A few months ago, the leaders of the West Coast Christian Writers Conference had the poor judgment to allow me to teach and meet with conferees. In one of the preconference sessions, I invited attendees to lament the struggles and wounds of the writing-for-publication process, following the form the psalmists often employed. Several were willing to share their efforts and one—Judy Parker—even gave me permission to feature her lament on this blog. Its honesty and vulnerability may strike a chord for you, wherever you are in the often-bruising journey of writing for publication. Here’s her guest post:

Father,

I am beaten and bruised by the assaults I have encountered on this writing journey. I believe you gave me the desire to write, not for myself but for others. I want to write because I believe it’s the calling you have given me. It is my purpose. But it has taken its toll on me, and I am weary. My energy is spent, and my mind is numb.

I can’t do what you’ve asked. It’s so hard, and I doubt I have what it takes. I’m not sure if I have the stamina or the desire to finish the task. If You have truly called me to this, why is every single step so hard? Why is affirmation and confirmation so hard to come by? Why do the voices in my head attack me with endless questions and accusations? Who am I to think I could write, not just a book, but anything? Why would anyone want to read what I have to say? Do I have anything to say?

My earthly goal is to publish a book, to get my words into the world, to help and encourage others. However, the endmost goal is to fulfill the job you’ve given me and to do it with excellence. I want to hear you say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”

I will trust you. I will trust you to give me everything I need to accomplish the task. I will trust you to guide me. I will trust you to remind me when nothing is going right according to my plans, it is going precisely according to yours. I will trust you to silence the voices in my head telling me I can’t.

I praise you because you love me despite what I do or don’t do. Your love for me is not dependent on my performance. Please sink that truth deep into my soul.

I praise you and thank you for being sovereign over all things, not just some things. I praise you for always working even when I can’t see a shred of evidence. I thank you for your sacrifice for me, and I choose to sacrifice for you, even when it is hard, even when it requires my all, even when I feel I have nothing left to give. I will keep fighting and forging ahead, knowing you are with me every step of the way.

I love you.

Judy Parker is a devotional writer from Alaska who loves to help others see God in nature. Her website is Judyanneparker.com.