a grudge, you’re saying you’re unwilling or unable to do the spiritual work necessary to grow. Bad experiences are teachers. Teachers can be harsh. They can be unfair. But they always show us something about ourselves and others.
  • Grudges make us angry. Do you want to navigate the world as a wrathful person? If you do, that venom is likely to hold others back from wanting to interact with you. After all, do you want to do business with a vitriolic person, or a joyful person? In all of your dealings, what type of person do you want to interact with?
  • When you hold a grudge, the grudge may become a significant part of your identity. I know people who’ve held grudges for decades. That grudge becomes part of what they’re known for. When you let go of a grudge, people no longer associate you with a feud and your identity changes for the better.
  • Holding a grudge keeps us from trusting God. Give Him the gift of your hostility toward another person. He knows what to do with that hostility much more than we do.

Learn, let go and be free.

“If you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.” Galatians 5:15

 

Your turn:

Do you hold a grudge? How will you now let go?

What tips can you offer to release anger?

How has your life become better after you’ve forgiven someone?

 

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I think it is a huge mistake to reveal the amount of your advances to other authors. This is similar to finding out the salary of the co-worker in the office cubicle next to yours. When I was a retail store manager we had major problems when salaries were revealed, a near fist-fight between two people who had been friends.

Money is viewed as a measure of worth; i.e. a measure of the worthiness of your work.

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I must admit that I was so startled by this rumor that words nearly failed me.

“Where did you hear that?” I exclaimed.

“Oh it was at a recent writers conference and folks were talking, and your name came up.”

At the risk of sounding defensive, let me set the record straight.

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