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Helping to Change the World…Word by Word

The Steve Laube Agency

The Steve Laube Agency

Helping to Change the World Word by Word

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Home » Humor » Page 5

Humor

Duh Blog

By Dan Balowon September 1, 2015
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Kyle Idelman’s AHA: The God Moment That Changes Everything (David C. Cook, 2014) is my inspiration today.

If ever I write a book, it will be DUH: The Things That Never Change (Big Publisher, 20??)

Today, I will reveal those things that are absolute truth that everyone should know. If you don’t, I have no advice for you.

DUH would not be a self-help book because it doesn’t suggest a solution to any particular problem. Instead, it is a checklist of things that bind us together as humans on this planet. DUH might be the start of a movement that will eventually lead to world peace in our time.

Focusing on what unites us has a healing effect.

Honestly, I don’t expect many comments to the post today. Maybe a couple “YUP” or “AHH” might be posted, but certainly no disagreements to things so clear and simple as first-grade math.

So here they are…the things in life we can’t ever argue: (In no particular order since they are all absolutes)

1. Everything will cost twice what you think – Car or home repair, legal fees, kitchen cabinets, cable TV, cell phones or anything paid for with tax dollars.

2. Pope Francis is Catholic.

3. Hebrew National Hot Dogs are Kosher – Ignore the people who say they are not.

4. Eating 62 hot dogs in one sitting is not healthy. Click here. (http://www.nathansfamous.com/contest/mainevent)

5. You don’t get top dollar for your stuff in a pawnshop – for Pete’s sake, pawnshops are for desperate people trying to get some quick cash. Trying to sell your Picasso? Anywhere but a pawnshop. Anywhere.

6. Pizzaz beats quality more than it should – nothing like cool to sell something. If anything becomes “it”, consumers lose their logical minds and focus on pizzaz.

7. Pizza is a horizontal food – years ago I picked up a pizza at a favorite spot and leaving right before me was a grandfather (I assume) with three grandkids in tow. The kids were a bit unruly and in an act of desperation to corral them and get his car keys, grandpa proceeded to tuck the pizza vertically under his arm like a briefcase. Gosh, he was going to be in trouble when he got home.

8. For humans, past performance is no guarantee of future performance.

9. For God, past performance is a guarantee of future performance.

10. There is an optimum size of a church – extremely large churches must be doing something wrong to draw people to them in such large numbers. Very small churches must be doing something wrong to not attract more people. There must be something in the middle that is perfect.

11. Jesus is a troublemaker – WWJD? Make people uncomfortable.

12. Traditional publishing is slower than indie publishing.

13. Some books are simply more interesting than others.

14. Winning an award for writing quality does not guarantee future sales.

15. Most people would rather be liked.

16. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

17. All things considered, we would rather not consider all things.

18. There are far more authors desiring to write books than there are opportunities at publishers to publish them.

19. Free copies don’t count in your “sales” figures.

20. Any sharp object and a sheet of bubble wrap = five minutes of pure fun.

So there you have it. The things that unite us.

Now that we are all on the same page, we can move on with life, hold hands and sing Kum Ba Ya around the campfire. Summer is over. Deal with it.

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Category: HumorTag: Humor

When It’s One of THOSE Days…

By Karen Ballon June 3, 2015
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I won’t ask if you’ve ever had “one of those days.” You’re in publishing. Of course you have. Probably on a far too regular basis. I totally understand. In fact, my most recent “one of those days” is today. You know what it’s like. You have your little “To Do” list all laid out, and you’re up early, equipped with coffee and ready to dive in, when it happens. Life. And suddenly your plans are out …

Read moreWhen It’s One of THOSE Days…
Category: Career, HumorTag: Humor, The Writing Life

April Fools, the Writer’s Way

By Karen Ballon April 1, 2015
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Many years ago, while I was working at Tyndale House Publishers as their senior editor for books, one of my author’s titles released in late March. A few days later, on April Fool’s Day, inspiration hit. Being the serious-minded, somber person that I am, I sent an email. It was addressed to one Mr. James Watkins, whom many of you know is a humor writer, and who loves to tease others–and who …

