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Helping to Change the World Word by Word

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Home » Archives for Tamela Hancock Murray » Page 27

Tamela Hancock Murray

Wronged in Business? When You Want to Hold a Grudge

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon June 21, 2018
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Even though we’re doing business in the Christian community, none of us is immune from feeling wronged at one time or another. Perhaps an editor should have bought your book instead of someone else’s. Maybe you know a publisher didn’t promote your book with sufficient enthusiasm. Someone who doesn’t understand you could be making negative comments about you.  Or someone could (intentionally or unintentionally) ignore you, to your detriment.

I could write my own book listing how easy it is to be wronged!

Regardless, the one thing you don’t want to do is hold on to feelings of being wronged. At least, not for long. Acknowledge the sentiments, learn from the experience, and then let go if at all possible. Here are some motivations to help release residual emotions:

  • When you hold on to anger, you are freezing yourself in a moment. When you can’t move on, you can’t grow.
  • If you hold a grudge, you’re saying you’re unwilling or unable to do the spiritual work necessary to grow. Bad experiences are teachers. Teachers can be harsh. They can be unfair. But they always show us something about ourselves and others.
  • Grudges make us angry. Do you want to navigate the world as a wrathful person? If you do, that venom is likely to hold others back from wanting to interact with you. After all, do you want to do business with a vitriolic person, or a joyful person? In all of your dealings, what type of person do you want to interact with?
  • When you hold a grudge, the grudge may become a significant part of your identity. I know people who’ve held grudges for decades. That grudge becomes part of what they’re known for. When you let go of a grudge, people no longer associate you with a feud and your identity changes for the better.
  • Holding a grudge keeps us from trusting God. Give Him the gift of your hostility toward another person. He knows what to do with that hostility much more than we do.

Learn, let go and be free.

“If you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.” Galatians 5:15

Your turn:

Do you hold a grudge? How will you now let go?

What tips can you offer to release anger?

How has your life become better after you’ve forgiven someone?

 

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Category: Book Business, Communication, The Writing LifeTag: Career, Grudge, The Writing Life

Starting an Author Newsletter Before Winning a Book Contract

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon June 14, 2018
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Writers often wonder how to start a newsletter before their book is released. The process might not seem to make sense when you’re publishing a newsletter to promote yourself as an author. However, since a newsletter is meant to establish a relationship with potential fans, being in communication with readers is a great idea. Here are some strategies: Include personal tidbits. You aren’t an author …

Read moreStarting an Author Newsletter Before Winning a Book Contract
Category: Branding, Marketing, Platform, Social Media, The Writing LifeTag: Marketing, Newsletters, Platform

Fakespot

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon June 7, 2018
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As a reader, I enjoy perusing book reviews. I usually start my assessment of a book by reading one-star reviews to see the worst the reviewers think. One-star reviews will tell me the book’s pitfalls and problems, and are less predictable than glowing reviews. I do read across the star rankings, though. The best reviewers across all the rankings provide lots of good information. I cringe when …

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Category: Reading, ReviewsTag: Book reviews, Reading

Four Ways a Proposal Gives You Focus

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon May 31, 2018
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Sometimes I receive queries from writers wondering where their focus should be. They are unsure where they fit in with publishing. Here is where writing a proposal can help: 1.) Who am I? Your author biography, written in third person, (as is your entire proposal) forces you to decide how to present yourself to the world. 2.) What am I writing? Look at your work. Where does it fit? If you are …

Read moreFour Ways a Proposal Gives You Focus
Category: Book Proposals, Get PublishedTag: book proposals, Get Published

Why I Read to the End

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon May 17, 2018
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I am the world’s worst about abandoning novels I read for leisure. I’ll give a book a fair chance, but as soon as I find I don’t like it, I have no compunction about tossing it aside to pursue a different story. And believe me, as a literary agent, I have many books to consider. In any room we spend time in at home, several books stay within reach. Authors must earn my time and effort. So how does …

Read moreWhy I Read to the End
Category: Reading, Writing CraftTag: Reading, The Writing Life, Writing Craft

Your Commitment to Your Reader

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon May 10, 2018
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When you’re working to get your book published, you feel you have lots of people to please. First, you have to be satisfied with your book. Then, you need to find an agent to partner with you to present your work to editors, who are her customers. Then the editor must sell your work to the editorial committee. Then it goes to the publishing committee. So along the way, you’ve had lots of people to …

Read moreYour Commitment to Your Reader
Category: Career, Editing, Inspiration, Writing CraftTag: Book Business, Career, readers, The Writing Life

Your Obligation to Your Editor

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon May 3, 2018
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You’ve done all the hard work of writing and pitching a book and now your agent has secured a contract for you. Congratulations! Now you’re set to work with an editor! You may have met the editor at a conference. You may have talked with the editor many times during 15-minute pitch sessions over several years. You may have attended their workshops and spotlight sessions at conferences. This may be …

Read moreYour Obligation to Your Editor
Category: Editing, The Writing LifeTag: Editing, Editor, The Writing Life

Your Part in Your Agent Relationship

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon April 26, 2018
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Some writers want to work with an agent, but even after securing representation, don’t always take full advantage of the help an agent can offer. Agents appreciate authors not wanting to be high maintenance. However, it’s better to keep us in the loop than to leave us out. The expression, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,” applies to so many situations that can occur! Manage …

Read moreYour Part in Your Agent Relationship
Category: Agency, Agents, Book Business, Career, The Writing LifeTag: Agents, Career, Contracts

Your Role in a Conference Workshop

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon April 19, 2018
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Have you ever attended a conference workshop that really seemed like a snooze? It happens to the best of participants and the best of instructors. While the hope is every class will have chemistry, sometimes there just isn’t any. But you can help! I’ve talked at conferences and paused with, “Does anyone have any questions?” But I met with crickets. Well, actually, singing insects would have been a …

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Category: ConferencesTag: Conferences, Workshops

Your Obligations to Yourself

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon April 12, 2018
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Anyone who writes books knows it’s not a sprint, but a journey. Here are some tips for staying on the path: Allow Yourself Time No matter where you are in your career, allow yourself time to write. Making time may be especially hard before you start seeing income from your work if for no other reason, because someone paying you to write is a form of validation. But the more you persist, the …

Read moreYour Obligations to Yourself
Category: Career, The Writing LifeTag: Career, The Writing Life, Writers
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