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Humor
WHAT Were They Thinking??
You know, one of the things I’ve learned since becoming an agent is that people have an odd sense of what’s appropriate. Happily, quite a lot of what I receive is well prepared and enjoyable to read. But I’d have to say that anywhere from a fourth to even, on a bad week, a third, of what comes in falls squarely in the “I don’t THINK so” camp. So here, just to help you avoid such things, are some …
Easily Entertained
Recently my husband, daughter, and I had dinner with my parents at King’s Barbeque in Petersburg, Virginia. My paternal grandfather discovered this restaurant in the 1950s and it is still one of our family’s favorite places. Since it was near Christmas, they displayed a unique decoration – a pig wearing a Santa hat. Amused, I took pictures with my cell phone. I heard voices. “That’s a first!” I …
Exclamation Points!!! Avoid or Embrace?!
I love using exclamation points! Don’t you? How about interrobang sentences?! Finally, I think we should bring those back, don’t you?! And not just in dialogue, but in narrative! Finally, shouldn’t readers just really ought to be able to keep up with run-on sentences, no matter how complex, or whether or not they stay on topic, and I wonder how many people could diagram a sentence that’s simple, …
An Alternative Candidate
Friday October 14th was Winnie the Pooh’s 90th birthday. (I wrote about his birthday a few years ago here.) Below is what greeted me at the dinner table on Friday night. It brought hilarity and sudden clarity. I think I know how I should vote… Winnie-the-Pooh for President Piglet for Vice President Tigger for Secretary of State. Winnie-the-Pooh promises “Honey in every …
The Unintentionally Funny Headline
I came across the following headline in a recent publisher-related newsletter: “Speculative Authors Fight Mental Illness” I thought to myself “I know what they meant by the headline, but could it also be interpreted that authors who write speculative fiction are mentally ill?” There are some who call science fiction and fantasy writers “weird” but this headline …
Why I Wouldn’t Represent Bible People
Taking a cue from the media ads for various prescription drugs, including a legal disclaimer in any communication protects everyone from legal jeopardy or in this case, condemnation. God inspired the Bible and the thoughts expressed in it are exactly as God intended. No one shall add or take away anything. The following satire is intended for entertainment value only. The opinions expressed are …
You Say Tomato, I Hear Guacamole
I have a hearing problem. My ears are fine. For some reason listening to songs like Smoke on the Water and LaGrange on my headphones forty years ago had little or no effect on my eardrums. But over the years, I’ve begun to hear something different than what is being spoken. Come to think about it, maybe it was Deep Purple and ZZ Top that caused this. Politician says: “I can solve the problem.” I …
A Sensational New Market for Books is Found
In a startling revelation this week, the Foundation for Applied Knowledge and Enterprise (FAKE) in Danville, Delaware released the findings of their ten-year research study to identify unreached markets for printed books. Since the human market has been fully reached with books, the methodology used by FAKE was to determine which species of life on earth was advanced enough to warrant creating …
Zip It Mr. Galilei
Did you ever tell someone, “Don’t feel that way” and not get the best reaction? In the same vein is “Don’t be that way.” Honestly, I could never figure that one out. Feels like a philosophical conundrum of the highest order. Telling someone not to be. Four hundred years ago this week in 1616, Cardinal Bellarmine, representing the Catholic Church, issued an order to astronomer Galileo Galilei that …