Read moreApril Fools, the Writer’s Way
Category: HumorTag: April Fool's, Humor

Goofus and Gallant Go To A Writer’s Conference

By Dan Balowon March 10, 2015
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Anything that has been around for almost 70 years with a billion copies in print should be used as material for blog posts once in a while. The kid’s magazine Highlights was first published in mid-1946 and was an integral part of the Boomer generation right up to kids currently in first grade in 2015. One of the features in Highlights from the very beginning was a cartoon of Goofus and Gallant, …

Read moreGoofus and Gallant Go To A Writer’s Conference
Category: Book Business, Conferences, Get Published, HumorTag: Humor, Writers Conference

Valentine’s Creativity! [Plus a Giveaway]

By Karen Ballon February 11, 2015
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I love to laugh. I’m one of those people who goes into card stores and stands in the aisles, reading the funny cards and chortling. So when I saw some posts on Rejected Candy Heart sayings, I totally cracked up. You know what Candy Hearts are, yes? Those little sugar hearts with sayings such as “Be Mine,”  “Hug Me,” “Real Love”? We’ve all seen them, even exchanged them. In fact, I bought a box of …

Read moreValentine’s Creativity! [Plus a Giveaway]
Category: Craft, Creativity, HumorTag: Creativity, Humor

Let’s Be Creative and Have Fun with Book Titles!

By Karen Ballon November 5, 2014
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Steve Laube shared this hilarious thought from quirkbooks.com in our agency phone call last week: What if your favorite books were Halloween Candy? Such as… Mounds of the Baskervilles Oliver Twix Almond Joy Luck Club The Fault in our Starburst So with Halloween just past, and all the candy now on sale, I thought it would be fun to come up with our own titles using Halloween candy. So here are the …

Read moreLet’s Be Creative and Have Fun with Book Titles!
Category: Fun Fridays, Humor

Book Concepts That Will Never Sell

By Dan Balowon September 19, 2014
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As a public service to our agency clients and the general Christian publishing industry (but mostly because it is a real drag being serious all the time) here are some book concepts that will never sell.  Don’t even bother trying to develop them. I Never Knew You: Depressing Bible Verses The Dog that Returned to His Vomit: A Bible Story for All Ages The Eglon Diet: The Purpose Driven Knife …

Read moreBook Concepts That Will Never Sell
Category: Fun Fridays, HumorTag: Fun Fridays, Humor

How To Stumble Onto Your Brand…

By Guest Bloggeron September 15, 2014
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Erin Taylor Young has a remarkable gift for making her readers laugh out loud even as she’s delivering hard truths about living a life of faith. Her down-to-earth writing style invites readers into the books that God has given her and sends them away refreshed and assured that we’re not in this gig alone. Her first humorous nonfiction, Surviving Henry: Adventures in Loving a Canine …

Read moreHow To Stumble Onto Your Brand…
Category: Branding, Get Published, Guest Post, Humor, MarketingTag: Branding, Humor, Marketing

Fun Fridays – May 30, 2014

By Steve Laubeon May 30, 2014
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Paper vs. Electronic Books. Let the battle continue!

Read moreFun Fridays – May 30, 2014
Category: Fun Fridays, Humor, Steve

Laube Agency Signs Saul of Tarsus

By Dan Balowon April 1, 2014
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(Phoenix, Arizona) Steve Laube, founder of the Steve Laube Agency announced today that the agency has signed Saul of Tarsus to write in various Christian book categories starting with his debut release in Fall 2014.  Saul will be writing under the pen name of Paul, a name with special meaning to the author, given him after a dramatic personal experience several years ago while on an international …

Read moreLaube Agency Signs Saul of Tarsus
Category: Agency, Dan, HumorTag: Agency, Humor
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