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The Steve Laube Agency

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The Steve Laube Agency

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Home » Writing Craft » Page 23

Writing Craft

Before You Say “I Do”

By Karen Ballon December 21, 2011
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Thirty-two years ago today I said those very words to my darling hubby, Don, in a candlelit service, surrounded by friends and family. Ours was a whirlwind courtship and marriage. From the time we met to the wedding was a total of 8 months—and we were apart for 3 of those months. Yes, we were young. And yes, in many ways, we were incredibly foolish. But now, 32 years later, I can tell you that though our journey has not been smooth or easy, it’s taught us more than I ever thought possible about love, about faith, about obedience, about grace. God has used two imperfect people to forge a strong, lasting bond, and He’s knit our hearts and spirits together as I once thought impossible.

As I thought about all this today, and about all it’s taken for us to not just survive as a couple but to thrive, it confirmed something I’ve heard and experienced: the author/agent relationship is very much like a marriage. There’s the wooing and courting, often on both parts. There’s trying to figure out how to win the heart of the desired. There’s that flush of excitement when you discover your interest is reciprocal. There’s the proposal, and the happy “I do.”

And then there’s the freakin’ hard work of the relationship.

An author’s relationship with an agent is a close and intimate thing. You share dreams and passions, callings and needs, you work close together to make those things come true. For many authors, me included, you share not just your writing life but your personal life with your agent. They become, for all intents and purposes, as much a part of your life as family. And there’s another similarity between marriage and the author/agent relationship…

Expectations.

Don and I came from diverse childhoods. I mean…DIVERSE. Our experiences growing up were polar opposites. Our understanding of family and marriage and love were as far apart as the east is from the west! You’ve heard of folks bringing baggage into a relationship? Well, we had steamer trunks. Big ones. As a result, we hit a lot of snags. By God’s grace, our relationship endured some very turbulent times. Time that ended up, again, by God’s grace alone, making us stronger individually and together. But I won’t deny I wish, wish, wish we’d understood more about the potentially devastating effect expectations can have on a relationship.

Again, it’s similar with authors and agents. Whether you’ve had a number of agents, or are in the process of finding your first agent, the best counsel I can give you is what I tell young couples contemplating marriage: Know your expectations. Each of you must determine what you want from the person and the relationship. Be honest about your strengths and weaknesses, and understand that no one person can ever meet all your needs. No, I’m not saying get more than one agent. Heaven forbid! All I mean is make sure you are aligning yourself with an agent who is a good fit in personality, ability, and passion.

How can you know that? Well, there are hosts of places online to find business questions to ask a potential agent. But I encourage you to consider this relationship in light of some self-examination, understanding there’s no right or wrong to your answers. There’s just understanding yourself and the expectations you bring to the relationship.

  • Do you want someone who will get to know you and your family as well as your work, or are you looking more for a business partner?
  • Are you someone who needs to hear from the agent on a regular basis, even if it’s just to say “hi”, or are you content only to hear when there’s something happening on the career front?
  • Do you state your needs easily or find yourself wanting the other person to “read” you and know what you need?
  • How do you handle conflict? Do you pull back and get silent, letting things simmer, or do you explode and then everything’s okay. Are you willing to address issues right away, or do you shy away from difficult conversations?
  • How do you respond when you fall behind or miss a deadline? Do you let guilt eat you up and make you even less able to work, or do you keep the nose to the grindstone and work until it’s done? What do you need from your agent when this happens? Encouragement? A pep talk? A kick in the pants?
  • What is the worst thing an agent could do? The best?

These are just a few thoughts to get you started. The key here is to not just know yourself, but to understand how you need to work with an agent, and how an agent needs to work with you. And then, when you have that figured out, to make those needs and expectations clear at the outset. Especially that last one. And I encourage you to ask the agent the same thing: What is the worst thing I could do as your client? What’s the best thing I can do?

If Don and I have learned nothing else through all these years, we’ve learned the importance of knowing and communicating as clearly (and unemotionally!) as possible our needs and expectations. Doing this with an agent will help avoid unneeded problems down the road, and will help you deal with problems when they come. No blame or shame needed. Just honest communication, steeped in kindness and truth.

There’s no better basis for any relationship.

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Category: Agents, Get Published, Karen, Personal, Writing CraftTag: Agents, Karen, Personal, Writing Craft

Threads in the Fabric (Part three)

By Karen Ballon December 14, 2011
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Wednesday again! The days go by so fast this time of year! Well, my office Corgi, Mr. Kirby, and I are happy to welcome you inside once again.

