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Home » Humor » Page 7

Humor

Decoding Publishing Terms

By Dan Balowon November 12, 2013
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Hacker typing on a laptop

I looked back some of my Tuesday blog posts and thought I might be getting too serious, so I wanted to lighten it up a bit with some practical, helpful information that should help you navigate and understand the complicated world of publishing.

Here are words you might hear in relation to publishing or describing a particular book and its real meaning:

  • “A must-read” – Acquisitions editor job is on the line
  • “Latest release by the author” – marketing hasn’t read the manuscript.
  • “Incredible Literary Feat” – passive aggressive statement from publisher aimed at an author who missed their deadline by three years.
  • “Much anticipated release” – passive aggressive statement from marketing department of publisher aimed at the production department for messing up printer files causing a delay in delivery.
  • “Great crossover title” – Christian bookstores won’t stock it.
  • “Great for all ages” – Publisher has no idea who will read it.
  • “A message for the ages” – Marketing thinks book will blow the lid off of something, but they don’t know what.
  • “A message you need to hear” – the book is like drinking a big tall glass of Metamucil.
  • “Ground-breaking” – book has borderline heresy in it, but maybe not, we’re not sure.
  • “100,000 Books in Print” – publisher over-printed and has a lot of copies in the warehouse…a lot of copies.
  • “Research-based findings” – publisher held a focus group and gave participants pizza and chocolate cake to say they liked the book.
  • “Just like Purpose Driven Life, The Shack, Prayer of Jabez, Left Behind, and The Bible” – Ad copy written by someone who just returned from a seminar on Metadata Key Word Search and Internet Discoverability.
  • “Revised and Updated Edition” – we corrected the mistakes we made in the original edition.
  • “Best-selling author” – the author did all the marketing and bought 20,000 copies and sold them at their seminars.  We just printed them! Woo-hoo!

Any words or phrases you would like to have explained? (I can be serious…really)

Leave a Comment
Category: Creativity, Dan, Get Published, HumorTag: Humor, publishing

My Amazing Fake Day

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon October 24, 2013
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I've been intrigued by some blogs and articles about how Facebook makes people depressed because everyone else's lives seem so perfect. I hope that no one thinks the sum of my life is reflected in two recent Facebook posts that my uncle killed a bear on our family farm in Southern Virginia and here in Northern Virginia, we are host a family of walking stick bugs. I took great comfort in the …

Read moreMy Amazing Fake Day
Category: Communication, Craft, Humor, Social Media, Tamela, Writing CraftTag: Facebook, Humor, Social Media, Twitter

HAL 9000 Writes a Book

By Dan Balowon October 15, 2013
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Since most readers of this blog are writers, this might just ruin your day.

A company called Narrative Science started as a research project with Northwestern University computer science and journalism students. (The Medill School of Journalism is arguably the best in the country)  It was called StatsMonkey.

StatsMonkey was a computer program that automatically generated a usable text recap …

Read moreHAL 9000 Writes a Book
Category: Book Business, Dan, Humor, Technology, Trends, Writing CraftTag: Book Business, Technology

Travel: The Businessman versus the Businesswoman

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon July 18, 2013
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I thought I'd have a little fun today with the differences we experience in our house when getting ready for a business trip.

My husband preparing for travel:
1.) Make sure hair is freshly cut.
2.) The night before, pack bags. Wife has already ironed shirts and will be folding them to pack.
Me preparing for travel:
1.) Wash all clothes down to the last item so family will have clean laundry …

Read moreTravel: The Businessman versus the Businesswoman
Category: Humor, TamelaTag: Humor, travel

Misused Words and Phrases

By Karen Ballon May 29, 2013
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The English language is full of persnickety quirks, the most despicable of which are buzz words. Words and phrases we’ve decided work better than plain speech. Why say what you mean when you can just toss out a phrase that says what you want, but in such a vague and convoluted manner than people spend so much energy figuring it out that they can’t challenge you? Genius! Or how about those words …

Read moreMisused Words and Phrases
Category: Craft, Creativity, Humor, Karen, Language, Writing CraftTag: Grammar, Humor, Language

Astounding Technology Breakthrough!

By Steve Laubeon April 1, 2013
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The secret of making a video go "viral."
Makes one wonder if this is for real....

Read moreAstounding Technology Breakthrough!
Category: Humor, Steve

Redundant Redundancies

By Tamela Hancock Murrayon September 20, 2012
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We all say them occasionally but should avoid redundancies in writing. I still see redundancies in query letters, and sometimes even in published novels -- and I don't mean an endearing speech marker a writer has bestowed upon a character. Here are just a few:

tiny little
add up
very unique
nodded his head
fiction novel
advance warning
close proximity
safe haven
hurry up
lag …

Read moreRedundant Redundancies
Category: Craft, Humor, Tamela, Writing CraftTag: Craft, Redundancies

Some Days….You Gotta Laugh

By Karen Ballon August 22, 2012
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Karen Ball

Some days…you just gotta let go of any hope of accomplishing what you want and laugh!

I’ve had a week and a half of days like that. I promise we’ll get back to catalyst next week, but today, let’s laugh together. I received the following from a writer friend, and all I can say is, “See why it’s so important to edit what you write??”

These sentences appeared in church …

Read moreSome Days….You Gotta Laugh
Category: Humor, KarenTag: Humor, Laugh

Spell Checking

By Karen Ballon July 18, 2012
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Shortly after I became a book editor, I was working on a nonfiction manuscript that focused on Mormonism. When I finished editing, I ran the spell check. Imagine my reaction when the dear spell check wanted to replace every Mormon with moron and Mormonism with Moronism!

Since those long ago days, spell check has invaded countless emails, files, and text messages. As much as we appreciate it …

Read moreSpell Checking
Category: Craft, Get Published, Grammar, Humor, KarenTag: Grammar, Humor, punctuation

The Most Patriotic Dog in America

By Steve Laubeon July 4, 2012
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HT: Take Your Vitamin Z

Read moreThe Most Patriotic Dog in America
Category: HumorTag: Humor
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