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The Steve Laube Agency

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Home » show don't tell

show don't tell

Does Your Reader Want to be Dumped on?

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon October 27, 2016
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A ridiculous question, right? Of course not! No one wants to be dumped on, much less your hapless reader. Besides, she’s not so hapless. She can exercise her right to close your book long before she reaches the end.

By dumping on a reader, I mean an information dump. Here’s an example I just had fun making up:

Valencia was beautiful and proud of it. Her auburn hair shone just so in the sunlight, revealing strands of gold. Her simmering brown eyes, enhanced by smoky eye shadow, made her seem mysterious. She kept her nails manicured, Wine On, her consistent color choice. The four-inch heels she wore were worth every ache in her feet. She didn’t care that many women gave her the stink-eye when she entered a room. The men’s admiring stares soothed her soul.

Or:

Brad reveled in the fact he held a degree from the Harvard Kennedy School. Ever since graduating, he had adopted a number of ways he could work this fact into every conversation. It had become a game for him, and he didn’t care if his listeners had to strain to keep from rolling their eyes. They were just envious of his superiority.

Though these snapshots give the reader a great deal of insight into the characters, wouldn’t the reader be more interested in seeing Valencia and Brad in action? How about Valencia tossing her head smugly, or smirking? Or even flirting with an admirer? Why not have her show in conversation how empty she feels, even if Valencia herself doesn’t realize it?

And Brad? How about putting him into a conversation to show him dropping the fact of his education, straining to reach the topic out of context? Maybe Brad could sniff when his rival has “only” earned a degree from the Reves Center of William and Mary College.

Information dumps can be even more heinous, like catching up with your gossipy friend:

Joan was unhappy. After her first husband left her, she decided to impose her four children under the age of five on her mother so Joan could enjoy a party lifestyle. At first this seemed like fun, but late nights slowed her down and most of the time she felt lousy, both mentally and physically. She wanted a promotion at work, but was denied, and in private, she fumed and blamed being overlooked on everyone but herself. Then her best friend started dating her ex. To get revenge on them both, she dressed up her toddlers to look adorable and went to every church in town until she found a bachelor pastor and acted nice enough long enough to get him to marry her. From there, things only got worse.

Is this history important to your reader so we understand Joan? Yes, but an information dump is not the best way to handle it. Rather, place the reader in the character’s current situation, and let the information be revealed, nugget by nugget. Not only does this build suspense as to why the character is acting a certain way, but weaving necessary information in the context of the action keeps the reader engaged.

As for information dumps? Keep them on your computer, for your reference. Your reader will be glad you did.

Your turn:

Have you been distracted, confused, or bored by information dumps? Did seeing them cause you to stop reading the book?

Is there a time and place where you think information dumps can actually be effective?

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Category: Craft, Writing CraftTag: show don't tell, Writing Craft

Show Off Your Emotions!

By Karen Ballon June 22, 2016
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You’ve heard it over and over: Show, don’t tell. Well, I agree with that sentiment when it comes to important emotional scenes. Fiction, nonfiction, doesn’t matter. If you want to stir your readers, learn to show powerful emotions. As I thought about this blog, though, I figured you all don’t need yet another how to. Instead, I want to challenge you to share the most powerful emotion you felt this …

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Category: Craft, Writing CraftTag: Craft, Emotions, show don't tell, Writing Craft

How to Engage Your Reader: Guaranteed!

By Karen Ballon July 9, 2014
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I have been a fiction fan for a lot of years—basically, as long as I’ve been reading. But lately, the books I’m drawn to are more memoirs and what I’d call creative nonfiction. Nonfiction message in a creative, unexpected format. As I’ve read these books, I’ve been asking myself why I’m drawn to them. No, more than that… Why I’m drawn into them. Lately I picked up another memoir, …

Read moreHow to Engage Your Reader: Guaranteed!
Category: Writing CraftTag: Craft, show don't tell, Writing Craft

Writing That is Powerful, Not Preachy!

By Karen Ballon April 9, 2014
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  Thanks to Shirley Buxton for asking in the comments of my blog on writing that sings, “Can someone help me understand how to show spirituality without being preachy?” Why, yes, Shirley, I can. At least, I can tell you my perspective. It’s the difference between telling people how they ought to live, and showing them. It’s not spouting Scripture when someone is hurt or struggling, but coming …

Read moreWriting That is Powerful, Not Preachy!
Category: Craft, Creativity, Karen, Writing CraftTag: Craft, show don't tell, Writing Craft

The Value of SHOWmanship in Fiction

By Karen Ballon May 9, 2012
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Recently, I’ve heard a few editors comment that they don’t worry about showing things in fiction, that they think editors and writers get too caught up showing when it’s really not all that important. Telling is okay. It’s just as strong and effective as showing.

I beg to differ.

Consider this from Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, a stellar book by Renni Browne and Dave …

Read moreThe Value of SHOWmanship in Fiction
Category: Craft, Karen, Writing CraftTag: Craft, show don't tell

Show or Tell: How Do You Know?

By Karen Ballon August 10, 2011
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As we discussed last week, it’s okay to tell at times, but in fiction you want to show the important, emotion-laden scenes. That way the reader gets the vicarious experience along with the character. So how do you know when you’re telling rather than showing? Here are a few tips:

Beware the dreaded –ly adverbs.
“Get out of my novel, you –ly adverbs!” Alice said angrily.
Ah-ah-ah! Any time you …

Read moreShow or Tell: How Do You Know?
Category: Craft, Creativity, Karen, Writing CraftTag: Craft, Karen, show don't tell, Writing Craft

Show, Don’t Tell

By Karen Ballon August 3, 2011
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I’m From Missouri—SHOW me!

Okay, truth be told, I’m from Oregon. But in the 30 years I've been editing fiction, I've discovered a number of issues almost all writers face, regardless of how much they've written or been published. If I had to pick the top issue I see over and over, it would be Show, Don't Tell.

What, you may ask, does that mean? It's actually pretty simple. It's the …

Read moreShow, Don’t Tell
Category: Craft, Karen, Writing CraftTag: Craft, Karen, show don't tell, Writing Craft

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