Last week we visited the kitchen. Today, let’s meander into the main office, where, no surprise, you’ll see bookcase after bookcase, all overflowing. Oh, I try to decorate and straighten, but more and more I’m embracing the chaos. I’m persuaded true …

Read moreThreads in the Fabric (Part three)
Category: Karen, PersonalTag: Karen, Personal, Writing Craft

The Superiority of Christian Romance Novels

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon December 8, 2011
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A dedicated reader of the blog (Thank you!) posed an excellent question in response to a recent post:
 Recently, I heard a female Christian marriage counselor/speaker say that women should avoid Christian romance books. She stated there was no such thing as Christian romance. Since she was speaking on the topic of pornography, I assumed she was referring to fiction that leads the reader’s mind …

Read moreThe Superiority of Christian Romance Novels
Category: Genre, Romance, Tamela, Writing CraftTag: Romance, Tamela, Writing Craft

Christian Romance — Fact or Fiction?

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon December 1, 2011
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In response to a recent blog post, "A Matter of Taste,"  a reader asked what I would say if someone claimed there is no such thing as Christian romance.

In fact, I have been confronted with this question before. At a Christian writers' conference a few years ago, a woman told me in a snide manner that romance is a "fantasy" and walked away before I could respond. I felt especially sad that the …

Read moreChristian Romance — Fact or Fiction?
Category: Genre, Romance, Tamela, Writing CraftTag: Christian, Get Published, Romance, Tamela, Trends, Writing Craft

How Things Used to Be

By Karen Ballon November 16, 2011
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My family and I have discovered a new TV channel we absolutely love: ME TV. No, it’s not about being egotistical. ME stands for Memorable Entertainment, and its lineup boasts all the old shows that we used to watch when I was a kid. No fooling! It’s like my youth has been reborn! Everything from Rockford Files to Wagon Train, Perry Mason, to Dick VanDyke, Hawaii 5-0 (the REAL 5-0) to Family …

Read moreHow Things Used to Be
Category: Christian, Craft, Encouragement, Faith, Karen, PersonalTag: Christian, Faith, Trends, Writing Craft

Fun Words

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon November 10, 2011
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I don't usually stay up late enough to watch Conan O'Brien but awhile back I caught a show during which he campaigned to bring back use of the word thrice.

Thrice. Indeed, a fun word.

Yesterday Karen wrote about beautiful words so well that today I thought we could play with words and look at those that are entertaining. I'd like to suggest some other fun words that I think just aren't used …

Read moreFun Words
Category: Craft, Tamela, Writing CraftTag: Creativity, Grammar, Tamela, Writing Craft

Beautiful Words…100 of Them!

By Karen Ballon November 9, 2011
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As someone who has studied other languages (French, Spanish, and Russian), I love the physicality of words. When you speak either French or Russian, your whole lower face gets a workout. It's as though you're tasting the words as well as speaking them.

Happily, English has words like that as well. Consider the following:
• impecunious
• circuitous
• mellifluous
• exsanguinate
• …

Read moreBeautiful Words…100 of Them!
Category: Craft, Karen, Writing CraftTag: Craft, Creativity, Karen, Writing Craft

Don’t Quit Your Day Job

By Steve Laubeon October 27, 2011
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I’ve been talking with writers who have another job as well as their writing to see how they juggle doing both. I was a social worker before my daughter was born and started writing soon after, but now that my youngest is off to college I’ve thought about getting back into the work force. I just don’t know how I’d balance the two yet.

The first thing I thought of was that I’d have to do some …

Read moreDon’t Quit Your Day Job
Category: Book Business, Career, Get Published, Writing CraftTag: Book Business, Career, Writing Craft

Study the Market

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon October 20, 2011
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What is the best way to find out what is successful in the current market?

This is a good question because while as an author, you don't want to chase the market, you also don't want to write books that are so far off from the current market that they have no chance of selling. First and foremost, marketing advice from any source assumes that authors submit their best, most polished, highest …

Read moreStudy the Market
Category: Get Published, Marketing, Tamela, Trends, Writing CraftTag: Get Published, Pitching, Tamela, Trends, Writing Craft

Writing Contests: Panacea or Waste?

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon October 13, 2011
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At a recent conference, a lovely writer who had finaled in a contest but wasn't chosen as the winner asked if she could still submit a proposal to me. I told her "Yes! Of course!"

Her question brought to mind the role contests play in a writer's career. I'm asked questions about contests at least once a month. I'll try to answer two key questions here.

Should I Enter?

When considering …

Read moreWriting Contests: Panacea or Waste?
Category: Book Business, Marketing, TamelaTag: Book Business, contests, Marketing, Tamela, Writing Craft
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