- Someday I ought to write a book.
- Woohoo! I’ve just started writing a book! I deserve some ice cream.
- I’m so excited, things are going great.
- Writing is hard.
- No, writing is cool. I’m having the time of my life.
- Writing is hard. I should just give up.
- I’m almost done with my first book. Writing is so fun. I have written 4,000 words! I deserve some ice cream.
- I just found out books are usually a lot longer than 4,000 words. I have no idea what I’m doing. I should just give up.
- I have lost all sense of direction and perspective. I have no idea if this is any good or not.
- I showed my writing to someone and she loved it! I’m going to be famous. I deserve some ice cream.
- I showed my writing to someone else and he pointed out a few problems. I’m horrible and I hate writing.
- I finished my whole manuscript! I’m an author! I deserve some ice cream.
- Someone said I should probably go through my manuscript looking for mistakes, but that’s crazy, I didn’t make any mistakes.
- I’ve started going through my manuscript and I made a million mistakes! I have no idea what I’m doing. I should just give up.
- Okay, maybe it’s not as bad as I thought.
- Okay, I think it’s so much worse than I thought. Writing is hard.
- The second draft is finished. I’m finally done. I deserve some ice cream.
- I think it’s ready to submit to agents and editors, so I’m taking it to a writer’s conference to shop it around.
- I just got back from the writer’s conference. I have no idea what I’m doing. I should just give up.
- Maybe I can survive just one more draft.
- Repeat #3-18.
- Someone is finally interested in my book! I’m going to be rich and famous! I deserve some ice cream.
- No they’re not. I should just give up.
- Repeat #22-23. As necessary. Ad infinitum, even.
- Someone is interested in my book, but they want changes. Lots of them. I clearly have no idea what I’m doing. I should just give up.
- The rewrite is finished. I’m finally done. I deserve some ice cream.
- Woohoo! I’ve been offered a contract! I’m an author! I’m going to be rich and famous! I deserve some ice cream.
- Another rewrite? You must be kidding. I clearly have no idea what I’m doing. I should just give up.
- I finally finished the rewrite. I’m finally done. I’m exhausted and I have lost all sense of direction and perspective. I have no idea if this is any good or not.
- I’m so relieved to be finished with this book. I deserve some ice cream.
- Edits? I thought this thing was finished. Now I have to review all these edits? And comments? This will take forever. I have no idea what I’m doing. I should just give up.
- Okay, that’s it. Finished. Kaput. What a relief. I deserve some ice cream.
- Oh for crying out loud. I just got these things called galleys and I’m supposed to respond WHEN? Who has time for all this?
- Finally done. Finished. Kaput. What a relief. I can finally relax and enjoy a little ice cream.
- This is so exciting. I can’t wait to hold this book in my hands.
- Influencers? Endorsements? Marketing? What’s that? I have no idea what I’m doing.
- Reviews? Pre-orders? Blog tours? Sales rankings? Book launch? What’s all that? I have no idea what I’m doing.
- My books are here! My books are here! My books are here! I deserve some ice cream.
- How is there a typo in this cotton-picking thing?
