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Helping to Change the World Word by Word

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Home » Archives for Tamela Hancock Murray » Page 32

Tamela Hancock Murray

Would You Say That in Real Life? A Key to Social Media Success?

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon July 27, 2017
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I appreciate the people I interact with on social media. Rarely has anyone been unkind. However, I often see articles about social media behavior with the theme, “Please Be Civil!” and “Stop the Hating!” The writers come from a place of disquiet because they feel harassed when they see unhelpful, angry posts. That’s understandable.

Here is what I try to do to help my social media outlets remain an oasis:

  • Avoid hot topics. I “get” that some might think I’m a coward, disingenuous, shallow, or worse, for not stepping into the steamy pot of political goo. But here’s how I see it: offline, I have people to talk to about hot topic issues. We understand each other and can converse when we both agree and disagree. For me, stirring the pot with people I don’t know as well is not productive. So why go there?
  • Don’t challenge the debate team. Those spoiling for a fight are the ones who will look “bad” in front of thousands of people by making rude comments aimed at you or your beliefs. They won’t diminish you unless you take the bait. Don’t do it.
  • You won’t change anyone’s mind. Whether on or offline, the lure of arguing is that you think you will change hearts and minds. I fell for this trick too many times in my younger years. I’m not sure I ever changed anyone’s mind, but I alienated people, sometimes fracturing relationships beyond repair. Truly, this price is too high for minimal effect.
  • Resist jumping into someone else’s argument. Sometimes people commenting on my posts will venture into politics when that was never my intent. I let them have their say, but I stay out of these disputes.
  • Don’t hold anyone responsible for statements made by others on their social media. I’m in contact with all types of people, so I might not be in 100% agreement with every response. The older I get, the less offended I become by opposing viewpoints. It’s hard to understand others at times. Looking for offense, both online and off, will guarantee high blood pressure and never peace.
  • Remember you are not anonymous. Before posting, ask yourself if you would make the same comment in real life. Your keyboard doesn’t have an invisibility cloak.

Your turn:

How do you keep peace on social media?

Do you disagree with me? I promise not to argue if you do!

Do you like my approach, or do you enjoy the debate on social media?

What tips can you offer?

 

 

 

Leave a Comment
Category: Social MediaTag: Social Media

What Book Changed Your Life?

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon July 20, 2017
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A few weeks ago at the Blue Ridge conference, Steve Laube gave a keynote speech during which he asked, “Except the Bible, what book changed your life?” More than one book changed my life, but the first one that popped into my mind was Looking Out for Number One by Robert J. Ringer. Despite the ruthless title, the content is practical. The message isn’t, “Step on anyone and everyone to get to the …

Read moreWhat Book Changed Your Life?
Category: Personal, Reading, TheologyTag: Books, Reading

Should I Use Song Lyrics in My Writing?

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon July 13, 2017
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While catching up on newspaper reading, I ran across an article about movie soundtracks and how uneven they can be. The article’s author offered praise for some for adding atmosphere, while opining that the soundtrack took away from other movies. But what about books? Do song lyrics offer atmosphere, or add to characterization? In my opinion, song lyrics are more problematic than they’re worth, …

Read moreShould I Use Song Lyrics in My Writing?
Category: Craft, Writing CraftTag: Song Lyrics, Writing Craft

I Have to Stay Home from the Conference

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon July 6, 2017
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As I mentioned in several recent posts about conferences, sometimes your best decision is to stay home. Not to worry! You can become a traditionally published author, or maintain your momentum, without attending a conference. Although I started writing books many years ago, I never went to a conference as an author. The first one I attended was an ACFW (then ACRW) conference, as a literary agent. …

Read moreI Have to Stay Home from the Conference
Category: Conferences

Intangible Conference Benefits

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon June 29, 2017
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Recently I blogged about whether or not authors make money by attending conferences. While that’s not always easy to determine through cold, hard math, what you can calculate, though in a more fuzzy way, are intangible benefits: Connecting with Internet friends in person. Meeting authors previously unknown to you. Sharing time with others who understand your victories and struggles. Shaking hands …

Read moreIntangible Conference Benefits
Category: ConferencesTag: Writing Conference

Will I Make Money by Attending a Conference?

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon June 22, 2017
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When thinking of going to any conference, most authors need to consider expenses. A question friends and family might ask is, “Are you making money by going?” I wish I had a firm answer, but the fact is, you may never know. Granted, you might go to a conference, meet an agent and then sign with the agent. Then the agent presents your work to an editor. Soon you receive a contract worth much more …

Read moreWill I Make Money by Attending a Conference?
Category: ConferencesTag: writers conferences

Should I Go to the Conference?

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon June 15, 2017
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Authors want to be good stewards of time and resources so when considering whether or not to attend a conference, many factors apply. You may want to consider, in no particular order: How much will my attendance inconvenience myself and those around me? 1. Will my day job suffer? 2. How will my family cope? 3. Can I easily get to and from the conference? Have I budgeted enough funds to go to the …

Read moreShould I Go to the Conference?
Category: ConferencesTag: writers conferences

Lies and More Lies

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon June 8, 2017
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Recently Karen Ball wrote a superb blog about lies other people tell us and lies we tell ourselves as writers.  I’d like to talk about lies people tell us. Christians working through a legitimate disagreement is not the same as what Karen means. She is talking about being attacked, partly because of who you are. And who the attacker is. I’m appalled by the things people say to each other when …

Read moreLies and More Lies
Category: The Writing Life

Voice Mail Transcription Fun

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon June 1, 2017
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Have you ever had a miscommunication? In other words, do you live in the world? Of course, we all have. I have voice to text messaging and I really like it. Most of the time it gets my messages right, though sometimes I have to display prior knowledge to discern what people mean. The program does insert question marks when it’s confused. But most of the time, it doesn’t think it’s confused at all. …

Read moreVoice Mail Transcription Fun
Category: Humor

Trade Fiction Versus Category Fiction: What’s the Difference?

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon May 25, 2017
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Often I’m asked, “What’s the difference between a trade book and a mass market category book?” Great question! Here are some primary differences and as always, the exception proves the rule. Trade books are: About 95,000 words in length, varying between 85,000 and 100,000. Trim size called “Trade Paperback” is usually 5.5″ x 8.5″ Not restricted by the rules of any category …

Read moreTrade Fiction Versus Category Fiction: What’s the Difference?
Category: Book Business, Romance, Romantic Suspense, The Publishing LifeTag: Book Business, The Publishing Life
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