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Home » Archives for Bob Hostetler » Page 24

Bob Hostetler

Five Ways Getting an Agent is Like Dating

By Bob Hostetleron May 30, 2018
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At a recent writers’ conference, I enjoyed my first “speed dating” experience.

Maybe I should clarify. “Yes, you should,” says my wife.

These were “speed dating for writers” sessions, in which writers sat down for rapid-fire five-minute appointments with editors, agents, and authors (many conferences provide writers with the opportunity to sign up for fifteen-minute appointments, which pass quickly enough, but five minutes?). I was assigned a table where I met with writers to hear a pitch or answer a question as completely as possible before a whistle (yes, an actual whistle) signaled the end of the encounter. In three fifty-minute sessions, I met about thirty fellow writers.

It was fun, once the copious amounts of coffee I consumed before and during the sessions kicked in. And it got me thinking (which is seldom a good thing) about some of the ways in which obtaining a literary agent is like dating:

  1. First impressions are important.

Dating can be brutal, partly because first impressions can make or break you. So it is with writers and agents. It may not be fair, but if I see a hundred other agents in the “TO” field of your email, you just gave me an easy “no.” If I meet you at a conference and you repeatedly call me “Steve,” I’ll feel insulted (I think I look a lot younger than Steve). If my first acquaintance with you is on Twitter and your tweets are toxic or rude, I’m unlikely to greet your book idea favorably.

  1. There’s no accounting for taste.

Agents are people. And readers. And, as in the dating world, not everyone is attracted to the same thing. So, no matter how desperately you may want to get an agent, if I’m not excited by your genre or style or hook or plot, you want me to say “no thanks.” You don’t want an agent who doesn’t care all that much for superhero fiction. Or senior citizen romances. It doesn’t mean that your writing stinks, it means this one agent is not a good match for you. You want an agent who “gets” you, someone who is excited by you and what you do. And some of that is subjective.

  1. It pays to listen.

On my first date with the woman who became my wife, we took a long walk and then sat on a bench and talked. Well, she did. I listened. Okay, I was mostly waiting for her to stop talking so I could try to kiss her. But I listened, too, because I was enchanted. You may not be enchanted by a prospective agent, but you should listen. Closely, in fact. Pay attention to his or her guidelines and preferences. Don’t send a query if she says she prefers full proposals. Don’t pitch a fantasy, saying, “I know you say you don’t represent fantasy, but I think you’ll change your mind when you read this.” I’m always amazed at pitches and submissions and authors that seem to pay no attention to what I say.

  1. Courtesy and respect go a long way.

The best and longest-lasting relationships are based on mutual courtesy and respect. So I’m occasionally mystified when, having replied to an unsolicited submission with a polite “no thank you,” I am accused in a follow-up email of not having read it or not giving it the time it deserved or not grasping its genius. I find it especially strange when my accuser pleads for me to take another look! If I did so badly the first time, why would you want me as your agent? And why would I want as a client someone who makes such accusations? Take heart, however; such responses make a short, courteous, and respectful “thank you” more impressive and memorable—and indicative of possible future success.

  1. First base is only first base.

I suppose there may come a time when I meet a writer for the first time, see a gem of a proposal, and say, “Here’s a contract!” But it hasn’t happened yet. The typical process, like a dating relationship, involves a lot of getting to know, understand, and like each other. It also typically requires some tutoring, like my wife patiently teaching me which side of a sidewalk I was supposed to walk on, and more. Much, much more. But you get the idea. Similarly, when I see a promising proposal from a writer, we may go back and forth for weeks—even months—before we tie the knot, so to speak. In fact, I checked back into a few clients I’ve signed; it took an average of nine-and-a-half weeks for a submission to result in an agency agreement. And then, of course, it could take nine months or more for the first “baby” to come. But that’s a different metaphor entirely.

