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The Steve Laube Agency

Helping to Change the World…Word by Word

The Steve Laube Agency

The Steve Laube Agency

Helping to Change the World Word by Word

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Home » Humor » Page 3

Humor

The Twelve Statements Before Christmas

By Dan Balowon December 19, 2017
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I pondered whether I should write this post in verse to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas, but since there would be a lot of copy/paste activity involved, I didn’t feel like readers would get their money’s worth.

Instead, I’ll do this in simple list form, focusing on twelve statements from 2017, which left me speechless. And if you knew me personally, you would know there are very few things which leave me speechless…utterly, without a thought to express in response.

So here they are, the twelve that silenced me:

  1. “How can you say an average family has 1.7 children? We are average and have three!” (Has nothing to do with publishing, but it still stumped me.)
  2. “I don’t care if I ever make a dime on this book, I just want it published.”
  3. “Do you think 500,000 words is too long for a memoir?”
  4. “You know, it’s funny, I realized when I started writing my book that I don’t even like to read books!”
  5. “There’s no need for me to get any training about writing, I’ll just start writing and God will give me the words.”
  6. “I self-published my book on Amazon and haven’t sold any copies in two years, so I thought I would try the traditional publishing route. Could I get a $50,000 advance? I have a lot of bills.”
  7. “I know they tell us to have something prepared for meetings at this conference, but I would rather take my 15 minutes and just tell you about my idea. I was born in 1963…”
  8. “Please consider this proposal as soon as possible, I need the book published in the next few weeks.”
  9. “If you don’t like this idea, then please tell me what I should write about to be a successful author.”
  10. “I have had five previous agents and they all failed to get me published, so I thought I would try you.”
  11. “Do I need to pay taxes on any money I earn from writing?”
  12. “Do they have the new Nacho-flavor Cheez-its in any stores near Chicago?” (Asked by Steve Laube…who doesn’t like anything Nacho-flavored.)

Feliz Navidad, próspero año y felicidad

 

 

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Category: Book Proposals, HumorTag: book proposals, Christmas, Humor, Pitching

An Author Knows They are Having a Bad Day When…

By Dan Balowon October 24, 2017
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“I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there’s gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.”  (First lines of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst, Simon & …

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Category: Humor, The Writing LifeTag: Authors, Humor, The Writing Life

10 Publishing Related Facts About Winnie-the-Pooh

By Steve Laubeon October 14, 2017
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Winnie-the-Pooh turned 91 years old today, Saturday, October 14, 2017! The book, Winnie-the-Pooh by A.A. Milne, was first published on October 14, 1926. Our family celebrates the day each year. Even with our kids all grown up and married, my wife still bakes Pooh cookies and decorates them. Here are some fun publishing related facts about Winnie-the-Pooh: ‘Winnie-the-Pooh’ was …

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Category: Humor

Fun Fridays – October 6, 2017

By Steve Laubeon October 6, 2017
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“Destroy a Book Title with One Word” A fun game to play today! This hilarious pun-related exercise has been around for years but thought we might have fun with it today. Below are some Christian book titles which either have a word added, a word changed, or a letter added or changed, with bizarre results! The first nine are my own creations and the rest are ones I’ve come across …

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Category: Fun Fridays, Humor

Perfect Christian Book Titles

By Dan Balowon September 12, 2017
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Once in a while, an author and/or publisher come up with the perfect title for a Christian book. Not just something which explains the contents, but the perfect title. No wasted words. It just leaves you speechless. The best title ever (in my humble opinion) was Joel Osteen’s bestseller, Your Best Life Now. It’s perfect. It’s not about someone else, it’s about you. It doesn’t promise a “better …

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Category: Book Proposals, Humor, MarketingTag: Book Titles, Humor

Voice Mail Transcription Fun

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon June 1, 2017
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Have you ever had a miscommunication? In other words, do you live in the world? Of course, we all have. I have voice to text messaging and I really like it. Most of the time it gets my messages right, though sometimes I have to display prior knowledge to discern what people mean. The program does insert question marks when it’s confused. But most of the time, it doesn’t think it’s confused at all. …

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Category: Humor

Silly Saturday – April 1, 2017

By Steve Laubeon April 1, 2017
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Big Announcement! An audio coloring book! Watch the video and be amazed.

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Category: Humor

WHAT Were They Thinking??

By Karen Ballon March 8, 2017
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You know, one of the things I’ve learned since becoming an agent is that people have an odd sense of what’s appropriate. Happily, quite a lot of what I receive is well prepared and enjoyable to read. But I’d have to say that anywhere from a fourth to even, on a bad week, a third, of what comes in falls squarely in the “I don’t THINK so” camp. So here, just to help you avoid such things, are some …

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Category: Book Proposals, Humor, PitchingTag: book proposals, Pitching

Easily Entertained

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon February 16, 2017
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Recently my husband, daughter, and I had dinner with my parents at King’s Barbeque in Petersburg, Virginia. My paternal grandfather discovered this restaurant in the 1950s and it is still one of our family’s favorite places. Since it was near Christmas, they displayed a unique decoration – a pig wearing a Santa hat. Amused, I took pictures with my cell phone. I heard voices. “That’s a first!” I …

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Category: Creativity, Humor, PersonalTag: Characters, Creativity

Exclamation Points!!! Avoid or Embrace?!

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon December 15, 2016
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I love using exclamation points! Don’t you? How about interrobang sentences?! Finally, I think we should bring those back, don’t you?! And not just in dialogue, but in narrative! Finally, shouldn’t readers just really ought to be able to keep up with run-on sentences, no matter how complex, or whether or not they stay on topic, and I wonder how many people could diagram a sentence that’s simple, …

Read moreExclamation Points!!! Avoid or Embrace?!
Category: Craft, Creativity, Grammar, HumorTag: Craft, Grammar, Humor
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