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Home » Archives for Bob Hostetler » Page 22

Bob Hostetler

The Worst Parts of Being an Agent

By Bob Hostetleron October 24, 2018
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I’m not one to complain. Although I didn’t sleep too well last night, and my coffee was a little weak this morning. And I spilled some on my shirt.

But I mean, otherwise, I’m not one to complain. After all, there are many great things happening in my life right now, some of which pertain to me being a literary agent—which I posted about last week (“The Best Parts of Being an Agent“).

But not everything is sunshine and rainbows. Not every day is the Fourth of July (or even Canada Day). What do I mean? I’m so glad you asked, because otherwise I could be misunderstood as complaining. Which I’m not. But here are a few of the suboptimal parts of being a literary agent:

  1. I have to say no.

One good friend of mine who happens to be an agent himself, whose name I won’t mention (though his last name rhymes with “lobby”), has been known to answer, when asked what he does for a living, “I say no.” Ouch. It’s too close to the truth. Way too much of the job involves saying no, which I’ve never been good at and never enjoyed. It’s necessary, of course, because not everyone’s writing is good, not everyone’s work is ready, and even when both of those boxes are checked, not everyone’s timing is right. But it’s always extremely painful—for me as well as for the recipient.

  1. I have to exercise patience.

I’m not a patient man. (Are you finally finished reading that sentence, for crying out loud?) So I became a writer. Go figure. And then I became an agent. I guess I hadn’t learned enough patience waiting for my own queries, proposals, offers, contracts, manuscripts, edits, and galleys to come to fruition, so I had to enter a line of work in which the waiting is multiplied by dozens of clients. At a time. For months. 

  1. I have to deal with people.

I don’t mean you, the person who is reading this. I mean other people. It’s not just that I’m an extreme introvert (no, really, I am), but also that (I know this will come as a surprise to you) there are a handful of unkind people out there in the “writing world.” People who accuse me of not opening their documents or reading their proposals (crazy, I know). Even one or two who accused me of being a fraud (which would have hurt if I had any idea what I was doing). These folks are the tiniest part of the people I interact with on a daily basis, but they sometimes absorb vast amounts of energy.

  1. I have to fly.

I do enjoy experiencing new places and seeing new things, but air travel ain’t what it used to be. And since becoming an agent, my air travel has increased threefold, I’m guessing. On rare occasions, I get to take my wife, the lovely Robin, on a trip; but most of the time, it’s just me and my frequent-flier number. Also, most of the time, the trip goes off without a hitch; but it’s always stressful and time-consuming. And I hope never again to spend the night in the Minneapolis airport.

That’s about it, really. My “worst” list is shorter than my “best” list, which ought to tell me something. I think it says that the highlights outweigh the lowlights, which I think bodes well for the future.

 

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Category: Agency, Agents, Book Proposals

The Best Parts of Being an Agent

By Bob Hostetleron October 17, 2018
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I’ve been a literary agent now for just over fifteen months. I pretty much know it all at this point. As Foghorn Leghorn would say, “That’s a joke, son.” If you don’t know who Foghorn Leghorn is, you’re too young for us to be friends. But seriously, folks, I’ve learned a lot since becoming an agent; and number one on the list is how much I have yet to learn. Insanely much. As I’m often asked by …

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Category: Agency, Agents

Remove the Easy “No”

By Bob Hostetleron October 10, 2018
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These are both amazing and perilous times for writers seeking to publish. Whether you’re pitching an idea to a magazine editor, book editor, or agent, an important part of your job is removing the easy “no.” That is, some submissions make it easy for an editor or agent to say, “No, thank you.” Thus, it behooves you (I like saying “behooves”; it sounds fancy) to anticipate the “easy ‘no’” and …

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Category: Book Proposals

When Can I Call Myself a Professional Writer?

By Bob Hostetleron October 3, 2018
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I’m occasionally asked the question at writers conferences and via other means: “When can I call myself a writer?” That’s an easy one to answer. “Do you write?” I ask. “Well, yeah.” “Then you’re a writer. Writers write.” Another question, almost as common, is a little more complicated to answer: “When can I call myself a professional writer?” I can think of at least three reasonable ways to answer …

Read moreWhen Can I Call Myself a Professional Writer?
Category: The Writing Life

We Live in Amazing Times

By Bob Hostetleron September 26, 2018
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I shared a table recently with six or seven others at a writers conference. The writer to my right (right?) leaned in my direction and directed a comment to me. “Please tell me something encouraging about publishing now.” Wow. Put me on the spot, why don’t you? But I thought I understood. After all, we were a couple days into the conference. And, as these things go, this writer had made new …

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Category: Book Business, Trends

8 Ways to Write Like Shakespeare (Part 2)

By Bob Hostetleron September 19, 2018
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I started a post last week about how much I owe as a writer to Shakespeare. We never met, of course (I’m old, just not that old); but in addition to the four lessons I listed last week, I also learned these crucial and valuable lessons from the Bard of Avon: Do something new. Shakespeare started his career where others did—imitating Chaucer, Milton, Spencer, and others. He not only borrowed and …

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Category: The Writing Life, Writing Craft

8 Ways to Write Like Shakespeare (Part 1)

By Bob Hostetleron September 12, 2018
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I learn something new in every article or book I write, but perhaps never as much as I learned while composing my book The Bard and the Bible: A Shakespeare Devotional, a book of daily reflections drawn from a quote from Shakespeare and a verse from the King James Bible. Even after more than forty books, hundreds of articles, and thousands of blog posts, I learned from the Bard of Avon at least …

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Category: The Writing Life, Writing Craft

A Writer’s Worst Enemy?

By Bob Hostetleron September 5, 2018
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If you’re a writer, what would you say is your worst enemy? Distraction? Procrastination? Starvation? I admit, those are all candidates. And thank you for not saying “agents.” Unless you did. But I doubt that I am alone in thinking that my worst enemy, as a writer, is hurry. Don’t misunderstand. I work on deadlines. Daily, in fact. Book deadlines. Article deadlines. Blog-post …

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Category: The Writing Life

How Authors Make Money

By Bob Hostetleron August 29, 2018
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So, you’ve written a book. Good for you. Now the money will start rolling in, right? Not exactly. There are a number of ways authors make money, but writing a book is only one step in a long and arduous journey. And, though the details vary widely from one author to another (and one book to another), there are six basic ways an author makes money. An advance When you sign a book contract, the …

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Category: Book Business, Money, The Writing LifeTag: Career, Money, The Writing Life

The Author’s Life in 39 Easy Steps

By Bob Hostetleron August 22, 2018
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Someday I ought to write a book. Woohoo! I’ve just started writing a book! I deserve some ice cream. I’m so excited, things are going great. Writing is hard. No, writing is cool. I’m having the time of my life. Writing is hard. I should just give up. I’m almost done with my first book. Writing is so fun. I have written 4,000 words! I deserve some ice cream. I just found out …

Read moreThe Author’s Life in 39 Easy Steps
Category: Humor, The Writing LifeTag: Humor, The Writing Life
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