 

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Category: Agents, Conferences, Get Published, PitchingTag: Agents, Get Published, Pitching

A Title Wave

By Bob Hostetleron May 23, 2018
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Some writers find it hard to title their work; others have as much (or more) fun creating titles as they do writing articles, stories, or books. So, just for fun, I asked some of my colleagues and clients: “What title of a nonexistent, imaginary, unwritten, or unpublished work do you love? Or would you love to read if it were available?” For example, some of my “dream” titles are: No Grit, No …

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Category: Book Proposals, Creativity, PitchTag: Book Titles, Creativity

Finding Time to Write

By Bob Hostetleron May 16, 2018
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How do you find time to write? You don’t. Non-writers try to find time to write; writers make time to write. A couple lifetimes ago, after having been a pastor for seven years, I took a desk job—the first time in my adult life when my job wasn’t 24/7. But it was also the first time when I had a boss on site, and set office hours. I had written and published a few articles every year during my …

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Category: Social Media, Technology, The Writing Life, Writing CraftTag: The Writing Life, Time

Forgotten Words We Ought to Revive

By Bob Hostetleron May 9, 2018
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A few weeks ago I asked my friends on social media if they had a favorite word that no one seems to use anymore—and the response was fast and furious (I should make a dozen or so movies about it, right?). While there were far too many replies to list them all, here is a list of some of my favorites (and the person(s) who mentioned each), followed by the one word that got the most mentions and …

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Category: Creativity, LanguageTag: Creativity, Language, words

Twenty-five More Quotes About the Writing and Publishing Process

By Bob Hostetleron May 2, 2018
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In recent weeks I have posted a bunch of quotes about words, writers, and writing. But there are so many that I had to return to this proverbial well once more. Following are twenty-five more quotes, mostly about the writing and publishing process, which have been sent to me by friends hither and yon (mostly yon). “Reading maketh a full man; and writing an exact man” (Francis Bacon). “It’s …

Read moreTwenty-five More Quotes About the Writing and Publishing Process
Category: The Writing LifeTag: Quotes, The Writing Life

How to Find Your Perfect Critique Partner

By Bob Hostetleron April 25, 2018
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When I teach at writers’ conferences, the value of good critique partners often comes up. An insightful critique partner can help a writer improve the level of his or her craft, sometimes more than either person would have thought possible. The conversation often leads to the question, “How do I find such a magical being?” Chances are, it’s not your mom. Your spouse is probably not your best …

Read moreHow to Find Your Perfect Critique Partner
Category: Career, Editing, The Writing LifeTag: Career, Critique Partners, The Writing Life

Make Much Ado of Your New Book

By Bob Hostetleron April 18, 2018
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(5 Ways to Plan a Success-Guaranteed Book Launch Event) I am no marketing genius, and though I’ve written fifty books, I still have much to learn about author and book publicity. But I nonetheless had a great time launching my book, The Bard and the Bible: A Shakespeare Devotional, a book of daily reflections drawn from a quote from Shakespeare and a verse from the King James Version of the Bible …

Read moreMake Much Ado of Your New Book
Category: Book Sales, Career, Marketing, Platform, The Writing LifeTag: Book Launch, Book Sales, Marketing, Platform

Two Kinds of Writers in the World

By Bob Hostetleron April 11, 2018
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I often tell developing writers at conferences that there are two kinds of writers in the world: the “hobbyist” and the “professional.” Yes, it’s an oversimplification. It’s shorthand. But I think it gets the point across. Both the hobbyist and the professional may be good writers, even great. Both may often work hard. Both are valuable and worthy of admiration. Both may publish. But there is a …

Read moreTwo Kinds of Writers in the World
Category: Editing, Get Published, The Writing Life, Writing CraftTag: Career, Get Published, The Writing Life, Writers

Twenty-five Fantastic Quotes About Words and Writers

By Bob Hostetleron April 4, 2018
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A few weeks ago in this space I posted twenty-five rules for writers. There are more, of course, but as W. Somerset Maugham said, “no one knows what they are.” Seriously, folks, I’m just getting started. I asked friends on Twitter and Facebook to send me their favorite quotes about writers and writing—not necessarily rules, but something memorable and, maybe, inspirational. I enjoyed the …

Read moreTwenty-five Fantastic Quotes About Words and Writers
Category: Inspiration, The Writing LifeTag: Inspiration, Quotes, The Writing Life

Four Ways to Apprentice as a Writer

By Bob Hostetleron March 28, 2018
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One of the things that struck me as I read Stephen King’s On Writing (besides his reliance on the “S” word!) was his depiction of some of his first steps as a writer. Back then, a fiction writer could cut his teeth, so to speak, writing for pulp magazines (Weird Tales, Amazing Stories, etc.), weeklies (Saturday Evening Post, etc.), monthlies (including so-called men’s magazines), and so on, before …

Read moreFour Ways to Apprentice as a Writer
Category: Career, Encouragement, Get PublishedTag: Apprentice, Get Published
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