As Soon as Your Book Is Published (Unpublished Author Edition)
- Your hair will become fuller, lusher, and shinier.
- You will only write a thousand words a day to make a million dollars a year.
- You’ll be a bestselling author, and every book will float to the top of the charts.
- You will be the most popular author at writers conferences.
- Aspiring authors will fawn over you, keen for your wisdom.
- You can spend most of your time traveling for leisure and to conferences.
- Your patina of literary accomplishment will impress friends, family, and strangers.
- Your editor will never touch your work because of your brilliance.
As Soon as Your Book Is Published (Published Author Edition)
- Your hair may be a mess since you have no time to visit the salon.
- You have to write like a fiend every day to make bank.
- You find that bestseller lists are mercurial.
- Conferences engage lots of fashionable authors.
- Teaching fawning writers is work.
- You have to schedule business and leisure travel around deadlines.
- Patina doesn’t pay the electric bill.
- Your editor may exercise his latitude to request comprehensive rewrites.
